Author Topic: How private are bedrooms?  (Read 1257 times)

Chez Miriam

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2056
  • Location: Kent, UK
    • View Profile

  • Badges: (View All)
    Second year Anniversary 1000 Posts One year Anniversary
Re: How private are bedrooms?
« Reply #15 on: January 30, 2020, 04:56:21 am »
If a host has not introduced me to a room, then I would not go in there. So I would consider a den, library, family room, ect. that the host did not offer for my hospitality to be off limits. This would go double for a bedroom. If I was closer to the host, say a very good friend, and we had previously gathered there, I *might* be more comfortable going in such a room, but probably never a bedroom.

However, I agree that it was not MIL's place to provide a tour to anyone. It might be appropriate for her to ask, but even then I would think that she is overstepping boundaries a bit.

I once had a boyfriend who had a key to my apartment. He knew that he was welcome there even if I was not. One day he stopped into the apartment with a friend of his when I was not home. I don't know if they went into my bedroom, but this felt like a violation of my trust. The key was meant to allow him and only him in.

In the other thread I posted that I love house tours (which I do), but I would never consider going into a bedroom without the express instruction to do so from the homeowner, so I think DaDancingPsych sums it up perfectly for me.

The only exception to that is my mum's room: she sends me up there to look for things so often, and that is where we used to sleep when visiting that it was "our room" for the duration.  Now, we sleep in the caravan, so it would revert to 'only when told to'.

I close my bedroom door whenever we have workmen, but would tidy the room to 'guest ready' if we were to have guests, as if they would like to see it, I'm happy to show them - but not when it's the 'nuclear family only'* level of untidy that I have currently achieved!

* So that would just be my husband and I.
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."  - Julian of Norwich
Agree Agree x 1 View List

LadyJaneinMD

Re: How private are bedrooms?
« Reply #16 on: February 04, 2020, 09:29:03 am »
I think I would clarify that ALL rooms with closed doors are private.   Dens, bathrooms, bedrooms.  If the bathroom door is closed, either it's being used or out of bounds.  Once that door is open(if someone finishes in there), then it's open again. 
Now, if you're the kind of person who keeps the bathroom door closed (nothing wrong with that), then put a 'please knock first' sign on the door, or at least let your guests know. 
Otherwise, if I'm in someone else's house, every closed door is a door that I Do Not Enter. 
Agree Agree x 2 View List

TootsNYC

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2941
  • Location: formerly small-town Midwest, NYC as an adult
    • View Profile

  • Badges: (View All)
    Fifth year Anniversary Fourth year Anniversary Level 4
Re: How private are bedrooms?
« Reply #17 on: February 04, 2020, 10:23:57 am »
I believe that even if a bedroom door is open, it's still off-limits. I don't think people should have to run around closing all the doors in their home just because they have visitors.
Agree Agree x 1 View List

bopper

Re: How private are bedrooms?
« Reply #18 on: February 05, 2020, 10:36:58 am »
no no no Bedroom's are off limits unless expressly invited in!
Agree Agree x 1 View List

TootsNYC

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2941
  • Location: formerly small-town Midwest, NYC as an adult
    • View Profile

  • Badges: (View All)
    Fifth year Anniversary Fourth year Anniversary Level 4
Re: How private are bedrooms?
« Reply #19 on: February 05, 2020, 11:20:12 am »
(but yes, if the door to any room that isn't a bathroom is closed, you don't go in there)

Soop

Re: How private are bedrooms?
« Reply #20 on: February 06, 2020, 07:41:23 am »
On a slight tangent, if the hosts leave the bathroom door open when not in use, please leave it open when you are done. My SIL always shuts the bathroom door when she is done (not always fully, but at least pulled shut to the edge of the door jamb). Then my kitty comes to me doing the pee-pee dance and has to lead me over to open it so she can get at her litter box.
Agree Agree x 1 View List

Hmmm

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2797
  • Location: Texas - USA
    • View Profile

  • Badges: (View All)
    Fifth year Anniversary 2500 Posts Level 5
Re: How private are bedrooms?
« Reply #21 on: February 06, 2020, 09:20:01 am »
On a slight tangent, if the hosts leave the bathroom door open when not in use, please leave it open when you are done. My SIL always shuts the bathroom door when she is done (not always fully, but at least pulled shut to the edge of the door jamb). Then my kitty comes to me doing the pee-pee dance and has to lead me over to open it so she can get at her litter box.

I'm going to disagree on this one. Guests might be self conscious of any smells they may leave behind. As the homeowner, I'd remember to check occasionally that the door was open and room accessible for cat.

