Author Topic: Asking a good cook to bring shredded cabbage as their contribution. (Read 5975 times)

Luci · « **Reply #30 on:** December 23, 2018, 04:07:07 pm »

Quote from: Jem on December 23, 2018, 12:08:27 pm

Quote from: kckgirl on December 23, 2018, 12:05:21 pm
Quote from: TootsNYC on December 21, 2018, 06:02:26 pm
I think your MIL is kind of rude here.
So disengage. Don't put any effort into it; just buy shredded cabbage for her and bring it.

I agree with this, and leave it in the bags from the store

Yep - I love the leaving it in the bags from the store! Even better if past the expiration date! Okay, don’t do that part...

I used shredded cabbage from the store before I add 1/2 recommended amount of commercial creamy dressing, because I don’t like vinegar and oil dressing. I pass as a guest when I get served that.

I also serve coleslaw as a salad when we are having pork, year around. My guests ask for the recipe. But that’s another thread.

LadyRexall · « **Reply #31 on:** December 23, 2018, 04:38:14 pm »

Quote from: Bales on December 23, 2018, 03:55:38 pm

Quote from: Hanna on December 23, 2018, 02:24:32 pm
Quote from: oogyda on December 23, 2018, 07:19:10 am
I have a dear friend who believes she is a good cook in general, and has a few dishes that she is famous for.....as in, everyone says hers are the best they've ever had and people would be crushed if she didn't make/bring them.

Those dishes include:

Caramel rolls: IMO, they are okay. I think they need to be left to rise after being rolled out, but she's usually rushing to get them done and make it to church on time.

German potato salad: It's okay, but nothing special.

Carrot cake: This is the one she's most "famous" for and makes a lot of them for Christmas goodies. I can't stand it. It's far too wet and heavy and the flavor is not good. Even my DH doesn't like it and he pretty much likes anything sweet.

Am I ever going to tell her this? Nope.
Is this a passive way of suggesting the OP is probably not a good cook?

I think the point was that "good cook" is subjective and like beauty, in the eye of the beholder (or mouth of the taster, in this case.)

Ok. Well I’ll change that from “good” cook to decent cook lol. I do get the point that what’s good to one is not good to another. I e studied cooking for years and prided myself on learning to cook since my mom wasn’t a very good cook. I’ve watched so many cooking shows and took culinary arts in college. But I do know at the very least I’m decent lol

Venus193 · « **Reply #32 on:** December 24, 2018, 06:46:51 am »

In response to a previous comment, coleslaw is routinely served year-round with sandwiches and burgers in New York eateries. One place I go to regularly makes it with apple cider vinegar, which I do not like. I therefore tell the waiter and just get extra pickles.

As it happens, I hate mayonnaise. I don't enjoy most coleslaw because of this but your MIL is being selfish if your guests like the way you make coleslaw. Say nothing and see if the other guests ask about yours.

kckgirl · « **Reply #33 on:** December 24, 2018, 11:33:54 am »

I actually prefer the vinegar and oil coleslaw, but I'm not picky, and if someone is bringing it to my dinner, we get what we get without complaint.

Chez Miriam · « **Reply #34 on:** December 24, 2018, 11:45:31 am »

I would be worried about shredding the cabbage myself - I would think it would wilt/go flabby before it was dressed, and then it would still be "wrong".

So I'm adding another vote to "buy some shredded cabbage to take". Stores use nitrogen dioxide (?) or something similar to keep bagged salad/veg fresh that home cooks can't replicate.

If she mentions you buying it, I think freshness/crispness is a perfect justification, and is true?

Good luck with finding something that will make her happy.

Raintree · « **Reply #35 on:** December 26, 2018, 11:52:50 pm »

Maybe she likes your creamy coleslaw but doesn't want to add another creamy dish to whatever else is already on offer (ie if there are already other creamy dishes, perhaps she'd like some balance). I'd just bring the plain cabbage as requested, or ask if there is a different dish she would prefer to have there to complement the meal. And then just sit back and enjoy not having to do much, and showcase your creamy cabbage dish at some other event like a summer picnic.

