Author Topic: Jewish holidays primer for non-Jewish people.  (Read 1426 times)

Hanna

Jewish holidays primer for non-Jewish people.
« on: September 19, 2020, 10:17:40 am »
DH and I are Roman Catholics who recently moved to a predominantly Jewish neighborhood. We’ve gotten the warmest welcome I can imagine. They brought gifts, offered help, threw a party and more.

I’m hoping our Jewish forum members could give us advice on being good neighbors during the holidays. What to acknowledge, good ways to greet people during each holy day or period, etc.

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Winterlight

Re: Jewish holidays primer for non-Jewish people.
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2020, 12:36:53 pm »
Right now we're in the Days of Awe (also referred to as High Holy Days.) This is a ten day period which concludes with Yom Kippur, during which we reflect and repent on the year that has passed and look forward to the year to come. Today is the first day of Rosh Hashanah, the New Year, 5781 BCE (note, Jews do not use BC or AD in their calendars.)

The proper greeting for Rosh Hashanah is "L'shanah tovah," which means "To a good year," and is short for "L’shanah tovah tikatev v’taihatem." ("May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year.") Rosh Hashanah ends on Sunday night. It is a two-day holiday, and a lot of observant Jews take both days off (I did this year.)

Yom Kippur begins next Sunday evening and runs through Monday night. The proper greeting is either "Have an easy fast," or "Good Yom Tov." Do not say "Happy Yom Kippur," because it's not a festive holiday but a serious day of contemplation (though most won't take it amiss.)

The Days of Awe are the one of the two big holiday seasons for us, the other is Passover in the spring. Chanukkah is actually a minor holiday for us. It gets more play now because 1. Christmas overwhelms the winter season and it's hard on kids and 2. Everyone loves latkes and sufganiyah (jelly doughnuts.) ;D
« Last Edit: September 19, 2020, 12:41:32 pm by Winterlight »
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Buffalogal

Re: Jewish holidays primer for non-Jewish people.
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2020, 06:35:50 pm »
I'm not Jewish myself, but when a Jewish person dies, the proper thing to say to those who loved them, or in general, is "May his (or her or their) memory be (or be for) a blessing."

I've been reminded of this watching my fellow Christian friends respond to Justice Ginsberg's death with "may she rest in peace" which is not quite correct.
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Songbird

Re: Jewish holidays primer for non-Jewish people.
« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2020, 08:13:36 pm »
And don’t send cut flowers to a house of mourning.  Send food (make sure it’s kosher if the family keeps kosher at home), or make a donation to charity.

For a happy occasion, like a birth, wedding, or bar mitzvah, you say “mazel tov” or “congratulations”.

If giving a monetary gift, multiples of 18 are considered to be good luck.
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Hanna

Re: Jewish holidays primer for non-Jewish people.
« Reply #4 on: September 19, 2020, 11:36:40 pm »
Thank you dear people

Nikko-chan

Re: Jewish holidays primer for non-Jewish people.
« Reply #5 on: September 20, 2020, 05:26:12 am »
Not Jewish, best friend is though. And I have been dragged to enough holidays and what not to know a bit.

First: If you get invited to a Passover Seder, or find a Mock Seder in your area? Please go! All of the ones i have been to were great. Dress conservatively and you'll be fine. Passover Seder takes hours, all of the readings and what not but it is a really great thing to go to.

Second: There are lots of different greetings for different holidays and occasions. Both in English and in Hebrew. My advice is to learn them. Even a quick google five minutes before to get the pronounciation down is good.

Winterlight

Re: Jewish holidays primer for non-Jewish people.
« Reply #6 on: September 20, 2020, 10:44:43 am »
If you want to bring a hostess gift, I'd err on the side of bringing something kosher. If there's a kosher grocery or candy store near you, check them out first. I went to the candy store for a gift for people who were sitting shiva (Jewish mourning time) and the owner recommended I get dried fruit instead because a lot of other people were likely to be bringing sweets.

Speaking of shiva, here's a page that explains what to expect should you find yourself paying a shiva call.

https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/3756185/jewish/What-to-Expect-at-a-Shiva-Home.htm
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Songbird

Re: Jewish holidays primer for non-Jewish people.
« Reply #7 on: September 20, 2020, 02:09:25 pm »
Another suggestion.

When we sat shiva for my father (of blessed memory) we had more food than we knew what to do with.  My friend’s father passed away last week, and he told us that they also had “too much food” (especially since no one could pay a shiva call because if the virus).  So we gave a gift card to the local deli, they can use it later, when all of the food others sent is long gone.

