Bad Manners and Brimstone

From her subsequent comments she seems to think that if someone doesn't "play along with her" and make her look good they're being difficult.  It's actually her job to make the celebrities feel at ease and draw them out.  Or, at the very least, learn how to take short answers and finesse the overall interview.

Hugh Grant is in the movie Operation Fortune which just had it's theatrical release less than 2 weeks ago.  Maybe she could have asked about that instead of a movie where he just had a cameo.  Her stumbling started in earnest with that.  She seemed to think he should've been excited to be on a set with a bunch of people or something.
 
She was simply the wrong person to send out to do interviews like this. It's not something just anyone can do.

Gee, it's almost like saying "Some days you just have to create your own sunshine."   

I texted the following to the main people: "Our neighbors who own the venue let us know that someone contacted them about bringing dogs on the property. I wanted to make sure that everyone knows that dogs are not allowed on the property, so please do not bring your dogs to the cabin or party." I wanted to make the point that this isn't a typical vendor-customer relationship. Thanks to Jem for the wording!

That's where I think you created drama: By broadcasting that you know someone contacted the venue.

By trying to call out someone.  It just creates more drama.

Not sure what drama you're picking up from my post or replies. In discussing the matter with anonymous people online who I perceive to be more thoughtful than I, I hoped to avoid repercussions because IRL, I have no problem with letting reality smack someone upside the head and can be rather direct.  I especially appreciate Jem's reply and Lula pointing out that they might show up anyway, and I should be prepared. Other POVs helped as well. Isn't that what this board is supposed to be about?

I'm not insulted. More like annoyed, and don't want to say the quiet part out loud about DH's relatives.

No, no--SAY the quiet part out loud. Be honest!  It's better than beating around the bush. It lets people know where you stand.  Honesty doesn't have to be mean.

You accomplish nothing by trying to shame someone who likely isn't going to recognize themselves in the first place, and if they do, they will just complain to others about it, thus multiplying the drama. And people are going to be asking each other--who called the venue? And everyone will have a different opinion about it.

That doesn't serve you.
 
It still leaves you pleading and hiding your displeasure.  A better tack would be "Just a reminder that dogs are not allowed on the property so if you don't have other arrangements, don't bring them. The venue owner is my neighbor and a friend, so please do not call her asking for special accommodations.  Thanks!"

If you want to express your displeasure directly then say "I don't appreciate people going around me and calling the venue, which is owned by my friend and neighbor, to try and get special accommodation for their dog when I have made it clear that dogs cannot be on the property. I am hoping that this will be a special day. Please, no more end runs and no dogs! If you need to talk about your arrangements, please call me directly and we can talk about it. Maybe I can be of assistance."

I have found that people who are crystal clear about where they stand tend to garner more support from others.  A whiff of drama is more likely to repel people who could be useful allies.

JMHO

I wouldn't bother with getting a list of kennels. Most people who travel with their dogs won't put them in a kennel.  I wouldn't.

I don't think you should make such a big deal about someone calling the venue. It just means that someone doesn't trust you; probably not something you want to advertise.

If it were me, I would bring my dog and leave her at my airbnb or hotel room and go back periodically to care for her.  Obviously, I would pick an airbnb or hotel that allowed dogs.

Dogs that travel a lot are typically pretty chill with new environments as long as they know what's expected of them.

I would not leave my dog in someone's garage. Not a chance, especially if other dogs would be there. I would get the best behavior from her if she had her own blankies and pad in front of the TV and I came and tended to her once or twice.

I think you've done enough to say that no dogs are allowed on the venue property at all, no exceptions.  And then just let people take care of it themselves.  Again, that someone called the venue doesn't seem like a big deal to me, just someone who wants to hear it from the horse's mouth, so to speak.  As it is a public venue, even if it is owned by your friend, shouldn't be such a crime.  Some people would, some people wouldn't.

I don't know that I would go to such trouble for a dog. If someone said no dogs at the venue and I needed to travel with my dog, I would just make my own arrangements the same as I would do if I left her at home.

And if someone shows up with their dog to the venue, the venue owners can say, no, not allowed.  And then they have to leave and go do something with their dog.

Since it's the venue's rule and they are completely able to enforce their rules, I don't think the OP should give it another thought.  It's her event.  Presumably if others have such issues with that, they are free to organize their own celebrations and include a ceremonial dog show in the midst of it, if they so desire, or a chicken contest, or ask people to come dressed as dogs.

I would worry about this much more if the venue did allow dogs and there was some other reason for them needing to be kept from attending, like a serious allergy, phobia, or something of the like.  Then it would be up to the OP to have to enforce the rule and that would a lot more sticky.

Sounds like this woman wants your man and wants your friendship as a way to make it seem like there is nothing going on--because if you accept her then everything is normal, right?
 
It sounds like she may have some sort of obsession with him.  "Consort" needs to stop doing  projects with this woman. If he can, he shouldn't have any contact with her at all. Any attention or interaction feeds the obsession. You would be surprised how little contact is needed to feed it. 

It might be a good idea to find another group to do projects with that doesn't involve her. 

Mom: Ah, I see. I would send you gas money to come and visit but it's gonna cost a few hundred for your father and me to redo our wills...

My life just got more difficult to eat anywhere but my own home.

My sensitivity to scents and chemicals, especially chlorinated chemicals, has given me a new sensitivity:  Prewashed produce.  DH and I are trying to eat better and are eating salad almost every day.  My preference is for what is called 'Spring Mix' here - a mixture of a variety of baby lettuces and greens.  The only way to purchase it in grocery stores is prewashed.  I'm guessing that the washing water contains higher than tap water normal levels of chlorine because the inside of my mouth has been irritated.  So now I get to wash the prewashed lettuce!

We've purchased some aerogardens so we can grow our own fresh lettuce year round but I haven't got enough of them up and running yet to give us a continuous supply of lettuce. 

So now, if we eat out at a restaurant, I now have to ask how their lettuce is washed.  We aren't visiting anyone for dinner right now, except DsD and SIL and we usually bring the meal but it may get sticky as things open up again this summer.

Are you certain that it's the prewash? Is it ok if you re-wash it? I've found sometimes they will use some variety of "greens" in the mix that doesn't agree with me. I'm not sensitive to chlorine, but I am sensitive to certain nuts, certain greens and some fruits. I've given up ordering salad at restaurants unless they specify romaine, bibb, arugula or iceberg. Greens just don't do it for me--I end up having to pick things out of it.

I'm just wondering if maybe it's actually one of the greens. I wash all my produce, especially the pre-washed stuff. I feel that their "wash" could inadvertently add some bacteria or other contaminant that I am not used to. I'm used to the water in the my own home so drenching it in that and drying it makes me feel more confident I won't get sick.

One of us thinks he's a jerk for assuming food that is a common allergen gives him carte blanche to make noise.

He's not assuming that.  He has the right to buy a house, tear it down and build a new house or he wouldn't be doing it.  He doesn't need to buy people off with chocolates.

What he is doing is establishing a relationship with his neighbors that fosters communication. It's actually a very smart and polite thing to do.