Bad Manners and Brimstone

General Etiquette => Etiquette Phrases and Tactics => Topic started by: Marisa on May 28, 2018, 03:56:45 am


Title: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: Marisa on May 28, 2018, 03:56:45 am
When is it appropriate to use the CD?  In what kinds of situations have you used it?  Comment in this thread!
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: kckgirl on May 28, 2018, 07:57:30 am
I have never needed to use a cut direct, but when looking for a clear definition, because some people use "cut direct" when they really mean "cut off," I found a web site I've never heard of and might really like. A cut direct is a single incident in public, while a cut off is often permanent and many people wouldn't even know it happened.


Easily understandable cut direct definition: https://uncommon-courtesy.com/2014/10/01/the-cut-direct-the-fiercest-etiquette-punishment/


Cut off: Cutting contact with a friend or relative who has done something to harm the relationship beyond repair.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: Pattycake on May 28, 2018, 09:10:24 am
I have never needed to use a cut direct, but when looking for a clear definition, because some people use "cut direct" when they really mean "cut off," I found a web site I've never heard of and might really like. A cut direct is a single incident in public, while a cut off is often permanent and many people wouldn't even know it happened.


Easily understandable cut direct definition: https://uncommon-courtesy.com/2014/10/01/the-cut-direct-the-fiercest-etiquette-punishment/


Cut off: Cutting contact with a friend or relative who has done something to harm the relationship beyond repair.

That is so interesting because I always thought people were using that term incorrectly! It is what it says - a very pointed cutting of someone in public so people know. When people have used that term, they've been saying things like you should avoid the person, don't make others uncomfortable etc, but that's not what it was meant to be. Other people were meant to know you were cutting that person off socially, in no uncertain terms.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: cattlekid on May 28, 2018, 09:14:32 am
Ack, then I used this term incorrectly on an earlier post.  My apologies.  I was looking for the term to use when we ceased speaking with someone, not necessarily a public display.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: VorFemme on May 28, 2018, 12:51:12 pm
The CD can only be applied in person - the person being cut is not reacted to - they are socially invisible & imperceptible - they don't exist in your universe at all. 

I wouldn't plan to go to a wedding where either one of the HC was someone that I was applying the CD to...in fact, I might not plan on going to any event that I knew that that person would be attending.  I'd have other plans or couldn't get off work, if it was a social event that I didn't mind missing out on...if I did go, I'd have worked out avoidance strategies ahead of time.  If they turn up unexpectedly - well, its the nuclear option because you really screen out their existence and do not notice them at all, interact with them at all, or try to avoid them - you just don't see them and it will quickly become something that anyone but Captain Obvious would notice.  They might still ignore it or you might be questioned about why you're not saying anything to CD. 

Be prepared with something to say - not something that will get you sued for libel or slander or arrested for fomenting a riot, I'm not sure what that might be.  It might depend on whether what they did to earn the CD was done in public or in private.   

If I just don't get along with them and am minimizing my interaction with them - whether for three months or for a longer period of time, to see what changes - I might go but would be prepared to do only the most superficial interaction - talk about the weather and try to keep any interaction at a superficial level and the absolute minimum of time.  Possibly with a comment about needing to go see someone else, powder your nose, or other innocous thing you could do that takes you far away from them.

Just don't be rude to the hosts by fomenting a riot at their event.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: Kiwipinball on May 28, 2018, 01:03:31 pm
Yeah, the cut direct is pretty extreme (but could be warranted). It's where you're clear you saw the person and are refusing to interact. So if I've decided to CD Sally, it might look like I make eye contact with her and turn away without acknowledging her or if Sally came to speak to me and I turned away. Quite obvious and pretty awkward for others nearby, so IMO should be used sparingly and not sought out (like VorFemme said if someone wronged you that badly, try to avoid them in the first place).

The cut indirect is much less obvious. Probably many of us have done this. It's where you pretend not to see someone. So if Sally waves to me across the street and I duck into a store. The main different is plausible deniability.

