Bad Manners and Brimstone

As someone with coeliacs - either grill their food first or put fresh foil down and then their food on that foil (don't cover the entire grill to stop air flow)

ASk them for ideas

The things that usually get forgotten - butter (if you've been spreading normal bread toast with it it's contaminated and can't be used), don't cut the salad on a board where you've been cutting gluten before, a lot of dressings and sauces

Don't add salad dressing to the salad - let them be added afterwards when they know it's safe

I don't think you did anything rude BUT I'd find it really weird to have the tables pulled apart when I was already sat there - surely when they sat the other group thats the point where - prior to them sitting down - the restaurant would pull the tables apart, so this weird territorial thing doesn't happen

To me a bridezilla is someone where the wedding becomes the only thing of interest to her and every attempt that someone has to amend it is immediately dismissed out of hand

Admittedly this is a thread about her wedding so she may be talking to you about a hundred other things which you, naturally, aren't mentioning on here so we get a slightly skewed view

But little things that you have mentioned

That Sam is just expected to turn up and wear a tux - sounds like he's not allowed to be part of the planning

Sam mentioned one tradition that he liked the sound of (the cake in the freezer) was met with a 'ew' (though in fairness I'm on her side there)

The bachelorette party being a weekend that she KNOWS you as a family have long standing plans (you've mentioned it for past years) - also shows that to her the build up to her wedding is more important that her sisters birthday or mothers day

You expressed an opinion that didn't meet hers in registries and was dismissed quite rudely (though you did talk it out after so I don't think she's full blown past the point of no return)

Her vision of what you will wear was more important than your comfort (though you seem to have found something that is pleasing to both of you)

She is planning things which she claims her sister is hosting - if she wants her sister to host then she lets go on the planning part otherwise be honest and admit her sister is bank rolling it

Years ago, before my grandmother died, my mother lost a ring her mother had given her (nothing heirloom) so my father brought her a replacement rather than her confess she had lost it.  7 YEARS later  she was pegging out a duvet cover and felt something caught in it.  It was the ring, which had gone through the wash umpteen times, been on their bed and never noticed it

My mother and I now have matching rings

We are in a similar situation (minus the drama) as it's my father's funeral

TBH most people are automatically 'if you need me not to come for numbers let me know' or saying they will come on their own (whereas normally their partner would also come) and several people have said that they can't come due to distance etc (nothing is open and can't have a wake afterwards it's 30 people for the service only) - I suspect his siblings are also thinking of their age and the distance - both in their 80s and don't live near) - I actually find it quite strange that people aren't automatically offering to step back and I'm sure they would if they were told that X was devastated they couldnt come due to lack of room

You could choose to have it streamed online if you wanted (and/or recorded)

When my cousin died in the first wave there were only 12 people allowed - so that was his wife, 4 kids (and son in law), his dad (his mum died the year before) and his two sisters and their husbands - no nieces, nephews, aunts or uncles - and sometimes it's easier to cut even harsher than to make sure the numbers are full, (so step grandchildren - or even all grandchildren under a certain age)

Either delete or respond with a cut and paste 'please see pinned admin rules post for explanation' (or whatever you called it

If they keep complaining PM with a 'either accept the rules of the community or leave said community' - and if they do it again ban them

Though if there are a LOT of unpopularity with the rule you may have to look at if that rule is a right fit for that community

out of interest who formulated this new plan?

If it was her then shes out of line - however I wonder if this plan was more BFSam (possibly including your daughter) and he/they volunteered you for the turkey

One of my friends was told she had to cut her wedding down from 300 (huge families on both sides) to 150...and then 2 weeks before her wedding was told only 50 were allowed. She and her now husband had to call 100 people in their family and close loved ones and tell them they couldn't come in person. And it sucked. I can't imagine the level of stress she and her husband had.

Be grateful she's not in England from today you can only have 15 (down from 30) - though the person conducting the ceremony doesn't count in the 15 (I think the Bridge and Groom do) (I want to say it's 20 in Scotland and 30 in Wales still)

Baptisms and christenings are even smaller - 6 people (not including the vicar - but does include the baby)