Bad Manners and Brimstone
General Etiquette => The Work Day => Topic started by: spunkyboy08 on January 10, 2020, 09:06:41 pm
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How do you deal with a hypocritical co-worker who 1) wants to have their cake and eat it too, 2) is self-serving, 3) combative and 4) defensive?
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Quick answer is that you don’t. The more detailed answer is to be polite and business like when you absolutely have to deal with this person and the less that person knows about you and yours, the better.
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Present the Smooth Glass Wall. S/he will be puzzled to find a way to attack it, or defend herself against it. (Difficult to get any cake out of it either, whether for having or eating!)
As for the hypocrisy and self-serving; that's a problem only for her, and for people who either have some emotional investment in her or allow themselves to be riled by her. Don't let yourself be one of them.
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We may need more details like how or if the coworker affects you or your work. I'm afraid your description is too vague to determine if they are just annoying or actually causing serious harm.
But basically, you should avoid them and concentrate on your own work. Act distant yet professional if you need to interact with them. Document if they are damaging or sabotaging part of your work. That includes not doing their part of the project which can delay your own work. It's a good idea to document your own work too so they can't take credit.
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I have to agree with Rose Red. I think I could give better advice if I had some specific examples of what this coworker does.
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We need more details...
Also read AskAManager.org for great tips on dealing with co-workers.
e.g. https://www.askamanager.org/2015/10/my-constantly-awol-boss-holds-me-to-a-higher-standard-than-she-holds-herself-to.html
You can talk to your boss...."Boss, I am wondering if you could give me some tips on how to deal with Chris. They said they would lead the TPS Report project, but I have asked them for a schedule and a list of goals and they brushed me off. How would you suggest I handle it?"
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I have to agree with Rose Red. I think I could give better advice if I had some specific examples of what this coworker does.
Also, this isn't your first thread you've started where the topic you asked for advice on was so vague no one could help...
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I have to agree with Rose Red. I think I could give better advice if I had some specific examples of what this coworker does.
I think that this group loves to help and we like aiming our thoughts to specific situations. But I also understand the need to not want to give away too much.
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I have to agree with Rose Red. I think I could give better advice if I had some specific examples of what this coworker does.
I think that this group loves to help and we like aiming our thoughts to specific situations. But I also understand the need to not want to give away too much.
That's true, but I do think that we need some examples, even if they're very general. Advice like this usually is either "mind your own business and engage with them as little as possible" or "tell your manager that your coworker's actions are affecting your own work in X Y Z ways," but at this point we don't know enough about it.
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How do you deal with a hypocritical co-worker who 1) wants to have their cake and eat it too, 2) is self-serving, 3) combative and 4) defensive?
I'm confused. This coworker doesn't criticize enough? Or do you mean "hypercritical"?
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How do you deal with a hypocritical co-worker who 1) wants to have their cake and eat it too, 2) is self-serving, 3) combative and 4) defensive?
I'm confused. This coworker doesn't criticize enough? Or do you mean "hypercritical"?
"Hypocritical" means that a person pretends to have certain beliefs, attitudes or feelings when they really do not. The "hypo" part isn't meant to be the opposite of "hyper."
An example of a hypocrite is a person who says they care about the environment, but are constantly littering. (Definition/example taken from yourdictionary.com).
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How do you deal with a hypocritical co-worker who 1) wants to have their cake and eat it too, 2) is self-serving, 3) combative and 4) defensive?
I'm confused. This coworker doesn't criticize enough? Or do you mean "hypercritical"?
"Hypocritical" means that a person pretends to have certain beliefs, attitudes or feelings when they really do not. The "hypo" part isn't meant to be the opposite of "hyper."
An example of a hypocrite is a person who says they care about the environment, but are constantly littering. (Definition/example taken from yourdictionary.com).
Good heavens! Thank you. I must have left my brain at home today.
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I have to agree with Rose Red. I think I could give better advice if I had some specific examples of what this coworker does.
I think that this group loves to help and we like aiming our thoughts to specific situations. But I also understand the need to not want to give away too much.
Very true, but it is difficult to give advice when dealing with, say: wants to have their cake and eat it too. Now since this is really a metaphor, it is hard to give concrete advice. Are we talking about someone who criticizes others for doing the same exact this the coworker is doing? (In which case, my advice might be to ignore them - or at least try). Or is the coworker attempting to get other employees in trouble for the same actions the coworker does? (I might advise approaching a manager, or banding with other workers to approach the manager).
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Is this the same OP who had a coworker at a grocery store who was a bagger and wasn't doing things correctly/being annoying etc?
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OP has also posted about another cashier and also about a supervisor/manager at the store