Cutting off is refusing to have contact with someone. Sometimes cutting off could lead to the cut direct or cut indirect (if people are forced together/run into each other) but some people can manage some superficial level of contact if that happens. Depends on a lot of factors.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: Tea Drinker on May 28, 2018, 03:49:58 pm
I've used parts of the Internet where it was possible to give someone the cut direct. On Usenet (which consisted of "newsgroups" devoted to all sorts of topics, things like the Red Sox or specific programming languages, and  threaded discussions of specific topics like last night's game or a particular programming question), people read and posted with software that included "killfiles." I could killfile a specific poster (if I found them tedious or offensive) or subject (if I cared about the Red Sox but not about the food served in Fenway Park).

That was silent, and could be turned off as quickly as on (if I decided that yes, I did care about hot dogs). However, it was entirely possible to make a post that said "$So-and-so, that was offensive. I'm kill-filing you," which became known as "plonking." and then put their posts in your killfile. Replying to something either by saying you weren't talking to someone (and why) or just with "plonk" was telling them and everyone else "I will have nothing further to do with him." It was considered very bad form to publicly killfile someone and then address them further; if Joe Schmoe is dead to me, I shouldn't get up and say "hey, world, I'm not talking to Joe, but my friend quoted this thing he said, and here's why he's wrong."

Like an in-person cut direct, plonking someone didn't mean the person who announced they had killfiled someone expected their friends to follow suit. I might look past someone at an event, even (in 19th century form) say "sir, I do not know you" before turning away, but that doesn't mean our mutual friends will stop talking to them. It does mean I'm telling everyone that I am that upset--which has the risk that some people will think that Joe Schmoe did nothing wrong, or that I'm overreacting, and act accordingly.

I've seen software that tries to reproduce killfiles on certain forum software, but it doesn't seem to have caught on.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: Pandorica on May 28, 2018, 04:26:17 pm
That was one of the features I liked at Delphi -- you could put someone on ignore and their posts would be hidden, but you could stlll click on them to read them if you felt like it.  Not quite as drastic as blocking someone. 
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: Pattycake on May 28, 2018, 05:11:38 pm
That was one of the features I liked at Delphi -- you could put someone on ignore and their posts would be hidden, but you could stlll click on them to read them if you felt like it.  Not quite as drastic as blocking someone.

That actually is possible here but doesn't seem to be turned on. I am on another forum on create-a-forum where it is on, and it's exactly like that. It would be nice if it could be done here, then folks wouldn't have to read posts from people who may irritate them into saying things better left unsaid!
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: JacklynHyde on May 29, 2018, 01:51:36 pm
I've never done more than the cut-indirect, and that was to a cousin who deserves the full cut, if not much worse. However, I was very big on sparing the feelings of my grandparents who had to deal with both of us, so I maintained a polite aloofness during interactions as well as no contact online. Now that they are both gone, most of my need to keep the peace is gone, so we shall see what happens if I need to deal with this cousin in person again.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: HenrysMom on May 29, 2018, 02:12:54 pm
I’ve done the cut direct only in two cases.  Once to someone who publicly and shamelessly threw me under the bus, then tried to do the “but we’re friends” routine.  The other was my not-soon-enough-to-be-ExH, whose behavior before the split and even now warrants being “sent to Coventry.”
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: nuit93 on May 29, 2018, 08:26:18 pm
I had an ex that would still tag me in posts about "people he still cared about", stuff like that.  Would also comment on pictures I posted of myself in a complementary manner that still made me uncomfortable.  I ended up unfriending him on FB back in January.  If he pushes back and asks about it (I doubt he'd notice) I'll probably block him but so far he's behaved.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: peony on May 30, 2018, 10:47:50 pm
"That is so interesting because I always thought people were using that term incorrectly! It is what it says - a very pointed cutting of someone in public so people know. When people have used that term, they've been saying things like you should avoid the person, don't make others uncomfortable etc, but that's not what it was meant to be. Other people were meant to know you were cutting that person off socially, in no uncertain terms."

