Bad Manners and Brimstone

Bada,

THAT sounds both appalling and fascinating!  That is exactly what happens with Max.  And if true, it would explain a lot.

Jpcher et al:   I spoke with my colleague about the possible transfer of Rex and she told me "No".  She had been assigned  a person for the job Rex would do.  It's a "plum" assignment:  that is, the person taking the job is either a friend of relative of someone in the political stratosphere.  He's MUCH older, retired and "looking for something to do."  I am guessing but would not be surprised to learn that he asked for that library in particular because he lives nearby.  And since it is a political appointment for that particular branch, it's not like he and Rex can trade.  My colleague was also pretty adamant that she already has two prima donnas on her staff and she doesn't need a third needy person. (I did not share that part with Rex.)

Rex was understanding.  He also now says it isn't Max that bothers him.  Now it's "I have a plan in my head for self-improvement and switching venues seems like a good way to do it."  I have no idea how that works, but a lot of Rex's logic is beyond inscrutable.  He spoke on the topic for five minutes and was all over the place.  He asked if he could go to another branch where another former staff member works and I told him I would look into it. 

And I will, but my plan is to tell that colleague "just say no" as they also have a bunch of divas to deal with.  Meanwhile I am looking to find things that are in Rex's wheel house of skills.  He's our official book runner (he can find a book faster than any of us because he knows where they all are) and the patrons love to walk up to him and say "I need--" and Rex is off like a shot.  I'm going to put him on craft cut out detail, too: cutting shapes from construction paper for various projects we share with the kids.  The craft overseer and I usually do this, but arthritis is making it tough for both of us (and she is twenty five years my junior!)

Personally, I suspect Rex's physician is switching up his meds again.  Every time they try him on new and improved medications, he goes pear shaped for a few weeks.  The staff were asking me earlier if "Rex's doctor upped his drugs" because he's been acting so strangely.

Meanwhile, Max, who never asks for a thing, is struggling with city hall over new sick leave policies. (read: city hall is enforcing policies and codes that have been in place forever but were only given lip service.
 But SOMEONE either abused the lip service--again, would not be at ALL surprised--and now everyone who usually crosses their Ts and dots their is has to suffer for it. I can guarantee that whoever got caught being a bad little sick-leave taker got a slap on the wrist and will continue to take advantage.)

Somedays I regret no having children.  Other days, I realize I have half a dozen kids and some of them are my age.   

Any updates?  (inquiring minds want to know )

Oh, if only.  Library staff fall under the umbrella of "city jobs" and as such, we are divided into different unions.  Librarians belong to Group A for "supervisors."  Support staff belong to Union B. There is a third Union designation as well, but I don't know who belongs to that.  Finally, "Department Heads" (which includes, the police chief, fire chief, Library director, etc) are their own group.  My union can't do anything about staff from union B.

And, even if we COULD, the Library Director knows the whole story about Diva.  She has heard the story from me.  She has heard similar stories from the person with whom Diva worked after leaving my branch to work in another.  She has heard about Diva from other staff members.  She KNOWS what kind of a hairpin Diva is.  However, we found out recently that Diva and the Director have worked together in the past.  They both belong to Ethnicity One.  Those who have been tell Director about the problems Diva causes belong to Ethnicity Two. 

In other words, up the creek without a paddle.  However, I think it will only be a short time before Diva starts trouble with one of the other ladies in that department.  They are a group of volatile personalities and I can guarantee that sometime in the future things are going to blow like Mount Vesuvius.  If it happens, I will let you know!!!

Don't remember who said it, but they were right:   we are all the stars of our own dramas.

I'm whining because the accident happened at the end of a bad week and month and year.  But I forget that they might have had something similar happen.  As I think of it, neither of them looked particularly happy with each other at the moment.

Part of my problem is: I want everything to be fine and everyone to be happy.  And I try to follow thru on that.  I'm the crazy woman who pays for the meal of the person behind me in line at McDonald's (which will not be happening for the better part of 2023 as I am determined to save money and lose weight!).  Or, I am the person who will let you go ahead of me if you only have one item.

