How did her choice effect your visit? Did she sleep until noon and you were left waiting for her to awake to continue socializing? Was she grumpy the next day? Were you not planning to spend time with her so it made no difference?
I'm going to make an interesting assumption that the two of you are young. I feel like the rules are slightly different for younger people. It's more socially acceptable to make plan changes at a whim like this. But I still think that if a friend drove a distance to spend time with me that I should not be accepting other plans that may effect that visit. When Xainte declined, I think that the friend should have declined. The only thing that Xainte maybe should have done was remove the "but you can go if you want to". But otherwise, I would probably have done as you did. But I would take this into consideration for future visits.
However, I think COVID changes everything, at least in my area. The real problem would have been that my friend was heading to a party that I assuming was over gathering limits and probably with intoxicated folks who were failing to socially distance. I would have probably expressed this within my decline. It might have even meant that I cut the visit short as I would not have wanted to be around her upon return. However, I would have made my friend aware of my beliefs before the visit, so this would not have been a surprise. Everyone that I have been socializing with (and the list is very small) is well aware of the choices that I have been making and vice versa. If I had a friend who was attending large parties, I would probably not be visiting her (especially overnight) for the time being.
A side note about getting a hotel room. I am the sort of person who prefers to have her own space when visiting. So when making plans, I have said things like, "I really appreciate your offer to stay at your place, but I'm kinda weird. I am much more comfortable with my own hotel room. However, I do want to visit and do XYZ with you." When I make it more about me I think it removes the sting if there is any.