I always thought the cut direct was chiefly a private thing, only obvious to the person you are cutting, and if you are in a public setting you should quietly turn away if you see them approaching, thus not making others uncomfortable. I never thought it was supposed to make a public statement althought it certainly could, if someone had done something so beyond the pale of human society that any normal person should avoid them forever.

edited because I messed up the quote function.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: Marisa on June 05, 2018, 03:03:43 am
I've only had to CD someone twice--and both times, it was in situations where I'd already given the person more chances to act like a civil human being toward me than I should have.  I've given people third, fourth, and fifth chances when two would be enough. 

That said, I'm more likely just to "cut off" rather than "cut direct."  Avoiding the person altogether, in a city of more than 600,000 people, is much easier and less stressful for me.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: Venus193 on June 05, 2018, 06:37:33 am
I apply the cut direct to someone I removed from my Meetup group but who belongs to one I belong to but don't own.  The organizer of that group told him to stay away from me but at the most recent event he came to he tried to get my attention.  I turned around and began talking to someone else.

This is someone who has creeped out others as well.  The problem is that if he were removed from that group he might still turn up because he is on a lot of the same classical music mailing lists.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: Aleko on June 06, 2018, 03:30:06 am
I have give the Cut Direct just once in my life. It was at a multi-period battle reenactment festival; I was strolling around checking out the Athenian hoplites, the 15th-century artillery and the Crimean lancers, when suddenly I realised the next group was a bunch of Waffen-SS. I was revolted. I can cope with people re-enacting WWII Wehrmacht, but SS . . . no. Just no. It doesn't make any difference to me whether they are Nazi sympathisers in reality or just enjoy it as a fantasy; either way I can't be doing with it.

So, I had quickened my pace to get past them ASAP, when I realised that one of these guys was hailing me by name. I looked and realised that I did know him slightly from Napoleonic-period reenactment. I just said 'I don't know you. I don't want to know you.' and kept going.

This was a wholly instinctive reaction: I hadn't time to think how best to handle the situation. But I still think it actually was the best. No way was I going to greet and chat to someone in that uniform, and there was absolutely no point stopping to spell that out, because, frankly, if you need to ask why people shun you when you're dressed as an SS man, you aren't going to understand or accept the answer! And if he had attempted to justify or explain his hobby (and from my small acquaintance with him, he was the I'm-always-right type who probably would), I would have said or done something a great deal less civil, quite possibly something actionable in law.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: guest426 on June 06, 2018, 08:43:50 am
I've given the CD to one person (on several occasions, since we happen to be related, and nothing she can ever say or do will improve my opinion of her).

The reason: She referred to my nephew as "that little half ni**er."
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: Bada on June 06, 2018, 08:47:57 am
I've given the CD to one person (on several occasions, since we happen to be related, and nothing she can ever say or do will improve my opinion of her).

The reason: She referred to my nephew as "that little half ni**er."

I wanted to rate this one "sad", since its the closest rating that applies. I think that anyone would name-call a child something awful is just really sad and mean. But then I was afraid it would be misinterpreted that I'm sad you cut the cousin off.

Am I over thinking these ratings?
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: Victoria on July 03, 2018, 12:17:40 pm
I've given the CD to one person (on several occasions, since we happen to be related, and nothing she can ever say or do will improve my opinion of her).

The reason: She referred to my nephew as "that little half ni**er."

I wanted to rate this one "sad", since its the closest rating that applies. I think that anyone would name-call a child something awful is just really sad and mean. But then I was afraid it would be misinterpreted that I'm sad you cut the cousin off.

Am I over thinking these ratings?

I overthink them as well so I don't really use them. Because really any of them could be seen as referring to one of two options. For example, I'll never use "dumb" because I'm afraid it'll look like I think the poster is dumb rather than the situation/person in the post.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: Elisabunny on July 04, 2018, 09:18:35 am
I've given the CD to one person (on several occasions, since we happen to be related, and nothing she can ever say or do will improve my opinion of her).

The reason: She referred to my nephew as "that little half ni**er."

I wanted to rate this one "sad", since its the closest rating that applies. I think that anyone would name-call a child something awful is just really sad and mean. But then I was afraid it would be misinterpreted that I'm sad you cut the cousin off.

