Bad Manners and Brimstone

Sabbath services should be Friday evenings and Saturday mornings.  Guests are welcome. Well in my area some Synagogues discourage visiors and some ( mine) welcome guests. Call the office to check the time, duration, and dress code.  If we lived closer I would be glad to go with you.  I suggest you wait until after October 3 when the bulk of the High Holidays--busy season--is over.  Friday evnings are shorter and, in my experience less formal.  After any worship service there will be food and beverages.  You are welcome to partake.  Quietly stand up when the entire congregation is asked to stand or turn to the East (Jerusalem) when everyone else does.  No writing, phones, or cameras on Sabbath.  A po;ite greeting is " Good Sabbath" or the Hebrew "Shabbat Shalom"

Doh! I typed all this and then realized that many congregations are not meeting in person due to COVID. YES call 1st and explaine your request.

Jewish clergy wife here.

There are a LOT of topics and questions here!  I am sure we Jewish Brimstoners are all happy to answer any questions as they come up or occur to others -- I'm sure everyone would prefer that to a long essay trying to cover too many things (there are books available for anyone who wants that much information at once).

To respond to the original question (and a lovely question it is), don't worry about trying to learn Hebrew or Yiddish greetings for each holiday.  This time of year, "Happy new year" will do fine, even around Yom Kippur (another poster was correct that you don't wish someone a "happy Yom Kippur" or "Have a nice Yom Kippur"), because Rosh haShana and Yom Kippur go together, referred to as "the high holidays."  So even if it's closer to Yom Kippur, "Happy new year" or "Have a sweet new year" is an appropriate seasonal choice that will be appreciated.  That's all you have to do for your friends.

The other thing that we really appreciate regarding holidays is people being aware of the calendar and trying to avoid scheduling community/school/etc. events and meetings on holidays -- it can put us and our children in awkward or impossible situations.  Look at any basic calendar and it will have the high holidays at least, and possibly the big three festivals, Succot, Passover, and Shavuot.  (Be careful googling for a calendar of Jewish holidays -- a few will have an astonishing number of obscure fast days and minor things that you definitely don't need to worry about.)  It's also polite to avoid calling about business matters, going door to door, etc. on Jewish holidays (don't call at all on holidays or the Sabbath, Friday night through Saturday, if they are observant). 

I hope that helps.

Happy new year! 

Sabbath services should be Friday evenings and Saturday mornings.  Guests are welcome. Well in my area some Synagogues discourage visiors and some ( mine) welcome guests. Call the office to check the time, duration, and dress code.  If we lived closer I would be glad to go with you.  I suggest you wait until after October 3 when the bulk of the High Holidays--busy season--is over.  Friday evnings are shorter and, in my experience less formal.  After any worship service there will be food and beverages.  You are welcome to partake.  Quietly stand up when the entire congregation is asked to stand or turn to the East (Jerusalem) when everyone else does.  No writing, phones, or cameras on Sabbath.  A po;ite greeting is " Good Sabbath" or the Hebrew "Shabbat Shalom"

Doh! I typed all this and then realized that many congregations are not meeting in person due to COVID. YES call 1st and explaine your request.

Also, you might find the services held elsewhere. This time of year, my mom's RC church lends space to the local Jewish community for High Holiday services. I guess all religions have people who only show up for the "big" holidays.

"  it did cause some issues because it meant that some people had to work on the originally designated days who might not want to, especially if a department was small"

When I worked retail I always, always volunteered to work December 24 & 26 so someone else could enjoy her Holiday. DH worked in a 365 day a year industry and he worked Dec 24--26 for the same reason.  All the Jewish Doctors I know are working or on call Dec 25 to give co-workers their Holiday off.  My Father owned a Pharmacy.  Mom amd us 3 kids worked there Christmas Day so the staff could be home. 

Quote from: STiG on October 05, 2020, 06:07:01 pm

Where I used to work, they took two days that normally everyone got off - not stat holidays but ones that were often observed - and made them 'floating holidays'.  It allowed non-christians to take two days for their high holidays without having to dip into their vacation bank.  I thought it was a good way to handle it but it did cause some issues because it meant that some people had to work on the originally designated days who might not want to, especially if a department was small.

Many, many years ago, before religion and schools were separated, my Dad was teaching the Christmas story to his class.  One mother approached him after school one day and explained to him that their family was Jewish.  Dad was a little worried but this mother told him that she had no issue with her son learning the Christmas story.  But then asked if she and her son could bring in some things and talk about the Jewish traditions at that time of year.  I'm not sure if they spoke about all the high holidays or not.

I think we could all use a primer on all the high points of the major religions. 

My daughter's kindergarten teacher had a great idea.  At the beginning of the school year she figured out the ethnic and religious background of each student in the class.  In December she'd invite a Jewish mom or dad to give a lesson on Hanukkah, and they'd have a party. Another day she'd have an African-American mom talk about Kwanzaa, and they'd have a party.   My daughter's friend's mom was  an immigrant from China, and her lesson was on the Lunar New Year. So when the class had a Christmas party, she'd do a lesson on Christmas traditions from around the world.  All of the children felt included.

But why did she have the Jewish family present on Chanukah?  It's such a minor holiday on the Jewish calendar.  If they really care about honoring the culture of each student, they should choose a holiday that is important to that culture, not the one that comes closest to Christmas on the calendar. 

Quote from: Songbird on October 06, 2020, 04:01:02 pm

Quote from: STiG on October 05, 2020, 06:07:01 pm

Where I used to work, they took two days that normally everyone got off - not stat holidays but ones that were often observed - and made them 'floating holidays'.  It allowed non-christians to take two days for their high holidays without having to dip into their vacation bank.  I thought it was a good way to handle it but it did cause some issues because it meant that some people had to work on the originally designated days who might not want to, especially if a department was small.

Many, many years ago, before religion and schools were separated, my Dad was teaching the Christmas story to his class.  One mother approached him after school one day and explained to him that their family was Jewish.  Dad was a little worried but this mother told him that she had no issue with her son learning the Christmas story.  But then asked if she and her son could bring in some things and talk about the Jewish traditions at that time of year.  I'm not sure if they spoke about all the high holidays or not.

I think we could all use a primer on all the high points of the major religions. 

My daughter's kindergarten teacher had a great idea.  At the beginning of the school year she figured out the ethnic and religious background of each student in the class.  In December she'd invite a Jewish mom or dad to give a lesson on Hanukkah, and they'd have a party. Another day she'd have an African-American mom talk about Kwanzaa, and they'd have a party.   My daughter's friend's mom was  an immigrant from China, and her lesson was on the Lunar New Year. So when the class had a Christmas party, she'd do a lesson on Christmas traditions from around the world.  All of the children felt included.

But why did she have the Jewish family present on Chanukah?  It's such a minor holiday on the Jewish calendar.  If they really care about honoring the culture of each student, they should choose a holiday that is important to that culture, not the one that comes closest to Christmas on the calendar.

Agreed. Passover or Rosh Hashanah would be much better options. Though it looks like the teacher only did this in December, which also leaves out Muslim and Hindu kids.

Here is my annual plea: PLEASE DO NOT PUT UP A MENORAH IF YOU'RE NOT JEWISH. It is not a decoration. It is a symbol of the fight against assimilation. And if you're not Jewish, and you do this, you are appropriating my religion. Please, please, don't do it! If you want to be sensitive to your Jewish friends and coworkers this time of year, then wish them a Happy Hanukkah between 12/10 and 12/18. And maybe don't drown the office in Christmas music/decorations. Even those of us who like the stuff get tired of how it takes over everything.