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Songbird

Re: Jewish holidays primer for non-Jewish people.
« Reply #8 on: September 20, 2020, 02:11:29 pm »
And undoubtedly you will be invited to a life cycle event at the synagogue.  Please feel free to ask about a specific event.
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Buffalogal

Re: Jewish holidays primer for non-Jewish people.
« Reply #9 on: September 20, 2020, 02:25:03 pm »
It also should go without saying, but Judaism is not a monolith.  Like Christian denominations, different branches of Judaism practice their faith in different ways.  So it is important to know if the event you are attending (or the people you are interacting with) are Reform, Conservative, Orthodox, Hasadim or another branch.  What is acceptable and expected will be different depending on where in the spectrum of Judaism they are.
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Lilipons

Re: Jewish holidays primer for non-Jewish people.
« Reply #10 on: September 21, 2020, 10:40:14 am »
I think we all benefit from  threads like this one.  The more we learn about different ethnic customs and religious beliefs the richer we become. 
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PVZFan

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Re: Jewish holidays primer for non-Jewish people.
« Reply #11 on: September 21, 2020, 10:58:50 am »
Right now we're in the Days of Awe (also referred to as High Holy Days.) This is a ten day period which concludes with Yom Kippur, during which we reflect and repent on the year that has passed and look forward to the year to come. Today is the first day of Rosh Hashanah, the New Year, 5781 BCE (note, Jews do not use BC or AD in their calendars.)

The proper greeting for Rosh Hashanah is "L'shanah tovah," which means "To a good year," and is short for "L’shanah tovah tikatev v’taihatem." ("May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year.") Rosh Hashanah ends on Sunday night. It is a two-day holiday, and a lot of observant Jews take both days off (I did this year.)

Yom Kippur begins next Sunday evening and runs through Monday night. The proper greeting is either "Have an easy fast," or "Good Yom Tov." Do not say "Happy Yom Kippur," because it's not a festive holiday but a serious day of contemplation (though most won't take it amiss.)

The Days of Awe are the one of the two big holiday seasons for us, the other is Passover in the spring. Chanukkah is actually a minor holiday for us. It gets more play now because 1. Christmas overwhelms the winter season and it's hard on kids and 2. Everyone loves latkes and sufganiyah (jelly doughnuts.) ;D

For RBG, at least on my timeline, instead of "May her memory be a blessing," people are saying "May her memory be a revolution."

Quick story on the social greeting of "Easy fast" for Yom Kippur -

I work with people of multiple faiths and cultures so when I set up my year at a glance calendar, I mark off holidays and relevant cultural events. I include the social greetings in the calendar space. My husband asked about "Easy fast," and I explained it was for Yom Kippur. He then said, "Is it a fast similar to how we'd fast, for penance and spiritual growth? If it is, why would you want it to be easier? Don't you want them to have the full spiritual benefit of the fast? Fasting is hard, it should be hard." Me (interrupting) - "Because, telling someone 'Have a hard fast!' isn't nice. This is a social greeting."

I told my Jewish friend about it, thinking she'd get a kick out of him overthinking it, and... she agreed with him! She thought he had a good philosophical point, so now she says, "Have a meaningful fast." (I'm not suggesting anyone follow their lead.)
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Winterlight

Re: Jewish holidays primer for non-Jewish people.
« Reply #12 on: September 21, 2020, 12:35:48 pm »
Yeah, I think I'd stick to, "Have an easy fast," if you're not Jewish. Your friend isn't wrong, but it's probably safer to stay out of that lane.

Oh, yes, and "May their memory be for a blessing," is the traditional response to hearing of a death, rather than "Rest in peace," the latter being a Christian formula. It's not rude to use it if you don't know, though.

Winterlight

Re: Jewish holidays primer for non-Jewish people.
« Reply #13 on: September 21, 2020, 12:41:42 pm »
If you're looking for a quick overview of an event, check out this site:

https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/2994211/jewish/What-to-Expect-at.htm

https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/1675888/jewish/Jewish-Practice.htm

Chabad is Orthodox Judaism, and a more strict form of observance. Sticking to what they tell you means you'll be safe anywhere.
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Hanna

Re: Jewish holidays primer for non-Jewish people.
« Reply #14 on: September 23, 2020, 10:54:54 am »
I think we all benefit from  threads like this one.  The more we learn about different ethnic customs and religious beliefs the richer we become.

It really is enriching and makes life so much more fun and fulfilling.
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