Author Topic: Drive Through Baby Shower (Read 1200 times)

lakey · « **Reply #15 on:** August 29, 2020, 11:43:00 pm »

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Re: Drive Through Baby Shower
« Reply #11 on: Today at 01:35:01 pm »
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I’ve participated in a birthday parade where we decorated our vehicles, drove by honking and waving. The birthday boy had his decorations too and on the second lap around the block, we dropped off our gifts. It was a lot of fun. I’ve seen a few of these birthday parades and graduation parades. I think it would be strange if I was just suppose to drop off a gift. Couldn’t I do that at any time?

Of all the ideas in this thread, I like this the best. This isn't just handing over a gift, it's a celebration. Especially with children's birthdays or graduations, it is a way to make them feel special. As with any of the events, too much focus on receiving gifts can be off putting, making it more about celebrating the event makes it fun.

bopper · « **Reply #16 on:** August 31, 2020, 10:48:17 am »

I dunno...I view this sort of an "open House"...but a drive through.

We had a family who was leaving our church. Normally we would have cake after service for them. But with Covid, we had a drive-by "farewell"...they stood outside the church and people drove up in cars to say farewell.

I supposed a zoom party would be better? At least this way you get a chance to speak 1 - 1 with the mom(/dad).

What else would you suggest during covid?

Aleko · « **Reply #17 on:** August 31, 2020, 11:04:05 am »

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As with any of the events, too much focus on receiving gifts can be off putting, making it more about celebrating the event makes it fun.

This! It's even possible that the aunt is genuinely planning as much interaction and festivity as possible when the hosts are on their doorstep and the guests in their cars - but by tactlessly labelling it a "drive through baby shower" she has made it sound like a pure gift grab. Once that impression has been made on prospective guests' minds, it will be hard to change that.

TootsNYC · « **Reply #18 on:** August 31, 2020, 01:08:36 pm »

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the concept of a party given for the avowed purpose of receiving gifts is completely alien

Think of it as a party for the avowed purpose of GIVING gifts.

We've ended up with the guest of honor having a little too much involvement (in some cases, WAY too much involvement). But that's what its intent and origin was; it sprang from the guests toward the recipient.
And for many years, it also didn't involve expensive presents. For a bridal shower, it was maybe a case of 8 drinking glasses, etc. The gifts were absolutely not intended to be expensive. And the circle of invitees was supposed to be small.

That was indeed the case with every one of my bridal showers, and the baby shower. Other people said, "I want to throw you a party."

gellchom · « **Reply #19 on:** August 31, 2020, 05:22:22 pm »

I suppose it's possible that they are planning something that would be nice for the guests, but the OP doesn't say anything to suggest that they are. In fact, the OP's description states the opposite:

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Basically you drive up and drop off a gift. There is a 2 hr window to do this.

So I'm back to hating this.

Andi_3k · « **Reply #20 on:** September 01, 2020, 11:00:56 pm »

No one is owed a celebration
No one is owed gifts
I would not attend and if I lived in the neighborhood I would not be please to have two hours or so of drive bying
I would actually consider my neighbors very rude to do this and depending on how badly it impacted the access in and out of my neighborhood— it might just color my opinion of the neighbor

Aleko · « **Reply #21 on:** September 02, 2020, 02:13:24 am »

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if I lived in the neighborhood I would not be please to have two hours or so of drive bying
I would actually consider my neighbors very rude to do this and depending on how badly it impacted the access in and out of my neighborhood— it might just color my opinion of the neighbor

I think that’s a bit unfair, because if they were able to have a physical party you’d have the exact number of cars arriving, and later leaving again. In fact you’d actually have more nuisance, surely, because in between all these extra cars would be have to be parked around your street for hours.

DaDancingPsych · « **Reply #22 on:** September 02, 2020, 08:21:12 am »

Quote from: Aleko on September 02, 2020, 02:13:24 am

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if I lived in the neighborhood I would not be please to have two hours or so of drive bying
I would actually consider my neighbors very rude to do this and depending on how badly it impacted the access in and out of my neighborhood— it might just color my opinion of the neighbor

I think that’s a bit unfair, because if they were able to have a physical party you’d have the exact number of cars arriving, and later leaving again. In fact you’d actually have more nuisance, surely, because in between all these extra cars would be have to be parked around your street for hours.

