Bad Manners and Brimstone

This might sound nutty but I used to have a cat who was soothed by music. So when I had to drive him anywhere I'd play his playlist.

Also, we'd line his carrier with an old bath towel on top of a puppy pad, which made cleanup pretty easy in case of accidents.

He was also not a big fan of a larger carrier - he was happier in something small and cozy, where he was more comfortable napping. Also, I always attached his carrier to the back seat with the seat belt (it was a soft-sided carrier with a loop in the back that I'd run the belt through), so the carrier wasn't going to move much while driving.

The girls are coming home today. My daughter says they had a great time despite Suzy.

Suzy's behavior got worse as the week went on, and the chaperones started setting consequences for her misbehavior. By the end of the week Suzy had to stay at the house a lot while the other girls were taking small side trips.

As for the troop, this trip was a bit of a farewell for them. The girls are aging out of their current troop. My daughter will be moving on to a Senior troop that doesn't accept all applicants - you need a recommendation to get in. I can't imagine that Suzy will get a recommendation, so we probably don't have to worry about her there.

My daughter Ava's girl scout troop is taking a weeklong beach trip to a site that's a several-hour plane ride from home. The girls have been saving for this trip for years, and they rented a beach house big enough for six girls (13-14 y.o.) and two chaperones. They are visiting various sites and relaxing at the beach for a week.

Ava has been texting me frequently about one of the girls, Suzy, who is annoying everyone on the trip.  Suzy doesn't get along with other kids. She wants to be the center of attention 100% of the time and her favorite attention-seeking strategies are to pick fights with other kids or accuse them of hating her. She once admitted to Ava that she likes to make people angry at her because she's guaranteed to get their attention. She also complains that she feels like none of the scouts like her.

The chaperones are doing their best to help the girls develop strategies to deal with Suzy - generally, walking away from her - but that seems to enrage her and she will stand in the common area screaming about how the girls are "excluding her" by walking away. As the girls get better at not engaging the crazy, Suzy has been starting fights with the chaperones instead.

Ava doesn't like the tension - she wants a calm, relaxing week. But she's stuck in the house with this kid for a few more days. What can I tell my kid about how to enjoy the trip despite Suzy?

That's ridiculous.

Years ago I was on Jeopardy! In the week after my appearance, I was inundated with messages from total strangers on Facebook. I ended up having to block several of them because no, an appearance on a TV show does not mean I want to see you, Mr. Total Stranger, in various states of undress. I guarantee you that I was not dressed provocatively when I was on the show. Some people are just creeps.

Quote from: Runningstar on January 15, 2020, 04:14:51 pm

Quote from: Sheena on January 15, 2020, 12:11:49 pm

I'm kind of torn here.

  It's not that she rejects us, or doesn't like us, but she doesn't see us as related in the same way her children and grandchildren are. So if at a wedding, she requests a "family picture," my brother-in-law's wife and I hold jackets and drinks while my sister-in-law's husband takes the picture. Our feelings aren't hurt because we don't take it personally. Yes, there are pictures of the extended family that includes in-laws, but the "family" shots are just the blood relatives.

That is fine for her - as long as it is fine for you to leave her out of the pictures at your house.

I think anyone can display whatever photos they want in their own homes!!!!

Absolutely. And while etiquette can dictate that married couples are social units, no one can force my mother in law to change her definition of family. She's never questioned the idea that my husband and I are a social unit. She just doesn't see me as part of her family, and that has nothing to do with her feelings for me as a person.

And also HOWEVER, I have had cars that will set off the car alarm if you try to open them with the key, having not "beeped" the car to turn off the car alarm.

My car is that way. If I tried to unlock it with the key, the whole thing starts screaming at me. The beep is a lot more tolerable.

First question is what is a Punchbowl?

Punchbowl is a site that does online invitations - it's a competitor of Evite.

Super frustrating update 

I found out (from listening to Tina's mom complain) that Tina has ADHD and that anger management issues are common in kids with ADHD.

But it turns out that Tina's mom is a bit delusional as well. She thinks that because anger management issues often come with ADHD, Tina should not be disciplined for angry outbursts. She doesn't think she needs to do anything about them, either, because they're "normal."

Tina is close to being expelled from the afterschool activity she and Ava participate in because of her anger. She's been pushing and hitting other kids, throwing things, and yelling at kids and adults. Many of the kids are scared of her and the adults who run the activity are tired of being told that Tina's behavior doesn't need to change but the adults and kids need to adjust their expectations when it comes to Tina. Apparently if they don't like being hit or yelled at, everyone should just go along with whatever Tina wants.

I feel for the kid. I can't imagine it's fun to be so angry all the time and it seems to me that learning some coping strategies would make her life so much easier.