Author Topic: Ask Natalie: His Gag Gifts Aren't Funny  (Read 3540 times)

Venus193

Ask Natalie: His Gag Gifts Aren't Funny
« on: April 20, 2019, 05:32:08 am »

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Aleko

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Re: Ask Natalie: His Gag Gifts Aren't Funny
« Reply #1 on: April 20, 2019, 05:54:47 am »
Can you cut and paste this? Uxpress isn't available overseas.
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Dazi

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Re: Ask Natalie: His Gag Gifts Aren't Funny
« Reply #2 on: April 20, 2019, 06:00:17 am »
Honestly, I don't think adults should exchange gifts period. Birthdays and holiday gifts are for children IMO. The only person who does still give me gifts as an adult is my mother and I'm okay with that.

If her family insists gift exchanges are a must, then she should consider giving him equal gifts to what she's been receiving if they irk her so badly. So hit the Dollar Store and load up on fake vomit, poo, cockroaches, etc. Either he'll love it or pitch a fit.
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Venus193

Re: Ask Natalie: His Gag Gifts Aren't Funny
« Reply #3 on: April 20, 2019, 06:12:00 am »
We aren't supposed to do that, but I will copy and paste the question only:

DEAR NATALIE: My brother-in-law loves to give "gag" gifts for birthdays. He thinks it's funny to buy us whoopee cushions and inappropriately shaped pasta noodles. My sister just ignores her husband, but I told her that I'm not buying him gifts anymore because I'm sick of spending time and money to put into thoughtful birthday and holiday gifts for him while I get a $5 joke for a present. This offended her, and she said that he is just trying to be funny. Well, it's annoying and rude. Plus I have all these gifts (this has been going on for YEARS) that are just collecting dust in a corner of my closet that I will never use and am too embarrassed to give away.

His birthday is coming up next month, and I am tempted to not give him anything. What do you think I should do? He's a nice enough guy, but I'm really annoyed with him and my sister's attitude. -- GAG ME
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Rose Red

Re: Ask Natalie: His Gag Gifts Aren't Funny
« Reply #4 on: April 20, 2019, 06:36:58 am »
Give him $5 gag gifts back since he finds those things funny and appropriate as gifts. Or just buy him candy or bake him cookies. She doesn't have to spend a lot of money, time, or thought.

And for goodness sake, just get rid of the junk. It's not like the vase Aunt Jane got you that you have to drag out when she visit.

The thrift shop, Goodwill, or the garbage man are too busy and are not going to waste time judging you. Stop worrying what others think.
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Venus193

Re: Ask Natalie: His Gag Gifts Aren't Funny
« Reply #5 on: April 20, 2019, 06:46:42 am »
I'm sure that the sanitation department just wants to get its job done and head for the shower.
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Aleko

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Re: Ask Natalie: His Gag Gifts Aren't Funny
« Reply #6 on: April 20, 2019, 08:02:22 am »
LW should get her head out of her backside. Someone who consistently sends cheap joke presents is sending the message that in their opinion that is all the relationship calls for, and it is downright PA to persist in responding with expensive 'thoughtful' presents. Refusing to get the message is the opposite of thoughtful.

As others have said, nobody expects presents of that kind to be kept, and the charity shop and the binmen really aren't in the business of judging your taste, so she should just offload them and stop getting so steamed up about it.

Sure, it's a pity, and annoying, that his humour is so badly misdirected. My mother and a very old friend of hers had a very long-running gag of sending each other hideous and unsuitable Christmas presents with a straight face ("I saw this and instantly thought of you") and then writing fulsome thank-you letters. I remember for example that one time Friend, knowing my mother had a particular dislike of a) stray hair and (b) Victoriana, sent her a Victorian hair-tidy (a little pot for the dressing-table, to hold hair-combings) of china painted with cabbage roses. The kicker was that Friend put some combings in it before she wrapped it, just to gross Mum out. (She succeeded.) Our whole family all looked forward every year to seeing Friend's present to Mum, and hearing the spoof expressions of gratitude read out.

Btw, what was the gist of the reply?
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Venus193

Re: Ask Natalie: His Gag Gifts Aren't Funny
« Reply #7 on: April 20, 2019, 09:16:27 am »
The columnist's reply suggested giving him all those things back in a big bag or all wrapped to let him know what that felt like.  She also suggested having a small gift card as a peace offering if that upset him.  The problem with that suggestion -- in my opinion -- is that it ruins the message she intends to send back.  However, this carries the risk of him thinking it's hilarious and could escalate the situation.

Hence my suggestion.  Not exactly what we would normally recommend here, but if this humiliates him in front of the rest of the family it's what he deserves.

As to her sister's reaction, I think her sister is an equal jerkwad.  While marriage is a change of alliance to putting one's partner first that doesn't mean that said partner is allowed to deliberately insult the in-laws.
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vintagegal

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Re: Ask Natalie: His Gag Gifts Aren't Funny
« Reply #8 on: April 20, 2019, 09:33:06 am »
She has a closet full of gag gifts? Just pull out one each year and wrap and re-gift.
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AvidReader

Re: Ask Natalie: His Gag Gifts Aren't Funny
« Reply #9 on: April 20, 2019, 10:14:44 am »
I'm with the previous poster who suggested to just get him a gift bag of candy...same gift....every occasion....(whether he can/should eat it or not), be done with it, and toss the pile-o'-jokey-junk in the trash.  Don't even bring the latest gift into the house.  If he wants to waste his money on that stuff, that's on him.  Save the well-thought out gift selections for those who appreciate it.
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MichelleZB

Re: Ask Natalie: His Gag Gifts Aren't Funny
« Reply #10 on: April 20, 2019, 11:41:04 am »
Pick a good book and give him a new copy every year. When he points out you already gave him that one, say, "Did I? Oh dear." And repeat year after year. Meanwhile, donate the gag gifts!
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GardenGal

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Re: Ask Natalie: His Gag Gifts Aren't Funny
« Reply #11 on: April 20, 2019, 03:39:10 pm »
I agree with PP who said to throw away all the gifts received in the past and to give him a gag gift in the future.  I'd also refuse to open his gifts when I get them - don't give him the joy of seeing your reaction.  You could say, "Oh, I'm sure this is another gag gift, I'll open it when I need a good laugh."  Then toss it out unopened when you get home.  Don't give this so much headspace.
No matter where you go, there you are - Buckaroo Banzai
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hovlane

Re: Ask Natalie: His Gag Gifts Aren't Funny
« Reply #12 on: April 20, 2019, 04:46:59 pm »
It's called having a sense of humor. Sounds like the LW could use one for her next birthday.
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oogyda

Re: Ask Natalie: His Gag Gifts Aren't Funny
« Reply #13 on: April 20, 2019, 04:57:57 pm »
I think she should stick to her word.  She told her sister she was going to stop giving BIL gifts.  If she gives him a gift of any kind, that shows that her word is meaningless.

And....get rid of the pile, for crying out loud.
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Rain

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Re: Ask Natalie: His Gag Gifts Aren't Funny
« Reply #14 on: April 20, 2019, 05:13:10 pm »
Retaliatory "gifts" are not appropriate.

Instead of triangulating, the LW should speak to her BIL.
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