After a teen hit the back bumper of my old (and very cursed) Honda at a stop sign I had to promise her I wasn't kidding when I said no damage had been done (not a dent in sight) and she should go get a milkshake then go home and relax.  And she was so relieved I wanted to cry for her: first time she had been allowed to take her parents' car out on her own.  She threw her arms around me in one of the most grateful hugs ever.  In another instance, a young man who had just had his car's tires replaced, got into trouble when one of the tires flew off, rolled across  the road and right into my front bumper.  It **** the bumper in a place I couldn't see, but at his behest, I took the car to several places to get an estimate.  All of the mechanics told me the same A) You can drive the car forever and the crack will not cause problems and B) But if you are concerned about the cosmetics, we can fix it for $6000.  I drove that car for fifteen years with a **** bumper I couldn't see and the young man (who had just become a Dad for the first time) donated $100 to my favorite charity because, he said, he had to do SOMETHING. 

I've had other, less fun, interactions--that particular car made me feel like Stephanie Plum, whose cars are always being blown up, crushed or otherwise obliterated.

I guess it is a "me" issue, as I always struggle to treat people the way I want to be treated.  (Okay, most of the time.  There have been a few instances where I considered ripping the other person's head off and drinking their blood ).  Even when I am at the end of a string of horrors, I am usually feeling for the other person and want them to be comfortable.  I forget that not everyone feels that way or that they have their own demons they are fighting.  My demons, over the years, have mellowed me considerably so that, at age 68, I remember how it felt to be a scared teen involved in a first time fender bender.  But not everyone's demons work that way and I need to keep that in mind. 

Have not yet heard from the Chill Couple, so I am guessing all is good.

Thank you all for your kind and thoughtful replies!

P.S.:  Apparently I can use the word "crack" but I cannot use it with an "-ed" on the end of it as that apparently turns it into a back word.

Sorry, gang.  I have been like the headless chicken.  But now I am home for the next week with the 'rona and have time to go thru emails and answer messages.

Oh, things have got waaaay easier with Diva.  First, admin decided they needed everyone with children's background centralized at the main library.  So Diva was being transfered and she was peeved.

Did I ask for her to be transfered?  Because I wasn't upset like I  was when they transfered Other Coworker. So Lily must have wanted her transferred.  I found out she asked all the other staff if she was being transferred because I asked for it.

I had to write up one last evaluation for her in which I waxed eloquent about her abilities and talents. The one negative was that she needs to feel more secure in her abilities as she questions whether she is valued.

Did not like that.  Let me know her last place of business had better, top quality people who would never turn on her.  Etc.

I called the coworker who would now be her boss, and who was terrified of dealing with her, to let her know and sent a description of the conversation to my supervisor who told me she said the same thing to him.

In the meantime, I git a phone call from a local school principal asking about Diva. Is she creative?  On time? Understands tasks as assigned?  I was able to give an enthusiastic yes and they never asked if she played well with others, so I didn't have to answer...and...

A week later, Diva quit.

My coworker is torn.  She needs all the help she can get as her department has been getting along with 2 people, but she also said that Diva was already complaining about one of the other staff and streamlining procedures that didn't need streamlining...etc.

Diva got her new job and we got rid of Diva. 

We couldn't be happier. 

Hi, everyone--and Jpcher, I **** up when I saw your spot on imitation of Jo.

Let me see if I can address some of this quickly:

Amy and Beth, while they have never received emails taking them to task for anything, get frustrated with Jo's need to "have all her ducks in a row".  I once sent her an email telling her she didn't have ducks in a row.  She had squirrels and they were drunk.  And yes, I stole that off the net.  It may or may not matter to folks, but Jo is German and she blames a lot of her control freakishness on her German background.  She's from a part of the country noted for its rather militaristic pride--which we once said explained so much.  Beth, of all people, got so fed up with her one day, she turned around, clicked her heels and saluted with "that" salute.  Jo backed off and said "Well, I suppose I deserved that.  I get bossy."

The four of us were originally equals and three of us NEVER imagined we would EVER be friends with Jo because she was so irritating and bossy when first hired.  After knowing me about a month, she once came at me with scissors.  I had just got a new haircut, an unintentional copy of "The Rachel" with the long curved piece hanging near the jaw.  "This is bothering me," she announced, grabbing for the offending strand.  I stepped back and said "Then don't look at it.  If you cut it, you owe me $50." 

