Bad Manners and Brimstone

I agree with the member who said, cut the hens in half to serve. Keep the other half in case they finish the first half and would like to eat some more...there...at your dinner party.

On the other hand, there have been several times when I've had friends over for dinner who I KNEW were poor. I encouraged them to take leftovers because I knew they kind of needed them. But, that was my decision.

Not only tail on shrimp, but some places serve them with the head on, too. Just make sure they are "de-veined" because that's not a vein. It's their poop shoot.

I presume that those blanks mean the lobster was served with the roe intact. This is also considered a delicacy many places, including among seafood aficionados here in the US. My Dad always used to make it that way. He also used to broil it with a bread stuffing added.
But, if you were having that much trouble dealing with it, you should have asked the waiter/waitress to assist you. They SHOULD be experienced in dealing with this.

You may not have perfect toenails. But, if you're going to go bare toed, they should at least be trimmed and your feet clean.

A train, coming home from Oxford one evening, a very crowded carriage, and a young man going full out on removing his excess nasal hair — with tweezers and a small magnifying mirror.

Thankfully he was sitting at the other side of the aisle in the same row as me, so I could turn away and bury myself in my book to blot out the sight. If I’d been facing him (we were in the middle of the carriage where two rows face each other with a table between them), I do not think I could have been gracious enough to keep silent.

I used to be "friends" with a boy about 30 years old, from a well to do family, too. A group of us were sitting around a table playing a story telling game and he proceeded to dig a finger up his nose and then eat it. I mildly rebuked him for doing so and....he go furious at me for EMBARASSING HIM!

I’m with Rho. If you want to do this thing just go ahead, but explain in the invitation that the location’s official policy is to charge a fee if you go over time, which means that anyone who doesn’t arrive on time won’t be able to do a project and can only watch as the others do theirs, and won’t get their money back (presumably the location will allow latecomers in on that understanding?). You can make the management the Big Bad; they won’t mind! In fact, you might want to tip them off that if you have a latecomer you want to have her let in but absolutely not to participate. Get them on board with this, so there are no wrangles when she turns up as usual “30-45 minutes late”.

Very few people are truly time-blind; they just think being late doesn’t really matter, and people will always make allowances just for little old them. And the range of hoops you have suggested you might be willing to jump through to accommodate her carelessness bears out that they are often right! If you think this pottery evening will be enjoyable, go for it; and let your friend decide whether she’s prepared to make the effort to be on time for once, or alternatively is willing to sit and watch the rest of the girls potting.

Another point: If she does pitch up half an hour late and is told ‘ok, you can come in, but no you can’t do a project’, is she the sort of person who would stamp her little foot and say ‘In that case I’m not coming in and I want my money back’? You need to know the location’s cancellation policy on no-shows/on-the-day cancellations and make sure the group is aware of it as well.

Edited to add:

Quote

If you were having this event would you:

Give her a start time 30-45 minutes before the actual time?

Of all these options, I think this is the worst. Like Jpcher and Jpcher's fellow workers*, you'd only be training her to believe that the stated start/end time of anything is really just fluff, and that she can be massively later than that without missing out on anything. (Indeed, that she positively ought to, because who wants to rush to make a stated time and then simply have to hang about and wait?)


* https://badmanners.createaforum.com/the-work-day/how-do-you-deal-with-upper-management/

I agree except for this line. I'm one of those people who struggles with time management. I think it will take me 1 hour to get ready. Time slips away and it takes more. Or it's always taken 1 hour to get someplace, but this time it took 1 1/2. I struggle with it and try to leave myself extra time because it DOES matter. I've gotten to the point that sometimes I'm actually one of the early arrivers. But, if you want me to meet you before noon...all bets are off. On the other hand, I tell people that in advance. So, they don't feel obliged to include me in anything that starts 8AM.

Quote from: holly firestorm on October 05, 2023, 11:42:49 pm

The only thing he brought was Flossy the Freeloader.
Oh, and I don't know if I mentioned it, but, the sign we worked on together...he used my layout and SOLD four signs with only slight wording changes for another archery range.

WHAAAT?!?! He stole your designs and sold them to a competitor? I take it you didn't get any compensation.

This is not a freeloader. This is a thief.

He should be firmly banned from your club.

He did work on the design, too. And he was the one with the graphic design tools on his computer. Oh, and the latest updates: When we put up the signs he wanted to take my picture with his and the instructor who helped and gave his OK and some money. I said 'no' and explained very thoroughly why I just don't like my picture taken. He tried to insist, but, I stood firm...and the Instructor was there so Keto couldn't take my picture and say otherwise. Now the organization is a Public Archery Range. So, we finally resumed public classes he was there taking pictures, including one pointed directly at me. Now, of course I couldn't protest in the middle of class without making a scene. So, I had to wait until he posted those pictures to ask two of the Instructor/Board Members to have him remove the picture.

Finally, here's what he posted on the group page the next day: "So it looks like our new “Pitch in” signs are working - enough that (name of an instructor active at our range and another) asked me to make a similar sign for (Name of other range).
I like the fact that the archery community helps each other out, regardless of which range you frequent.  I know I’ve spent plenty of time at (other range) and even though I didn’t really have the time to help out, I was happy to “pitch in.”
Thanks to (Our Head Instructor's name) and (my name)  for helping to put together the original sign and for embracing my idea to help solve this issue." Now, again, another manipulation where I can't really post anything on my own without making "a scene" on line. And as I mentioned before his "happy to pitch in" regarding the signs for the other range were something he got paid for. So, I'd like some feedback. Do people in this group think I should bring these misrepresentation about my part in this project to the two Instructor/Board Members I've been talking to about this?

I also learned this: One of our members is a lawyer. The range recently had some legal paperwork to complete and she volunteered her legal services FOR FREE. Keto, who is a stuntman and graphic artist condescendingly told her, "We have it in hand. We don't need your help." She replied to him, probably pretty caustically, because she's sure no shrinking violet, and he told her HE was offended.

I'm coming to the conclusion that this guy is more than a little sleazy and narcissistic. But, he won't get banned from the group for this...he's a real schmoozer and will get away with what he can.

Quote from: holly firestorm on October 03, 2023, 04:55:20 pm

Quote from: Aleko on October 02, 2023, 11:57:30 am

I've just invented a rule that even when bringing food to a party is optional, if you have specific dietary needs it's not optional for you. (Even if there turns out to be someone else with the same restrictions who brought suitable food, you shouldn't go snarfing half of what they brought.)

And when bringing along an uninvited guest, too.

And to reply to a previous comment that if he had informed us before hand about being on his keto diet "he might have had a leg to stand on" I'd say not unless the hosts or another guest promised to bring him something he could eat.

I have a food allergy and don't eat anything at a potluck that I didn't bring or wasn't brought by a trusted friend. I find most reasonable people with dietary restrictions and/ or strong dietary preferences are the same.

The only thing he brought was Flossy the Freeloader.
Oh, and I don't know if I mentioned it, but, the sign we worked on together...he used my layout and SOLD four signs with only slight wording changes for another archery range.