Bad Manners and Brimstone

How do you politely tell someone you don't want to give out your phone number to them? Accidentally transpose two numbers maybe?  When my kids became young adults (early 20s) they basically cut back on contact with my ex and his family.  My son especially.  He did invite a few from the family to his wedding but only one uncle and cousin actually showed up.  I was chatting with his aunt over FB messenger and she told me she wanted to send a gift to son and wanted his address.  He had just bought his first home so no one knew where he lived.  I told her to hang on while I checked to make sure it was ok to give that info out and she was highly offended. I got permission to give it to her but told her she was not to give it out to others.  No gift ever showed up and I haven't heard from her since.  My son has a cousin who tends to visit people and things go missing so he did not want her finding out where he lived.  This is a really hard situation...how do you tell someone you don't want them to have your contact info?

I love that...Time Blind.  My former best friend was like that.  Sometimes you just have to leave without her.    I would just level with her.  The event starts at 6, not 6:15, not 6:30...SIX!  If she is late, she will not be able to participate and she will not get a refund. Then ask her again if she thinks she could manage to be there on time.  Does she really need to be invited to this? She may have to be the type of person that does not get invited to time sensitive events.

My husband does that all the time.  He refuses to 'pick' but then will question what I pick.  If I push it back on him he insists I should decide. Very frustrating because then I am trying to guess what he really wants.

Either go to a place that she has liked in the past or tell her straight up "You didn't like the last three places I picked so either you need to decide or stop complaining".

I used to people watch when my husband and I went out to dinner.  We hated going places where the parents let their kids be loud and obnoxious. I found that the parents that engaged the child  during dinner had the most well behaved kids.  The ones acting out were basically being ignored.  I'm not saying that everything should be kid-centric. But allowing them to feel a part of things would go a long way.

I am sorry to hear about your husband.

So your husband's siblings live 10 HOURS away and you will need them to take her to appointments? How is that going to work without being even more work for you?  Is it possible for your MIL to go to assisted living to take that responsibility off your plate? I have had to manage the life of an elderly parent all while working full time and raising kids.  I couldn't imagine adding a sick spouse into the mix.  There just isn't enough of you to go around.

Had similar issues when I worked.  I worked for local government and often it was all part time people working part time hours. I would get a call and they would tell me that I was the only person who answered my phone (they would call every dept until someone picked up regardless of who they needed to talk to).  All well and good but if you need the zoning officer and I work in a different department there really isn't much I can do for you but take a message and leave it for that person.  They could have left a message directly with that person but felt they HAD to talk to someone.

What exactly do YOU get out of this 'friendship'?  How are you connected to Jo's son that you are required to send him a birthday card and how would she know you did or not?  Are you actually friends with her son? Does he send YOU a card on your birthday?

I'd take a break from this woman. Maybe "apologize" for being such a disappointment to her and tell her you are bowing out of the friendship.  You don't need this guilt. It is a flipping birthday card.