I agree. Having any kind of gathering (regular shower or drive-by) is going to potentially cause some traffic issues. However, I think that it's important for the party hosts to do everything that they can to not inconvenience the neighborhood for either type of party.

I live in a townhouse, so parking can be issue. I can probably park three cars in front of my home and there are a limited number of guest spots down the street. Whenever someone has a gathering of sorts, we simply all work together (even as the uninvited neighbor) to make the parking work. However, if I was going to host something for more than a handful of cars, I would probably reconsider using my home.

Also, I live on a dead-end street. Any drive through or parade would need to U-turn in front of my home to exit. If I was going to host this, I would probably work out specific times for each guest, although even that logistically would be inconvenient to my neighbors. So, I would probably look into using someone else's home or a parking lot.

My point? No matter what type of party that you are hosting, you should always keep your neighbors in mind and make plans that will work for your neighborhood. Also, everyone's living situation comes with things that we simply deal with. Sometimes I have to accept that my neighbors are going to make noise and that their guests might use a parking spot. But I don't have to worry about cows getting loose!

Andi_3k · « **Reply #23 on:** September 02, 2020, 09:10:15 am »

Quote from: DaDancingPsych on September 02, 2020, 08:21:12 am

Quote from: Aleko on September 02, 2020, 02:13:24 am
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if I lived in the neighborhood I would not be please to have two hours or so of drive bying
I would actually consider my neighbors very rude to do this and depending on how badly it impacted the access in and out of my neighborhood— it might just color my opinion of the neighbor

I think that’s a bit unfair, because if they were able to have a physical party you’d have the exact number of cars arriving, and later leaving again. In fact you’d actually have more nuisance, surely, because in between all these extra cars would be have to be parked around your street for hours.

I agree. Having any kind of gathering (regular shower or drive-by) is going to potentially cause some traffic issues. However, I think that it's important for the party hosts to do everything that they can to not inconvenience the neighborhood for either type of party.

I live in a townhouse, so parking can be issue. I can probably park three cars in front of my home and there are a limited number of guest spots down the street. Whenever someone has a gathering of sorts, we simply all work together (even as the uninvited neighbor) to make the parking work. However, if I was going to host something for more than a handful of cars, I would probably reconsider using my home.

Also, I live on a dead-end street. Any drive through or parade would need to U-turn in front of my home to exit. If I was going to host this, I would probably work out specific times for each guest, although even that logistically would be inconvenient to my neighbors. So, I would probably look into using someone else's home or a parking lot.

My point? No matter what type of party that you are hosting, you should always keep your neighbors in mind and make plans that will work for your neighborhood. Also, everyone's living situation comes with things that we simply deal with. Sometimes I have to accept that my neighbors are going to make noise and that their guests might use a parking spot. But I don't have to worry about cows getting loose!

Actually from personal experience- the drive bus are MUCH more disruption. For a stay in party they park go, in and stay put for at least a couple of hours- and in that couple of hours, the neighborhood goes on as normal.. With a drive by normal traffic AND noise patterns are interrupted for the duration. My neighborhood has had several parades go through in normal times, along with road races a business that requires street parking and we have two neighbors who even during lockdown were having stay in parties. I have say out of all of that the MOST disruptive, most complained about and most hated are the drive by “events” this summer

Despedina · « **Reply #24 on:** September 02, 2020, 03:27:41 pm »

OP Here - yes no more info on the drive through. Its Sept 20 and only 5 people have RSVP'd so far. 2 are siblings to my cousin and one is my grandma. They prominently displayed where they are registered on the event site. It does now say "more info to come" so we'll see. If this is just driving by and dropping a gift like it portraying itself, then I'll have to decline. I should also add that this cousin (who is the father to be) has blown me off a couple of times on things so I'm not too keen anyway. I think I'd go if it was a traditional event but this seems cold.

DaDancingPsych · « **Reply #25 on:** September 02, 2020, 08:37:26 pm »

Quote from: Andi_3k on September 02, 2020, 09:10:15 am

Quote from: DaDancingPsych on September 02, 2020, 08:21:12 am
Quote from: Aleko on September 02, 2020, 02:13:24 am
Quote
if I lived in the neighborhood I would not be please to have two hours or so of drive bying
I would actually consider my neighbors very rude to do this and depending on how badly it impacted the access in and out of my neighborhood— it might just color my opinion of the neighbor

I think that’s a bit unfair, because if they were able to have a physical party you’d have the exact number of cars arriving, and later leaving again. In fact you’d actually have more nuisance, surely, because in between all these extra cars would be have to be parked around your street for hours.

