Bad Manners and Brimstone

oh, the same thing happened last year. I can't remember if I said anything to the older lady or not, probably not. The older lady has a summer backyard BBQ for the community every year, I do go to that.

Thanks for posting the bold. I thought I vaguely remembered something very similar in an older post. I had to look at the date to make sure I was reading a new post.

Were there any aftereffects from you not attending last year?

If not, I wouldn't worry about it. I agree that a secondhand invite is not valid.


I like lowspark's response.

His nephew. They contacted him. He wants to do the get-together. So, yes, I say it's on him to make the arrangements.


P.S. I never heard of emotional labor before.

Yes, we did the bring a book thing, but they only received six or seven books. That's okay. They were cute little baby books that couldn't have cost more than $10.

The invitation was worded "Please consider bringing your favorite children's book with a short message . . . "

So it wasn't a demand or even a request, just a thought.

Hi all -- just wanted to let you know how the party went . . . it was awesome!

The party planner at the venue we chose was excellent. She helped me with menu selections, seating/table arrangements, thoughts for games and answered all of my questions in a timely manner.

The guests made comments like "How did you find this place?", "This is an awesome venue!" and oh, so many comments on how delicious the food was.

I do think that having a buffet appetizer table (instead of a sit-down meal) helped in the mingling process of the event.

We had a couple of activities like building blocks that people could decorate (blocks and markers spread across the tables) and "Advice for the new parents" cards. We also had a "Guess how many" jar filled with small pacifiers. All of which people could do whenever during the party.

We planned five games, only played four (including the "Guess how many" game).

I do have an etiquette question following the descriptions, which I'm really curious as to your thoughts.

1 -- Memory Game. Father-to-be wore an apron decorated with baby items. He walked around the room, chatted with guests (he was in his glory ) and showed off the items. After he took off the apron, guests were given a form to fill out. The person (or team) with the most correct items on the form won. Niece and her family won.

2 -- Stick the Binky on the Baby's Mouth. Just like Pin the Tail on the donkey. The very first person (Aunt) who played the game got it spot-on. I was surprised to see the line form of lots of other guests who still wanted to play! They all had fun, but Aunt was the clear winner.

3 -- Don't Say Baby. Wear a clothespin. If someone says the word Baby, take their pin. The person who has the most clothespins at the end of the day wins. Niece had a whole lot of clothes pins. (see below)

4 -- Guess How Many. Aunt was the closest. The next closest guess was one away. (see below)


Etiquette Question -- were we wrong to "fudge" the winners?

Judges being me, DD#1, DHsam and DD#2.

For the Don't Say Baby game -- someone noticed that Niece had a lot of clothespins, so they investigated. Turns out that a lot of guests were just giving Niece their clothespins so that she could win (again). That someone got a bunch of other guests to give their pins to a friend so that Niece wouldn't win again. Sigh. Friend won.

For the Guess How Many -- We gave the prize to the second closest guess.


Etiquette question -- Were we wrong for fudging the prize awards? Giving prizes to four guests instead of the actual winners, which would have been two guests receiving two prizes each? Instead of four different winners?

What do you think?

New thought that I'd like your perspective on . . .

Talking to DD#2 about the invitations, she said we should say something like "In lieu of cards, please bring your favorite childhood book. Write a comment on the book and sign your name."

I told her that it sounded a bit gift-grabby.

She said "No, Mom. It Is A Thing. Lots of people are doing it these days." I guess, as the child grows, the books can be read to them and parents would say "This is from Friend who thought about you even before you were born." or some such thing.

I've been invited to bbshowers where, on the invitation, it said "bring a pack of diapers to be entered into a raffle." type of thing.



I don't know, maybe I'm just not up on the current etiquette. Too old and set in my ways.


What do you think about adding the "bring a book" thing on the invitations?

Thanks, gellchom -- I appreciate all of your thoughts!

So what are you planning to do all that time?

chigger is correct -- Mom2B would like lots of games. Interactive type of games. With people moving around, meeting other guests, instead of staying seated in the same spot for three hours. Even with some games including invited children.

We did change the time to 2-5 p.m. After lunch and before dinner.

Okay, I'll agree that it is more of a social event celebrating the soon birth of a child. Since we won't be opening gifts, we won't mention the word "shower" in the invite (lowsparks wording is perfect).

I understand that some people like the gift opening process (especially with special chosen/crafted gifts). And maybe? If it's done correctly? it might not be a bad thing.

We attended my Niece's baby shower. She had rows of folding chairs set up in her living room. Neice was front and center in her special chair, opening gifts. For three hours. SHE was the star of the show, while we all watched. And that's what it was. No interaction amongst guests, no games, really no fun at all.

From DD#1 . . . PLEASE don't make our shower be like Niece's! DD#1 doesn't want to sit on center stage opening gifts. She'd rather move around and talk to her guests. Thank them for coming, enjoy their company.

It's so funny that whenever I tell someone that I'm going to be a grandma, after congratulations and all that they ask me "What do you want to be called?"

I always thought I'd leave it up to the child to call me whatever they want to.

With my DDs I would have liked for them to call my parents Oma and Opa. But they already had an Oma and Opa (their great grandparents, who were still alive.)

DDs ended up calling their grandparents Grandma and Grandpa. When we (parents) talked about one of their grandparents we used Grandma FirstName.

lowspark -- THANKS! Love the wording for the invite. Huge help!

I'm not a huge fan of games either, but DD#1 said "Balloons, a photo stage and LOTS of games!" was all she asked for. Not everybody needs to participate, and we'll try to make the games a side-show (sprinkled in here and there) if that makes sense.


Hmmm -- I'll bring up the time change to the committee . . . I like the logic behind it. Thanks!


Anybody have any thoughts on games? Please?

Also -- a new question -- there will be six (so far) children attending. Ages 3-8. I thought about having a kiddie area/table with coloring books and stuff to help keep them entertained. Any thoughts on this would be appreciated!