Regards her son: Jo jr. is a very intelligent, funny and witty (and very, very patient) young man whose mother claims he and I must have somehow been separated at birth.  Whenever the four of us get together, I often end up sitting with Jo jr. to discuss the latest happenings in the world of anime and manga, haunted houses and other paranormal things, science fiction and so on.   If the five of us go somewhere, we usually need two cars, so Jo jr. and I drive together so we can talk.  In the past Jo jr. (age 7) used to help me with bulletin boards (with his mother saying "don't complain to me if he messes up!"--we were coloring flowers at the time and he was much neater than I was.)  At age 11, he used to come to my story telling programs (aimed at adults and YAs).  In his twenties, he would come over to take care of my cat if I had to b away.  When I tried to pay him for that service, Jo insisted he return the money because he didn't work that hard.  We don't write or call each other because Jo Jr., despite his wit and intelligence, is painfully shy and doesn't really enjoy communicating much.  Yes, he lives with his mother still.  No, he doesn't have a job.  While Jo rages about this, she has never actually let him be a child when he was a child. Jo Jr. was given a choice of three programs each summer and he had to choose one and stick with it.  So one year he maybe went to art camp for two months, next year maybe he worked at a dude ranch and so on.  He has a degree in literature, is a very good writer (tho you wouldn't think so to listen to his Mom) and is a gentle soul.  His mother is lucky he is home as she is closing in on 80 and has had so many joints replaced she is probably bionic by now.

Regards me and Jo:  Jo and I ran a library branch together for 7 years.  She was my boss by virtue of having been a manager at a prestigious library across the country. During that time she complained constantly because I 'never did any book selection."  This is not true.  I did a TON of book selection, but as I had but 200 dollars to spend, my selection was limited.  I would hand my choices off to Jo--who would discard them and buy what she thought we should have.  Micromanage much?  Similarly, whenever there was a clean up/weeding project to be done, she would apologize to me for not helping me (I was fine with it: I could get done quicker on my own).  Then, when my back was turned, she would go over what I did and change it.  I had to ask permission for ANYTHING I wanted to try.  Usually, she shot me right down.  Our director once asked me to describe our working relationship.  I said "I blow up balloons and Jo sticks pins in them."  And the director, who had had her own run ins with Jo, responded, laughing, with "I should have expected nothing less."

Why do I stay friends with her?  When Jo is not being a micromanaging control freak itch, she can be extremely funny, generous and kind.  When my mother passed away, Jo was one of the first people to console me.  When I needed an operation that would keep me out of work for two months, it was Jo who put together a cute bag of goodies so I wouldn't get bored.  Jo always has cards on hand for every flipping occasion you can name and made it a point to celebrate her staff's birthdays.  (Drove her crazy that three of her staff were Witnesses.)  And because SHE keeps track of all the milestones in your life--on a wall calendar, no less--, well, you should be able to do the same, too.

Jo is indeed aware of her issues, but she is more aware of others' issues.

After this latest email, I happened to speak with Amy (who is finally cancer free: yay!) and she said she noticed I hadn't written much in the last couple of days, so I told her the story and read her one of the letters.  I could hear her shaking her head over the phone.  "If she cannot be in control, she just isn't happy.  And she expects everyone to be just like her!"  Amy went on to say she was getting exhausted trying to come up with something interesting to put in her emails because "I am trapped in the house, in quarantine.  WHAT does she think I am doing that's so interesting?" 

This might explain some of Jo's idiosyncracies.  We all get fed up, but I think, because I am the youngest (I'm two months younger than Amy--who is 68) and because I was once her dogsbody at the library, Jo still sees me as someone who needs to be reined in.  And because her son and I are friends, she also sees me as a child who needs to be disciplined. 

I try to ignore it, because Amy and Beth are important to me. (The three of us live in the same town; Jo has moved about six hundred miles away)  We do get together now and then, leaving an empty chair at the table for Jo.  The four of us used to go on long weekend antiquing trips that usually included a couple of shows and museum visits as well.  And I generally keep my mouth shut. 

In short, I am fond of the Jo who behaves like a sympathetic friend when tragedy or triumph strikes.  But the one who expects the world to measure up to her standards of organization and goodness?  Not so much.