LadyRexall · « **Reply #36 on:** December 28, 2018, 05:42:11 pm »

I ended up buying two bags of pre shredded cabbage. Mom didn’t question it. She used one bag and when I was helping pack up leftovers I saw that there was over half left. So maybe it’s just her preference. Her and one son ate her coleslaw and no one asked about the creamy one. There weren’t any other competing creamy dishes so I’m guessing it’s just preference based. It worked out well anyhow because we do meal and presents on Christmas Eve with us and the kids so that morning was quite relaxing for me instead of cooking for her house!!!!! So it all ended well in the food front

pjeans · « **Reply #37 on:** December 28, 2018, 11:07:10 pm »

Nice job letting it roll off your back, and enjoying the day!

lakey · « **Reply #38 on:** December 29, 2018, 05:01:16 pm »

I'm glad it ended up going well. Personally, I think that if you are hosting and you are having people bring some of the dishes, you should be flexible as to what they bring. For instance, I would prefer to ask someone to bring something more general, like a vegetable side dish, and let them pick which recipe they want to make. If they want you to be more specific, you can always give them suggestions. A lot of people have certain dishes that they like to take to potlucks because they know that they turn out well. Usually there is so much food at these kinds of meals that it really doesn't matter if you don't care for creamy coleslaw because there are other things you can eat.

I do a lot of the holiday meals for my extended family, and if I'm that fussy about having particular kinds of cranberries, sweet potato dishes, or salads, then I'll just make it myself.

bopper · « **Reply #39 on:** March 12, 2019, 02:24:52 pm »

I would tell my DH he is in charge of the cooking for MIL from now on.
Or I would just buy store coleslaw and give it to her.

LifeOnPluto · « **Reply #40 on:** March 15, 2019, 10:59:12 pm »

Chiming in late here, but I think in this case, it's rather mean and controlling of MIL to deny the OP the pleasure of doing something that the OP loves (ie cooking) which is clearly appreciated by everyone else (ie as OP says there's normally very little of her food left over).

I think this is one case where I'd be "asking forgiveness, rather than permission". I'd bring the shredded cabbage, but also another dish that I've cooked - and I wouldn't ask MIL beforehand if that was ok. I'd just do it.

LadyRexall · « **Reply #41 on:** March 20, 2019, 03:47:59 pm »

Quote from: LifeOnPluto on March 15, 2019, 10:59:12 pm

Chiming in late here, but I think in this case, it's rather mean and controlling of MIL to deny the OP the pleasure of doing something that the OP loves (ie cooking) which is clearly appreciated by everyone else (ie as OP says there's normally very little of her food left over).

I think this is one case where I'd be "asking forgiveness, rather than permission". I'd bring the shredded cabbage, but also another dish that I've cooked - and I wouldn't ask MIL beforehand if that was ok. I'd just do it.

Late chime ins are just fine. Easter is fast approaching lol and mil hosts all functions at her house. For Easter I’m not planning to ask what I should bring. I may in fact show up with nothing. I’ll rither bring something I’d like to eat or nothing at all. But not in a passive aggressive sort of way

LadyRexall · « **Reply #42 on:** March 20, 2019, 04:02:04 pm »

Quote from: LifeOnPluto on March 15, 2019, 10:59:12 pm

Chiming in late here, but I think in this case, it's rather mean and controlling of MIL to deny the OP the pleasure of doing something that the OP loves (ie cooking) which is clearly appreciated by everyone else (ie as OP says there's normally very little of her food left over).

I think this is one case where I'd be "asking forgiveness, rather than permission". I'd bring the shredded cabbage, but also another dish that I've cooked - and I wouldn't ask MIL beforehand if that was ok. I'd just do it.

MichelleZB · « **Reply #43 on:** April 20, 2019, 11:48:51 am »

Do other people usually bring things to serve at MIL's house, or does she prefer to cook everything for her own hosted meals? Because, if the latter--that's fair enough. When I host dinners and people ask me what they can bring, I say, "Oh, just your very lovely, interesting selves!"

If you are drinkers, bring wine.

LadyRexall · « **Reply #44 on:** April 20, 2019, 03:05:16 pm »

Quote from: MichelleZB on April 20, 2019, 11:48:51 am

Do other people usually bring things to serve at MIL's house, or does she prefer to cook everything for her own hosted meals? Because, if the latter--that's fair enough. When I host dinners and people ask me what they can bring, I say, "Oh, just your very lovely, interesting selves!"

If you are drinkers, bring wine.

In more recent years mil has assigned people a dish or two to bring and contribute. So for this instance, yes she asked others to bring stuff. She didn’t ask me to bring anything to Easter dinner tomorrow (and I don’t know if she asked anyone else either....I’ll see when we get there tomorrow. )

Bad Manners and Brimstone

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Author Topic: Asking a good cook to bring shredded cabbage as their contribution. (Read 5975 times)

Luci

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LadyRexall

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Venus193

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kckgirl

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Chez Miriam

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Raintree

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LadyRexall

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pjeans

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lakey

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bopper

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LifeOnPluto

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LadyRexall

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LadyRexall

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MichelleZB

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LadyRexall

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