I agree. Having any kind of gathering (regular shower or drive-by) is going to potentially cause some traffic issues. However, I think that it's important for the party hosts to do everything that they can to not inconvenience the neighborhood for either type of party.

I live in a townhouse, so parking can be issue. I can probably park three cars in front of my home and there are a limited number of guest spots down the street. Whenever someone has a gathering of sorts, we simply all work together (even as the uninvited neighbor) to make the parking work. However, if I was going to host something for more than a handful of cars, I would probably reconsider using my home.

Also, I live on a dead-end street. Any drive through or parade would need to U-turn in front of my home to exit. If I was going to host this, I would probably work out specific times for each guest, although even that logistically would be inconvenient to my neighbors. So, I would probably look into using someone else's home or a parking lot.

My point? No matter what type of party that you are hosting, you should always keep your neighbors in mind and make plans that will work for your neighborhood. Also, everyone's living situation comes with things that we simply deal with. Sometimes I have to accept that my neighbors are going to make noise and that their guests might use a parking spot. But I don't have to worry about cows getting loose!

Actually from personal experience- the drive bus are MUCH more disruption. For a stay in party they park go, in and stay put for at least a couple of hours- and in that couple of hours, the neighborhood goes on as normal.. With a drive by normal traffic AND noise patterns are interrupted for the duration. My neighborhood has had several parades go through in normal times, along with road races a business that requires street parking and we have two neighbors who even during lockdown were having stay in parties. I have say out of all of that the MOST disruptive, most complained about and most hated are the drive by “events” this summer

I think different settings will bring different levels of disruption and that some types of parties may be more or less disruptive to different types of neighborhoods (which is what I was trying to say.) I'm with you. A drive-by shower in my situation (described above) would be a nightmare. However, my previous living apartment would have probably done better with the drive-by as parking was impossible when someone didn't have extra guests. But as I stated above, I think that the host should be thoughtful of what inconveniences that may be bringing to their neighbors.

Hmmm · « **Reply #26 on:** September 03, 2020, 10:18:42 am »

Quote from: Andi_3k on September 02, 2020, 09:10:15 am

Quote from: DaDancingPsych on September 02, 2020, 08:21:12 am
Quote from: Aleko on September 02, 2020, 02:13:24 am
Quote
if I lived in the neighborhood I would not be please to have two hours or so of drive bying
I would actually consider my neighbors very rude to do this and depending on how badly it impacted the access in and out of my neighborhood— it might just color my opinion of the neighbor

I think that’s a bit unfair, because if they were able to have a physical party you’d have the exact number of cars arriving, and later leaving again. In fact you’d actually have more nuisance, surely, because in between all these extra cars would be have to be parked around your street for hours.

I agree. Having any kind of gathering (regular shower or drive-by) is going to potentially cause some traffic issues. However, I think that it's important for the party hosts to do everything that they can to not inconvenience the neighborhood for either type of party.

I live in a townhouse, so parking can be issue. I can probably park three cars in front of my home and there are a limited number of guest spots down the street. Whenever someone has a gathering of sorts, we simply all work together (even as the uninvited neighbor) to make the parking work. However, if I was going to host something for more than a handful of cars, I would probably reconsider using my home.

Also, I live on a dead-end street. Any drive through or parade would need to U-turn in front of my home to exit. If I was going to host this, I would probably work out specific times for each guest, although even that logistically would be inconvenient to my neighbors. So, I would probably look into using someone else's home or a parking lot.

My point? No matter what type of party that you are hosting, you should always keep your neighbors in mind and make plans that will work for your neighborhood. Also, everyone's living situation comes with things that we simply deal with. Sometimes I have to accept that my neighbors are going to make noise and that their guests might use a parking spot. But I don't have to worry about cows getting loose!

Actually from personal experience- the drive bus are MUCH more disruption. For a stay in party they park go, in and stay put for at least a couple of hours- and in that couple of hours, the neighborhood goes on as normal.. With a drive by normal traffic AND noise patterns are interrupted for the duration. My neighborhood has had several parades go through in normal times, along with road races a business that requires street parking and we have two neighbors who even during lockdown were having stay in parties. I have say out of all of that the MOST disruptive, most complained about and most hated are the drive by “events” this summer

We've had a few of the graduation celebration, bday and other "parade" events. We live close to the elementary school which seems to be the popular staging and decorating area for these events. They are noisy for about 10 minutes in front of my house but I'm fine with it.

