Author Topic: But But I don't want to eat that.......  (Read 5313 times)

Rho

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But But I don't want to eat that.......
« on: April 07, 2019, 09:19:17 pm »
   In the near future DH & I  are invited to have dinner at Pams' house.  She is a great cook and serves a wonderful meal.
However last time she baked a Sponge Cake; something that I have never ever liked. It is high in sugar, low in flavor,  and very dry.
She put a slice on everyones' plate---along with slices from the cake  I had baked and brought with Pams permission.
I didn't know how to handle this so I ate everything and was annoyed about all the calories from something I didn't enjoy.

How could I have politely refused to eat the Sponge Cake ?

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NyaChan

Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2019, 10:15:04 pm »
I would have just not eaten that other slice or said when handed the plate “oh I don’t know if I can handle two slices! Should we set one aside before I eat from the plate?” 
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Luci

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Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2019, 10:43:09 pm »
Just don’t eat it. If she rudely comments on it, say that you had enough, thank you. No one forces me to eat anything just to be "polite."
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Aleko

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Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
« Reply #3 on: April 08, 2019, 01:45:18 am »
Perhaps Pam didn't want to put people on the spot by asking them which cake they wanted, which would force them either to snub one or other of the cake bakers or to look greedy by saying 'Both, please!', and thought best to give everyone a slice of both and leave them to eat whatever they chose. (Another solution could have been to cut slices of each on to a platter and hand it round to everyone; but not everybody's table is suited to that.)

If you were in time to forestall her planking both kinds on your plate, you could without offence have said, perfectly truthfully, 'No sponge cake for me please - it's just not my thing'. If not, you could simply have left it. No sane host/ess expects every guest to love every item they serve, or requires them to eat everything whether they like it or not; and it is rude to pay close attention to, let alone comment on, what guests leave on their plate.
« Last Edit: April 08, 2019, 08:17:05 am by Aleko »
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Rose Red

Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
« Reply #4 on: April 08, 2019, 06:55:07 am »
Next time, I wouldn't bring a second cake and say "No dessert for me thanks."

If you must, bring a fruit salad and say you just want a bit of fruit after that delicious dinner. I'm not sure why you brought cake when when she's already serving cake. I think Aleko is right about putting guests on the spot.

Wanaca

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Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
« Reply #5 on: April 08, 2019, 07:20:23 am »
I would have declined both slices of cake, claiming to be too full from such a wonderful meal.
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Hmmm

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Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
« Reply #6 on: April 08, 2019, 08:49:27 am »
I would have taken a couple of bits of both and left the rest. At the dinner parties I attend, few people finish the entire dessert and no one comments.
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Lula

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Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
« Reply #7 on: April 08, 2019, 01:07:56 pm »
"It looks beautiful, and I can appreciate all the work and skill that went into it, but you know what?  I've just never been able to get into sponge cake.  I'm afraid it's not a taste I'll ever acquire.  Thank you for offering, though."
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DaDancingPsych

Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
« Reply #8 on: April 08, 2019, 02:26:05 pm »
I have heard that with plated food that the polite thing to do is to take a few polite bites and not worry about finishing. I am not a huge fan of this when you know that you do not want something, as it seems rather wasteful. I think that it would be better to decline. I think that in this specific case since you made the other cake, that I would decline ALL dessert (even if I knew that I would enjoy mine.) I think that the polite fiction of not wanting dessert would be better than selecting my recipe over the hostess's. If I knew the hostess well, then I might say, "No sponge cake for me; it's not really my thing. Please save my piece for someone who will thoroughly appreciate it!" But I would never want the individual to think that I liked mine better, especially when I was not even giving theirs a chance!

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lowspark

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Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
« Reply #9 on: April 08, 2019, 02:46:01 pm »
If she is serving the cake within your view, politely decline the one you don't want by saying something like, "I'll just have a slice of the chocolate cake, please." If you aren't there when she's serving, then just take a bite or two and leave the rest. There is no rule that you have to eat every bit of everything you are served.
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Luci

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Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
« Reply #10 on: April 08, 2019, 07:07:11 pm »
"It looks beautiful, and I can appreciate all the work and skill that went into it, but you know what?  I've just never been able to get into sponge cake.  I'm afraid it's not a taste I'll ever acquire.  Thank you for offering, though."

As a busy hostess, I would be more upset by someone saying all that instead of, "No thank you."

By the way, I still won’t eat something I don’t want. There is the soup that was put before me. It was really strong garlicky and I wasn’t about to touch, even teaspoon, or I would have been sick all evening. Only with a rude direct question would I have even said that it was too spicy for me. Or if I were paying for it.
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lowspark

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Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
« Reply #11 on: April 09, 2019, 08:53:04 am »
"It looks beautiful, and I can appreciate all the work and skill that went into it, but you know what?  I've just never been able to get into sponge cake.  I'm afraid it's not a taste I'll ever acquire.  Thank you for offering, though."

As a busy hostess, I would be more upset by someone saying all that instead of, "No thank you."

I agree. Long explanations of why someone doesn't want to eat something I might be serving aren't necessary. "No thank you" is sufficient. It's sort of on par with information about allergies and possible negative outcomes. TMI.

And a gracious hostess will accept "No thank you" as a complete sentence. If they begin to insist, well then, all bets are off!
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oogyda

Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
« Reply #12 on: April 09, 2019, 12:39:12 pm »
Is there a dog you can feed under the table?
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TeamBhakta

Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
« Reply #13 on: April 09, 2019, 11:57:49 pm »
Save it on your plate for last. When you finish eating everything else and she asks why you didn't try it, say "Oh gosh, I'm too full for a slice. It looks lovely, though!"

Aleko

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Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
« Reply #14 on: April 10, 2019, 01:45:35 am »
Quote
Is there a dog you can feed under the table?

Please, no! Not even in jest. It's bad enough when people feed their own pets at table, but to feed other people's animals - even if what you're slipping them isn't something wholly unsuitable and unhealthy for them such as sponge cake - is a foul, foul fault.

Feeding other people's animals other than with their owners' explicit approval  is by definition rude to the owners, and what's more it is cruel to the animals. Never, never do it.
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