Author Topic: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that" (Read 2616 times)

accountingisfun · « **Reply #30 on:** September 06, 2019, 03:43:32 pm »

I personally do not have many foods that I prefer not to eat, but my spouse does. He has a negative physical reaction to eating most vegetables, mostly because the texture is something he can't tolerate. He feels bad about it and wishes he was more adventurous in his eating, but he is not. I'm perfectly o.k. with this because it is his eating issues.

Sometimes, people ask me about his eating and ask me if I ever sneak vegetables or other things into his food. I get greatly offended at this. I personally find it incredibly rude to sneak an adult food that they don't want to eat for any reason. It could be an allergy, it could be a personal belief, or it could be just a general dislike of a food. When people ask me this - I often turn it around and ask if they would find it o.k. to sneak meat into a vegetarian dish or to sneak pork or shrimp to someone who is kosher or to sneak peanuts to someone with a peanut allergy. None of those things is ever acceptable. In some cases it could kill the person. It doesn't matter why a person doesn't eat a thing, if they don't eat a thing, it is incredibly rude to attempt to sneak the food into their diet. I respect my spouse and therefore I will never be so rude to him as to attempt to sneak food that he doesn't eat into his meals. It's just rude.

If your ex-spouse knew about your not eating grated strong cheese, sneaking it into your food without your knowledge is rude. Whatever type of cheese it is that you don't eat, it really doesn't matter. What does matter is that your ex-spouse was rude and disrespectful to you.

chigger · « **Reply #31 on:** September 06, 2019, 05:57:34 pm »

Quote from: PVZFan on September 06, 2019, 02:23:31 pm

Quote from: Venus193 on September 06, 2019, 01:54:07 pm
This may be the last time I ever post anything like this.

Although he's my ex and our past relationship is ancient history we did live together for four years. During this time he never saw me put grated cheese in or on my food although he was perfectly free to add it to his own. I never cooked with it and I can't stand the smell of parmesan cheese or anything similar. I also don't like blue cheese, limburger, or anything else like it. We had a more recent conversation in which I told him about the restaurant near one of my old offices that used to shave "sheets" of that stuff onto side salads and I had sent one back because I can't stand this stuff. After the second visit to that restaurant I wouldn't go back because the whole place stank of that stuff (in addition to being noisy because of lack of carpets).

I will eat things like cheddar, brie, gouda, etc., but anything with a strong smell that isn't garlic is off my menu.

This is exactly how I feel about this:

Quote from: Rose Red on September 06, 2019, 09:34:25 am
It doesn't matter why you won't eat certain foods. It should be respected even if the reason is because the sky is blue. Accidents happen but this sounds deliberate which is not something a friend does. And the fact is that he's not even head-on about it (for example, "I don't care. I'm cooking with cheese. Like it or lump it."). He was being sneaky behind your back and sneaky is what I'm offended about.

I'd either drop such a disrespectful person or refuse to eat anything he prepares. Trust is gone. If he's untrustworthy about food, what else is he untrustworthy and sneaky about?

Update:

He called this morning and we talked about this. I backed out of going because I wasn't feeling well, oddly because something I ate in the pub last night didn't agree with me. I will see him on Sunday and got him to agree not to cook with that stuff (which turns out to be pecorino romano; he doesn't eat locatelli anymore). If I had ever cooked anything during our relationship with any ingredient he didn't like he never said anything at the time.

However if he ever makes Alfredo sauce I'm out of there.

Nice job setting and enforcing your boundary!

I'm sorry you feel that way about posting. I understand, though. I started a post on the last forum and I found myself talking/ yelling at the computer to some of the responses.

E.g. - Post - "What does the OP expect here?!" with an implication that I was unreasonable.
Me, yelling at the screen, - "A thank you! I said that in my OP. A basic (bleeping) thank you!"

So, if you've been yelling at your screen, I've been there and I'm sorry. FWIW, this was a useful thread. I have a food I hate. Everyone knows it. It's sometimes a joke, but no one tries to sneak it to me and I'd consider it pretty hostile if they knowingly gave it to me. (No, I don't expect ppl to remember my strong preferences. but if they didn't know or forget and gave it to me, I'd be angry. )

Oh, yes, yelling at the screen at the old site! I remember posting a thread and saying "the pediatrician did NOT recommend this", and being jumped on over and over that I was ignoring Doctor's orders! Think that was when I was banned.

