This is all "after the fact", as I didn't get a chance to post it before Christmas, but I'm curious to see what you think of it.
My co-worker "John" has an 18 year old daughter ("Jessica"). Jessica still lives at home, and has just finished her first year of university. She also has a boyfriend who she met at uni - her first serious relationship. Jessica does not contribute to the mortgage or household bills, but does some chores and pays for her own stuff like phone, petrol, textbooks, etc.
For reasons I won't go into, John, his wife and kids (Jessica and her younger brother) do not visit with relatives on Christmas Day. Instead, their celebrations are fairly intimate and low key. Church in the morning, then home to exchange gifts. Lunch is cold roast meats and salad, followed by trifle. In the afternoon they watch a movie together or play a board game. Then in the evening they might go for a walk around the neighbourhood to see the Christmas lights.
However, a few weeks before Christmas 2018, Jessica announced her intention to spend Christmas Day with her friends from uni and her boyfriend - they all had plans to rent a holiday house by the beach and spend a week or so there. (Note, it's summer in Australia now, so definitely beach weather!).
John was pretty upset and hurt over this. To be clear, he had no objection to Jessica spending time at the beach with her friends, but felt she should do this either before or after Christmas - and that Christmas Day should be reserved for family. He asked what everyone thought.
The office was fairly divided over this. Some co-workers sided with John, and thought that Jessica was being rather rude and ungrateful to ditch her family on Christmas Day to hang with her mates and boyfriend of less than a year. One or two people even suggested that as Jessica is still largely dependent on her parents, she needs to basically do as she's told, and spend Christmas Day with her family.
Other people took the view: "Sorry John, but at age 18, Christmas at the beach with your friends and boyfriend is infinitely more fun than spending it with Mummy, Daddy, and Little Brother in suburbia. She's only young once. Let her go, etc".
What do you all think? Was Jessica rude? What could (or should) John have done to address to situation?