Or leave it up to the cat to alert you like it is now. My cat's come and alert me to all sorts of things like the door to their food room is closed or their food bowl is half empty; or a bedroom door is closed they want to sleep in it today; or my book is sitting on top of my laptop and they want to be laying on it; or the water in their bowl hasn't been freshened up in the last 4 hours; or their litter box hasn't been scooped in the last 2 hours; or the blinds to the window they've decided to look out today is closed...
Funny Funny x 1 View List

TootsNYC

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2941
  • Location: formerly small-town Midwest, NYC as an adult
    • View Profile

  • Badges: (View All)
    Fifth year Anniversary Fourth year Anniversary Level 4
Re: How private are bedrooms?
« Reply #22 on: February 06, 2020, 10:44:56 am »
I think guests should just not worry about any smells they might leave behind.

It's a bathroom; people poop there; it'll dissipate. And closing the door won't really make that much difference. In fact, it might slow down the dissipation.

I cannot imagine the mental energy I would have to exert to remember to go check the bathroom door after I had guests over, or during a gathering.

Leave things as you found them. That's the rule.


Agree Agree x 2 Disagree Disagree x 1 View List

Hmmm

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2797
  • Location: Texas - USA
    • View Profile

  • Badges: (View All)
    Fifth year Anniversary 2500 Posts Level 5
Re: How private are bedrooms?
« Reply #23 on: February 06, 2020, 11:02:06 am »
I think guests should just not worry about any smells they might leave behind.

It's a bathroom; people poop there; it'll dissipate. And closing the door won't really make that much difference. In fact, it might slow down the dissipation.

I cannot imagine the mental energy I would have to exert to remember to go check the bathroom door after I had guests over, or during a gathering.

Leave things as you found them. That's the rule.

Not in my home. If you've pooped in my guest bathroom, I really don't want the smell expanding into my dining or living room. Close the door as you leave even if it was ajar when you entered and leave the exhaust fan on.   

I don't see how much mental effort it is to remember that when SIL visits she closes the door so check it as you are moving her empty glass to the sink. I have a BIL who smokes and is the only regular guest who does so. There is a ash tray on our deck so after they visit, I have a mental check to go empty it.

If the door to the room to their litter box or food closed, my cat's alert me. It's not really hurting them that they have to come get me.
Agree Agree x 1 View List

Soop

Re: How private are bedrooms?
« Reply #24 on: February 06, 2020, 02:59:09 pm »
I think guests should just not worry about any smells they might leave behind.

It's a bathroom; people poop there; it'll dissipate. And closing the door won't really make that much difference. In fact, it might slow down the dissipation.

I cannot imagine the mental energy I would have to exert to remember to go check the bathroom door after I had guests over, or during a gathering.

Leave things as you found them. That's the rule.
Yeah, closing the door is just going to trap it for the next person. We don't have an exhaust fan in the bathroom. There's a can of Febreze room spray that people use.

jpcher

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3187
  • Location: Chicago Area
    • View Profile

  • Badges: (View All)
    Level 5 Fifth year Anniversary Fourth year Anniversary
Re: How private are bedrooms?
« Reply #25 on: February 06, 2020, 04:06:44 pm »
My guest bathroom has an automatic hinge that swings the door closed. Not completely shut (latched) but it's easily discernible enough to see if a light is on or not.

My BIL/SIL's guest bathroom is directly connected to their kitchen/dining area (yes, bad planning in my opinion) so the door is always closed. A knock is required to find out if it's occupied or not.

Hmmm

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2797
  • Location: Texas - USA
    • View Profile

  • Badges: (View All)
    Fifth year Anniversary 2500 Posts Level 5
Re: How private are bedrooms?
« Reply #26 on: February 11, 2020, 09:20:22 am »
I think guests should just not worry about any smells they might leave behind.

It's a bathroom; people poop there; it'll dissipate. And closing the door won't really make that much difference. In fact, it might slow down the dissipation.

I cannot imagine the mental energy I would have to exert to remember to go check the bathroom door after I had guests over, or during a gathering.

Leave things as you found them. That's the rule.
Yeah, closing the door is just going to trap it for the next person. We don't have an exhaust fan in the bathroom. There's a can of Febreze room spray that people use.
I'd rather it be trapped for the next person than everyone being exposed. Maybe if the guest bath was in an out of the way area I might feel differently. Our half bath is across from our utility room very close to the kitchen where everyone gathers. There is usually a candle burning when we have guests and a small bottle of air freshener that can be used.