ETA: Pecorino is really strong smelling!!

Aleko · « **Reply #32 on:** September 07, 2019, 02:43:56 am »

Quote

Pecorino is really strong smelling!!

Is there only one kind of pecorino available to buy where you live? Because pecorino is just the Italian word for any cheese made of sheep's milk. Many Italian regions make their own traditional sheep's milk cheese; they are all different, as you would expect, and furthermore most of those cheeses can be sold either young or mature, effectively doubling the variety. But even so I've never encountered any pecorino that smelt very strong. (Then again, anyone who has never encountered a ripe Munster, Epoisses, Stinking Bishop or the like has no idea what a really strong-smelling cheese is like!)

chigger · « **Reply #33 on:** September 07, 2019, 03:01:13 pm »

Pecorino Romano is what I've used. Like Parmesan, it smells like someones stinky feet, when freshly grated! My assumption is this is what OP's "friend" is using. The tastiest cheese I've ever had was a bleu that absolutely reeked, but it was so good!

ETA: Reading the OP's post again, yes it was Pecorino Romano, and yes, it does stink, Aleko

oogyda · « **Reply #34 on:** September 17, 2019, 07:02:57 am »

Quote from: Venus193 on September 06, 2019, 01:54:07 pm

This may be the last time I ever post anything like this.

Although he's my ex and our past relationship is ancient history we did live together for four years. During this time he never saw me put grated cheese in or on my food although he was perfectly free to add it to his own. I never cooked with it and I can't stand the smell of parmesan cheese or anything similar. I also don't like blue cheese, limburger, or anything else like it. We had a more recent conversation in which I told him about the restaurant near one of my old offices that used to shave "sheets" of that stuff onto side salads and I had sent one back because I can't stand this stuff. After the second visit to that restaurant I wouldn't go back because the whole place stank of that stuff (in addition to being noisy because of lack of carpets).

I will eat things like cheddar, brie, gouda, etc., but anything with a strong smell that isn't garlic is off my menu.

This is exactly how I feel about this:

Quote from: Rose Red on September 06, 2019, 09:34:25 am
It doesn't matter why you won't eat certain foods. It should be respected even if the reason is because the sky is blue. Accidents happen but this sounds deliberate which is not something a friend does. And the fact is that he's not even head-on about it (for example, "I don't care. I'm cooking with cheese. Like it or lump it."). He was being sneaky behind your back and sneaky is what I'm offended about.

I'd either drop such a disrespectful person or refuse to eat anything he prepares. Trust is gone. If he's untrustworthy about food, what else is he untrustworthy and sneaky about?

Update:

He called this morning and we talked about this. I backed out of going because I wasn't feeling well, oddly because something I ate in the pub last night didn't agree with me. I will see him on Sunday and got him to agree not to cook with that stuff (which turns out to be pecorino romano; he doesn't eat locatelli anymore). If I had ever cooked anything during our relationship with any ingredient he didn't like he never said anything at the time.

However if he ever makes Alfredo sauce I'm out of there.

It wasn't you! Believe me. Things got a bit nit-picky there and I understand how you feel.

bopper · « **Reply #35 on:** September 19, 2019, 01:04:00 pm »

if you go to the Opera together, then meet there instead of his place (or just pick him up).
if you want anything to do with him, just don't eat meals at his place. If he asks why, then say "Based on what you said I can't trust you to prepare meals for me." "I was just joking". "Nevertheless, I won't be eating at your house. Do you want to see La Traviata this week?"

Also read:
My Friend’s Cooking Has Twice Made Me Sick. Do I Accept Her Latest Dinner Invitation?
https://slate.com/human-interest/2019/09/dear-prudence-peanut-allergy-friend-dinners.html

Bad Manners and Brimstone

News:

Author Topic: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that" (Read 2616 times)

accountingisfun

Re: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that"

chigger

Re: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that"

Aleko

Re: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that"

chigger

Re: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that"

oogyda

Re: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that"

bopper

Re: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that"