Am I over thinking these ratings?

I overthink them as well so I don't really use them. Because really any of them could be seen as referring to one of two options. For example, I'll never use "dumb" because I'm afraid it'll look like I think the poster is dumb rather than the situation/person in the post.

In this case, actually replying would be better because then you could just post the angry face.  Then the rest of us could agree with you.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: MOM21SON on July 06, 2018, 12:15:33 am
Now I'm confused.  I have told people that my sister gave me the cut direct via FB messenger.  So this is not a proper term.  It really doesn't matter, just curious.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: Hmmm on July 06, 2018, 09:44:40 am
Now I'm confused.  I have told people that my sister gave me the cut direct via FB messenger.  So this is not a proper term.  It really doesn't matter, just curious.

No, you can not issue a cut direct via FB Messenger. Even if it was a group text and your sister responded to other's messages but not yours, that could be interpreted as an oversight or just not having input to your question or comment.

A cut direct is in person and done in such a way that other's know and witness that you have chosen to pretend the offending party does not exist.

It was always a pet peeve of mine on ehell when people used the term to mean cutting someone off.

I've only done it once in my early 20's and really didn't know there was a formal term for it. It was a situation at an event for an old HS friend. I was standing with a group of people when a friend's father approached the group and greeted me. I had learned some very disturbing information about him. I just turned to someone else and said "I see Laurie and want to go say hi". He tried to approach me one more time and again I walked away without speaking to him. Yes, questions and rumors started about why I was refusing to speak to him. It wasn't for several months later that people understood.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: IceBear on July 06, 2018, 10:23:07 am
I've had it done to me by a relative because he had a brain fart. We had a disagreement via email (never a good idea) but we'd gone out for supper and apologized to each other and all was good. Then the next time we ran into this relative in public, he talked to literally everyone but me, even when I smiled and waved. It was very painful. When I contacted him to ask him why he did that, he said it was because I hadn't apologized for the argument we'd had. I reminded him of the supper conversation and he grudgingly agreed it happened.

I've since cut off all contact with that relative because I couldn't handle the drama. If I saw him in public I'd still acknowledge him though!

The only people I'd give the cut direct to are so heinous that I wouldn't ever associate with them anyway, and if I saw them in public I'd head the other way.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: VorFemme on July 06, 2018, 10:37:04 am
Off the top of my head, I could only name two people that I'd CD at the moment.  One is a former friend of VorGuy's who showed his true colors as a narcissistic mooch (among other things) and we have not heard from him or about them in roughly thirty years.  The second was the ex-husband of one of my oldest friends (she's now deceased) and their marriage fell apart when he showed his true colors in the early 1990s (I don't remember the exact date). 
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: Hanna on July 06, 2018, 09:21:56 pm
I did it years ago to a woman who was blatantly chasing after my long-term boyfriend. I’d never met her but had ample evidence.  He seemed too dumb to get what was going on. Or maybe he knew. I’m sure he liked the attention.

Anyway, we ran into her at a local church fair (not our church or hers) and he tried to introduce me. I took one look at her, made full eye contact and said, “huh.”  Then just walked away.

He asked me later why I acted like that. He’d never seen me be rude to a soul. I said “Oh she knows what she’s up to, even if you don’t get it and I didn’t feel like pretending that I don’t know, too.”

Still can’t believe I did that. I was proud of myself though. Girl was trying to make a fool of me.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: MOM21SON on July 06, 2018, 10:47:59 pm
Now I'm confused.  I have told people that my sister gave me the cut direct via FB messenger.  So this is not a proper term.  It really doesn't matter, just curious.

No, you can not issue a cut direct via FB Messenger. Even if it was a group text and your sister responded to other's messages but not yours, that could be interpreted as an oversight or just not having input to your question or comment.

A cut direct is in person and done in such a way that other's know and witness that you have chosen to pretend the offending party does not exist.

It was always a pet peeve of mine on ehell when people used the term to mean cutting someone off.

