Author Topic: How would you respond to this?  (Read 1522 times)

gellchom

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Re: How would you respond to this?
« Reply #15 on: September 27, 2020, 03:04:53 pm »
I feel the same way as everyone else does -- this is rude, and I would hate it.  (I DO hate it, with my own friends who do this).

But it's too easy to say "Just stop inviting him."  The OP obviously has enough of a relationship with this relative and his family that she WANTS to see them.  And this is a relative, so that means it might well affect other relatives who are invited.  For example, suppose he has siblings who are invited; the OP might be putting them in an awkward spot if she cuts him from the list.  Mary Sunshine Rain's post on this point was excellent.

I'm not saying she has to keep inviting him.  I'm just saying that it's not as simple as "Just don't invite him."  Or the OP wouldn't have asked the question -- they'd just have stopped inviting him. 

I like the idea of explaining why it's a problem.  Maybe some people, especially those who don't entertain themselves (we don't know if that is the case here), don't realize how problematic this is for hosts.  I'd probably put it in an email so he doesn't feel defensive and like he has to respond to that on the spot.  He can just send a return email with a firm answer or -- and this is also just fine, in my book -- something like, "We aren't sure of our schedules yet; can we let you know by [date]?"