I think it depends on the relationship but I know with my husband and I we simply ask each other or tell each other what it is we are looking for in a particular situation.
For example:
Me: "The check engine light is on in my car. Are you able to take it to the shop today?"
vs.
Me: "I had an awful day at work today. I'm not looking for how you would have handled this situation, I just want to vent about it."
That way he doesn't have to guess what it is I am looking for. Or also:
Him: "My back is really hurting me."
Me: "Do you want some ideas to relieve the pain or do you want me to just be here with you?"
or
Him: "I was planning to mow the lawn today but cannot because my back hurts. Are you able to mow it for me?"