I've only done it once in my early 20's and really didn't know there was a formal term for it. It was a situation at an event for an old HS friend. I was standing with a group of people when a friend's father approached the group and greeted me. I had learned some very disturbing information about him. I just turned to someone else and said "I see Laurie and want to go say hi". He tried to approach me one more time and again I walked away without speaking to him. Yes, questions and rumors started about why I was refusing to speak to him. It wasn't for several months later that people understood.

Thanks!  Well if I ever see her again, I'll be sure to give her the proper cut direct!  lol.  Never been happier!
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: TootsNYC on July 10, 2018, 12:43:29 pm
"That is so interesting because I always thought people were using that term incorrectly! It is what it says - a very pointed cutting of someone in public so people know. When people have used that term, they've been saying things like you should avoid the person, don't make others uncomfortable etc, but that's not what it was meant to be. Other people were meant to know you were cutting that person off socially, in no uncertain terms."

I always thought the cut direct was chiefly a private thing, only obvious to the person you are cutting, and if you are in a public setting you should quietly turn away if you see them approaching, thus not making others uncomfortable. I never thought it was supposed to make a public statement althought it certainly could, if someone had done something so beyond the pale of human society that any normal person should avoid them forever.


That is the cut indirect.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: Chez Miriam on July 13, 2018, 01:17:54 pm
"That is so interesting because I always thought people were using that term incorrectly! It is what it says - a very pointed cutting of someone in public so people know. When people have used that term, they've been saying things like you should avoid the person, don't make others uncomfortable etc, but that's not what it was meant to be. Other people were meant to know you were cutting that person off socially, in no uncertain terms."

I always thought the cut direct was chiefly a private thing, only obvious to the person you are cutting, and if you are in a public setting you should quietly turn away if you see them approaching, thus not making others uncomfortable. I never thought it was supposed to make a public statement althought it certainly could, if someone had done something so beyond the pale of human society that any normal person should avoid them forever.


That is the cut indirect.

I don't like drama, so am much more likely to use the cut indirect.  My preference is for cutting off: by the time enough egregious examples have accumulated, I'm likely so mad there is no room for that person in my life.

One person whom I cut off and then made up with (several years later), is heading straight for low contact at the moment.  That's another option to the nuclear one. ;)
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: peony on July 13, 2018, 08:44:06 pm
"That is so interesting because I always thought people were using that term incorrectly! It is what it says - a very pointed cutting of someone in public so people know. When people have used that term, they've been saying things like you should avoid the person, don't make others uncomfortable etc, but that's not what it was meant to be. Other people were meant to know you were cutting that person off socially, in no uncertain terms."

I always thought the cut direct was chiefly a private thing, only obvious to the person you are cutting, and if you are in a public setting you should quietly turn away if you see them approaching, thus not making others uncomfortable. I never thought it was supposed to make a public statement althought it certainly could, if someone had done something so beyond the pale of human society that any normal person should avoid them forever.


That is the cut indirect.

You sent me scurrying to google, where I found this on the Regency Blog:
 (1) The cut direct is to stare an acquaintance in the face and pretend not to know him.     
   (2) The cut indirect, to look another way, and pretend not to see him.     
   (3) The cut sublime, to admire the top of some tall edifice or the clouds of heaven till the person cut has passed by.     
   (4) The cut infernal, to stoop and adjust your boots till the party has gone past.

I love that there are different names for where you look as you make the cut.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: Despedina on July 25, 2018, 01:38:52 pm
I had to comment after seeing something in one of my shows last night. I've been watching the "Victoria" series on Masterpiece Theater with Jenna Coleman. Its about the beginning years of Queen Victoria's reign. In one scene it is assumed that Victoria's uncle has put a "hit" out on his niece to gain the throne. As he walks into a room, all the men there stopped talking and made a big show of turning their backs and facing the other direction in silence. He approached the man at the end of the room, and exclaimed "Can you believe that? They just gave me the Cut Direct!"   Now I will forever imagine this is how you should do it lol.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: holly firestorm on September 08, 2020, 05:37:05 pm
I've given the CD to one person (on several occasions, since we happen to be related, and nothing she can ever say or do will improve my opinion of her).

