Bad Manners and Brimstone

I go to a place where they automatically add a tip to all tables. The server always circles this item and mentions it so people know up front. I always add a bit extra, but I would think it should be the practice that this happens every time an autograt is added.

https://www.uexpress.com/life/miss-manners/2021/06/05

TLDR: someone writes in asking if it's permissible to type a thank you note if their handwriting is illegible. MM's ableist answer is that the letter writer must improve the handwriting. No etiquette pass for something that is "at least partially in your control".  I was so angry just reading that horribly ignorant answer. I am one of the people who she apparently thinks just doesn't put in enough effort. Nope. They made me practice until I was in tears from the painful cramping in my hands, and the writing was still terrible. There are numerous conditions that make legible handwriting impossible. I just hate everything about this letter.

Can we, as a group of etiquette fans, please agree that the important thing is to communicate the thanks as best we can? I suspect this one was written by one of the kids, but whoever it was needs to be fired.

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I have on more than one occasion tried swiping my work badge to  pay for things and waived it in front of doors trying to open them. Yeah, that doesn't work. 🤷🤣

At an old work place, in the ladies' there was a hand sanitizer dispenser next to the door. On more than one occasion I tried to use this to badge myself out of the bathroom.

If she is still arguing that a longer trip would be better, you don't need to JADE her, just tell her it won't be possible for you to accompany her, but if she can't find someone else, you know many people who enjoy travelling solo (it's true, I'm one).

Camping? I don't mean to yuck anyone's yum, but if someone suggested that one to me, I would deploy one of the number of useful responses I keep close for just such an emergency.

• My idea of roughing it is a hotel without a jacuzzi
• When I'm on vacation, I want to relax, not do a bunch of chores
• The last time I went camping, it was made abundantly clear that I am cursed to never camp successfully
• My back needs a bed

Good luck. I understand not wanting to tell her why you don't want to go. Hey, maybe if you made a counter offer that was all about things you want to do that she wouldn't want to do, in a place you want to go that she would hate.

Edited for typo.

Thanks everyone. I suppose in the end they did learn that we didn't feel obliged. It's nice to have the validation that it was off for them to not offer us a meal.

DS is an adult now, and tends to restrict his efforts to those who are willing to make the effort back. I take that as a win.

They weren't married, but yeah. DS's biomom's.

I was on vacation with a friend. When she was off doing something, one of the bartenders referred to her as my mother. I was horrified, and yet strangely pleased (I'm not proud of this), since she's a year younger than me. I corrected him, and I'm sure he made a point to tell the others so no one would make this mistake to her.  I have never told her this happened, and never would, but it did seem odd to assume that 2 women at an all inclusive resort would be mother and daughter instead of friends.