But this event does not sound like a "parade" style where everyone drives by at the same time since it is occuring over a 2 hour window. Unless there is 50 or more cars coming by over that 2 hours, I don't see how it could be that disruptive to neighbors.

Despedina · « **Reply #27 on:** September 14, 2020, 02:46:16 pm »

OP again. I received a paper invitation in the mail last week. The details are that the drive up will be between 1 and 3, the registry locations were on the invitation and it was noted that you would receive a "sweet treat". I declined. I feel badly that cousin's wife is pregnant during COVID but if I were me I'd almost just have a small get together or wait until after the baby was born.

violinp · « **Reply #28 on:** September 14, 2020, 04:00:38 pm »

Quote from: Despedina on September 14, 2020, 02:46:16 pm

OP again. I received a paper invitation in the mail last week. The details are that the drive up will be between 1 and 3, the registry locations were on the invitation and it was noted that you would receive a "sweet treat". I declined. I feel badly that cousin's wife is pregnant during COVID but if I were me I'd almost just have a small get together or wait until after the baby was born.

I mean, that's assuming that they feel comfortable having people over with a newborn who doesn't have as strong an immune system, plus everyone is gonna want to hug and kiss the baby, and you don't want to make the great - aunt or mom's friend or whomever mad by saying, "Sorry, no touching, only looking," because then you'll have "ruined" the party by putting your foot down about your own kid. Even if you have a burgeoning cold sore, kissing the baby can make him or her quite sick or even die.

For my part, I have no problem both having a party after (which I in fact am) and telling people no, but I also don't have family or friends living close who are disrespectful of me or my boundaries to the point that they would pout or make a scene over that. And it's easy to say, "Well, just don't invite them," but when you're newly postpartum, you reaaaallly don't want to kick off World War 5 in your family because you said, "Well, but Johnny's just a month old, so I don't feel comfortable with that." You're already dealing with recovering from a huge physical event that may or may not have included major abdominal surgery, you're trying to keep a growing human alive, your emotions and hormones are all over the place...it's unfair to place that kind of burden on a mom, especially a first - time mom.

I had a Zoom shower because a group of friends I met online wanted me to at least have some kind of celebration before DS gets here. They shipped everything to me and I opened things on camera and showed them off, and it was nice. But it seems silly, if everyone lives in the same place, to pay to ship things to the pregnant mom's house. I wouldn't mind the drop off at all. These are challenging and different times. It's not merely a gift grab to try and make what should be a normal and happy thing as normal as possible.

Frankly, it was a bit disheartening to see other people on this forum accuse moms who are trying to make a shower work by any means possible of being greedy or just out to get stuff, as if said moms have a whit of control over this situation, and indeed may have less money than they normally would to try and make things work to get baby things. Baby showers, at least in the States, have been a very normal thing for quite some time, and COVID, while necessitating changes for safety reasons, is not a reason to scorn moms who are trying to keep some semblance of normal. $:-\$

DaDancingPsych · « **Reply #29 on:** September 14, 2020, 04:45:42 pm »

Quote from: violinp on September 14, 2020, 04:00:38 pm

I had a Zoom shower because a group of friends I met online wanted me to at least have some kind of celebration before DS gets here. They shipped everything to me and I opened things on camera and showed them off, and it was nice. But it seems silly, if everyone lives in the same place, to pay to ship things to the pregnant mom's house. I wouldn't mind the drop off at all. These are challenging and different times. It's not merely a gift grab to try and make what should be a normal and happy thing as normal as possible.

Your Zoom shower sounds like it was lovely! Even as someone who is totally Zoomed out, I think that this would be quite enjoyable.

I think that this could even be done for a shower were everyone was local. They could still have a gift drop-off of some sorts or people could ship the gifts if desired. I wonder if this would satisfy some of those who think the drive-by option is a gift-grab?

Bad Manners and Brimstone

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Author Topic: Drive Through Baby Shower (Read 1200 times)

lakey

Re: Drive Through Baby Shower

bopper

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Aleko

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TootsNYC

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gellchom

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Andi_3k

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Aleko

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DaDancingPsych

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Andi_3k

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Despedina

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DaDancingPsych

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Hmmm

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Despedina

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violinp

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DaDancingPsych

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