Thank you all.  I seem to be dealing with a moody teenager in a 45-year-old woman's body.  Diva has now decided to speak with her coworkers, but now she's refusing to do any of the really great things she was doing before.  "Oh, I don't want to step on anyone's toes." 

The staff hires happened back in May/June.  Admin took my top support staff member and stationed her elsewhere.  Then they promoted my other top worker (who can also be a poisonous snake) and moved them to the Big Library downtown.  Those two moves I knew about.  What I DIDN'T know was that they were taking my second in command librarian as well.  I found out about that the day it happened.  "Oh, didn't we tell you?"
They replaced him with a low-level support staff member.  Then Prima was promoted (I was in on her interview, and she was head and shoulders above the others who I have known for years) and assigned to my library to replace Top Worker. 

All three new people are absolutely excellent in most ways.  I have known Prima since she was a teenager helping refile books on the shelves, but she comes from what I can only call "a rigid union family" so she is very, very buy the book and will grieve at the drop of a hat.  She is struggling a bit here because my branch is a bit looser and a little more relaxed on some of the draconian rules.  (If you get all your work done and don't insult patrons, sure, go ahead and watch funny cat videos, but don't do it all day and do keep the sound off.)   

Diva was the first of the three hires.  She came on the week before I was going on vacation.  Prima came on the week I was on vacation.  (I had to write to the office and tell them they had promised they would not take staff while I was on vacation and pointed out that they had promised I could GO on vacation this time. So, they left me with Top Worker to take up the slack. Seriously, top tier management just does NOT think.)

Speaking with my supervisor (who doesn't actually work in my branch), I was surprised that he and Big Boss were already making plans to get Diva promoted asap because her skills and abilities are so good that we hate wasting them and her on an entry level position. 

But, as I said, she is behaving like a moody teen.  The woman has three kids and a husband for crying out loud.  She's acting like I did when I was 14 and couldn't get my own way.

Today I asked how a certain project was going.  "Oh, I am not doing that now."  "Why not?" "I don't want to step on anyone's toes." "Uh--I approved that project.  You are going to do it."  "No, I don't want to do it now."  and she smiles sweetly and walked away.  It appears she likes attention and if she isn't getting it--or can't do everything she wants at once, then, by golly, she won't do but the bare minimum.

Evaluations are coming up for the three of them this week.  I'll be talking to Prima about toning it down and trying to talk to Diva about her attitude---I'm not sure how that will go, since she picks apart every word to find some level of mockery or disrespect or hatred.  My staff is, frankly, a little scared of her.  I admit, she reminds me of a late relative whose demeanor terrified everyone: you never knew how he was doing to react and Diva is the same.  What made her laugh yesterday might **** her off today.

And, of course, my supervisor, who promised to help me out with some of this, is MIA. 

We had a meeting this morning and I didn't get the chance to ask about being a well oiled machine because we had to have the meeting during open hours and we were running back and forth to help patrons both in person and on the phone.

11 more months.

Quote from: ZekailleTasker on April 10, 2022, 10:52:36 am

Quote from: lowspark on April 08, 2022, 02:45:01 pm

This post reminds me of a short story, Harrison Bergeron, by Ray Bradbury.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harrison_Bergeron

Oh dang.  I am about to be THAT person.  Harrison Bergeron is a favorite story of mine..and this is an excellent use of it for analogy.  But it was written by Kurt Vonnegut.

Yipes! My bad!!

Nah.  You got to admit, it sure sounds like something Bradbury could have written.  I was surprised it was Vonnegut myself!

Just wanted to say that the issue, if not resolved, has eased up--and morphed a bit.  NOW we have to scan and send to the original person, a whole new account for our side of things AND to the actual boss of the contracted person.  Which was a riot because whoever typed up the new procedure put typos in the new emails and it took several days to convince the person who typed them to fix the typos.  It was emphasized that we only needed to send the scans to the new account and to the contracted person's boss.  Today the office admin emails me and says that I have to send HER the scans as well.  Last week she told me she didn't need to get them any longer.

I have such bad virtual whiplash I may need a neck stabilizer.

While I am the first person to admit that I am less organized than most of the folks on The Office, what goes on at our admin building makes me wonder and roll my eyes.