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Messages - EtiquetteE

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Life in General / Re: Friend tried to cheer me up-did I do OK?
« on: January 25, 2022, 10:48:47 pm »
First off, I'm so sorry for what you and your family are going through.  Virtual hugs.

That said, I'm sure she meant well.  It's sometimes hard to know how/what comfort to offer for friends/family handling tragedy.  That said, I think that right now, you and DH and your family need to do what's best for you individually as you go through this.  If that means pulling away and surrounding yourselves with those that give you comfort, I think that's reasonable. 

If your friend asks or notices that you have pulled back, you could just tell her, you are focusing on family.  Full stop, no other explanation needed.

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Family and Children / Re: The More the Merrier?
« on: December 23, 2021, 10:07:34 pm »
Situation #1 - horribly rude of the SIL.  Hard no and OK to tell the SIL that no additional guests are welcome under the circumstances. 

Situation #2 - horribly rude of your sister.  She put you on the spot and of course you wouldn't want to tell a child they were not welcome, but I would rethink inviting the sister for future cookie baking.  If you did, it would be completely reasonable to tell her the invite was for her and her daughter only and no additional guests would be welcome.  But after how they behaved, I'd be looking for new people for the cookie tradition.


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The Work Day / Re: Need work advice
« on: December 12, 2021, 09:26:33 pm »
Every time you get paged by a store manager, ask them "would you like me to stay to collect the merchandise to take to the station, or would you like me to leave the merchandise and return to the station immediately?".  Then whatever they tell you, send an e-mail to your supervisor documenting that.  Do that every time.  Put the decision back on them.  If you have a customer complain, tell them that management has said you need to leave to collect merchandise and you are simply doing what you are told is your job. 

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Life in General / Re: Disciplining Other People's Dogs
« on: August 14, 2021, 11:18:46 pm »
I think this is a my house, my rules situation.  If you know you have friends/family houses with badly behaved dogs; don't go.  You can't control what they do/how they train their pets, but you can control what you are willing to do/not do.  I'm allergic to cats and dogs and so I just avoid houses with pets because that's what is best for me. 

There was one case where I was at a brewery where they allowed dogs. I was sitting at a bar and a women let her big husky dog jump up on the person sitting next to me.  This was pre-COVID when seating was close.  I looked at her and said "I'm allergic to dogs, please control your dog".  She apologized and left. I haven't been back to that place since.

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Family and Children / Re: Inlaws dictating wardrobe on family holiday
« on: July 15, 2021, 06:11:51 pm »
Yeah - this is a hard NO.  I'd just tell my DH, in-laws and SIL that I am going to dress to my preferences, not theirs.  If they are uncomfortable with that, they shouldn't participate in our joint family vacations.

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The Work Day / Re: Rides, Recording and Rights
« on: May 07, 2021, 09:43:25 am »
I think you just give this a hard no.  No, I will no give co-worker rides in my personal vehicle.  If you need a way to get her home, call her an Uber. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Remember YOU have rights and it's not part of your "job" to give personal rides after work hours; especially if she's being unsafe.  If she complains to you directly, tell her YOU have rights and it's your right to choose who you do, and do not, want in your personal vehicle. 

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The Work Day / Re: Asking for Assistance After Working Hours
« on: May 07, 2021, 09:37:56 am »
No not rude.  Blocking her puts boundaries firmly in place.  If he wanted to follow up, he could e-mail her (during his working hours) from his work account and let her know that his FB account is intended for personal communications only and he could include the information on how to contact support after hours.

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The Work Day / Re: Rides, Recording and Rights
« on: January 14, 2021, 06:34:16 pm »
Are you getting paid to drive her home?  Are you still on the "clock" when you do this?  Does your company own your car and you use it for company purposes?  If not, then I have no idea why anyone would think your car and your personal time was their right.  This would be a hard no for me. 

"I'm afaraid it won't be possible for me to drive her/you home" would be a good phrase to use in this case. 




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Entertaining and Hospitality / Re: Last Minute Nonsense
« on: December 27, 2020, 05:30:12 pm »
Quote from: lakey on December 27, 2020, 11:41:20 am
This is why, when I do a meal involving a lot of people, I prefer to just provide all the food myself. Involving other people just complicates things. I don't even care about the cost anymore.

This!  It also avoids the scenario where a guest shows up with ingredients and wants to make their contribution in your kitchen.

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Family and Children / Re: Cousin Holiday Drama
« on: December 22, 2020, 08:55:34 pm »
I think Kate and her family should control what they do and the same for her brother and his family.  Everyone needs to make their own choices; and then respect others for making different ones.  Trying to control what other people do will be a no-win situation.

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Life in General / Re: How to tell a friend I don't want to travel with them?
« on: December 22, 2020, 08:00:31 pm »
I just want to add that you should probably tell her sooner rather than later as she seems focused on trip planning, making suggestions for camping recently indicates this is front of mind for her.  The longer you let it go, the more it gives her the impression you are entertaining her different ideas and it will be harder to shut things down.  I'm pretty direct so I'd probably just say something along the lines of "I'm not able to do a girls trip in the fall, but I'd love to do a Spa Day/Lunch/Movie" to celebrate with you.  You don't need to JADE and explain WHY you can't.  You can be kind, but if she gets upset, that's on her, not you.  You can't control how she feels. 

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Life in General / Re: Chub Rub
« on: May 15, 2020, 06:36:55 pm »
Quote from: oogyda on May 15, 2020, 06:20:28 pm
You all do realize that you dont have to do these challenges, don't you?

This x 1000. 

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Life in General / Re: voicemail question
« on: December 15, 2019, 10:27:29 pm »
I don't think you are obligated to respond.  Last year though I got calls for someone else from a Dr's office on multiple issues. A call at least once a day.  I called them and told them; mostly because I wanted to stop getting their messages.

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Weddings / Is it ever OK to wear black to a wedding?
« on: September 23, 2019, 11:36:15 pm »
A friend is getting married in October, here in the northwestern part of the US (where it's already Fall like and cool).  Wedding is indoor/outdoor, starts at 6:30PM.  Is it acceptable to wear black  Or should I choose another color? Also, I should stay away from the same color the bridesmaids are wearing right?


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