The reason: She referred to my nephew as "that little half ni**er."

I wanted to rate this one "sad", since its the closest rating that applies. I think that anyone would name-call a child something awful is just really sad and mean. But then I was afraid it would be misinterpreted that I'm sad you cut the cousin off.

Am I over thinking these ratings?

I was looking for the  :o emoji when I read it. 
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: Dazi on September 08, 2020, 05:44:40 pm
I've given the CD to one person (on several occasions, since we happen to be related, and nothing she can ever say or do will improve my opinion of her).

The reason: She referred to my nephew as "that little half ni**er."

I wanted to rate this one "sad", since its the closest rating that applies. I think that anyone would name-call a child something awful is just really sad and mean. But then I was afraid it would be misinterpreted that I'm sad you cut the cousin off.

Am I over thinking these ratings?

I was looking for the  :o emoji when I read it.

I'm not a violent person, but lordy, I'd have to stifle the urge to punch that woman right in the face.

My nephew is biracial and there's no way in hell I'd stay quiet if someone said that about him. It would be loud and very public.  >:( >:( >:(
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: Mrs Rat on September 08, 2020, 10:54:59 pm
I've given the CD to one person (on several occasions, since we happen to be related, and nothing she can ever say or do will improve my opinion of her).

The reason: She referred to my nephew as "that little half ni**er."

I wanted to rate this one "sad", since its the closest rating that applies. I think that anyone would name-call a child something awful is just really sad and mean. But then I was afraid it would be misinterpreted that I'm sad you cut the cousin off.

Am I over thinking these ratings?

I was looking for the  :o emoji when I read it.

I'm not a violent person, but lordy, I'd have to stifle the urge to punch that woman right in the face.

My nephew is biracial and there's no way in hell I'd stay quiet if someone said that about him. It would be loud and very public.  >:( >:( >:(

My "grandmother" said something similar about her great grand daughter who is half Kiwi half African American - she called her "that black thing" - and here I thought being female was enough to get hate leveled at her from this nasty woman.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: Aleko on September 09, 2020, 02:58:19 am
Quote
My "grandmother" said something similar about her great grand daughter who is half Kiwi half African American - she called her "that black thing" - and here I thought being female was enough to get hate leveled at her from this nasty woman.

Mrs R, that’s truly vile, no question. But you put “grandmother” in quote marks, so is this nasty woman your step-grandmother or something? At least you have the consolation that she’s not your blood relation.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: Mrs Rat on September 09, 2020, 03:20:57 am
Quote
My "grandmother" said something similar about her great grand daughter who is half Kiwi half African American - she called her "that black thing" - and here I thought being female was enough to get hate leveled at her from this nasty woman.

Mrs R, that’s truly vile, no question. But you put “grandmother” in quote marks, so is this nasty woman your step-grandmother or something? At least you have the consolation that she’s not your blood relation.

Unfortunately this vile woman is my father's mother. She was never a grandmother to me hence the quotes. She fell down some concrete steps and hit her head when I was in my late teens and was nice to me for about 3 weeks but it never made up for her calling me a fat lazy **** to mention just one that sticks with me. I don't consider her my blood relation and being forced to grow up around her has made me a better person - well I like to think it has.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: Venus193 on September 20, 2020, 01:18:58 pm
Mrs Rat, my jaw just hit the floor.  Truly shocking.
Title: Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
Post by: lakey on September 20, 2020, 05:14:40 pm
Quote
Unfortunately this vile woman is my father's mother. She was never a grandmother to me hence the quotes. She fell down some concrete steps and hit her head when I was in my late teens and was nice to me for about 3 weeks but it never made up for her calling me a fat lazy **** to mention just one that sticks with me. I don't consider her my blood relation and being forced to grow up around her has made me a better person - well I like to think it has.

This doesn't surprise me at all. In my experience the people who use racial slurs aren't just bigots, they're nasty human beings in other ways. They're the kind of people you stop associating with because they're just so unpleasant to be around.