Bad Manners and Brimstone

Is this still a valid request?

I do not ever ask this anymore. With Express "15 items or fewer" type lanes and self-checkout, it seems to me that there are plenty of lanes for those with just a few items.

To clarify, I don't often buy a cartload of groceries anymore nowadays. It's just me and I usually only need a few things. So it would be ME asking, not someone asking me. And I really haven't in years now.

So I'm just curious. When was the last time you asked? When was the last time you had someone ask you?
What's your opinion of whether this is still ok?

Generally, I think you were ok. I like the idea of using a carrot stick or other food item as the tasting utensil instead of your finger.
What bothers me the most about this story is that the restaurant didn't bother to label their dressings.
Really, each item should have a clear label - but that's probably asking too much!

I am another one who avoids buffets.
I quit going to them years ago because I always overeat.
Salad bars are a sort of middle ground there, since most of it is good-for-you veggies, but inevitably they have a bunch of not-so-great-for-you options on there as well.

I think that covid made me shy away from them even more... but it seems that they are pretty much as available and popular now as they were pre-2020.

Ah yes! Candied apples! I don't think I've seen one in a long time. I remember eating them as a kid though. The candy was the red, hard, stick-in-your-teeth kind of stuff and not a whole lot of the apple itself got eaten.

I do see caramel apples sometimes for sale in candy/chocolate stores. I often wonder who still buys those.

Candied and caramel apples are hard to eat, messy, and IMO not all that great. They do LOOK quite tempting though.

To be honest, the purpose of those games is mostly to entertain the guests DURING the event. Who wins is usually much less important.

So yeah, ideally, the gifts get spread out a bit. It's just more fun that way for everyone, not just the winners.
It might leave a bad taste in my mouth if I saw all the prizes going to the same people, particularly relatives of the guest-of-honor.

As long as you don't make your actions public, I vote OK.

Ha! Yes, that's a funny line.

To answer the LW, I would just keep my mouth shut. The coworker doesn't sound like anyone I'd be inclined to want to be friendly with outside of work, and the potential repercussions of advising her outweigh any benefit I can think of.

Of course you are right, gellchom. At least for norms as they have existed for most of my life.

But I've come to recognize that times have changed. What used to be considered as rude or gauche in many cases has not only become accepted but quite often expected.

1) The guests are all going to get gifts for this baby at some point anyway, no matter what you call the party (I bet many won't even notice what it's called, and most will just think of it as "DD#1's shower" anyway no matter what you call it),

Exactly! It's a shower no matter what you call it. And the invitees are going to know that. And they are going to buy gifts.

Twenty years ago, I would totally agree with you to be super careful about wording and coming across as expecting gifts, etc.
But the more time goes on, the less anyone, at least of the generations younger than I, cares about that kind of stuff.

I've gotten lots of invitations now, as I'm sure you have, that have broken etiquette rules that were firmly in place for most of my life. Many of those rules just don't matter anymore.

All this probably isn't making things easier for jpcher, but I'd advise her to get with DD#1 and hash it out. DD#1 knows what will sit well (or not) with her contemporaries, and it sounds like that will be who will make up the majority of the guest list.

I think there's a difference between something like a wedding, where there are lots of tables and the possibility of being seated at a table for 10-12 people where you might not know anyone, versus a dinner party consisting of 6 to 8 people.

In the case of a large table of potential strangers, yeah, I'd want to be seated next to my spouse, or at least someone I know.

At a dinner party of 6 to 8, there will be moments when the conversation engages all attendees, and times when smaller, separate conversations break out. It's those smaller conversations where it's nice to be seated next to someone other than your spouse to give you the opportunity to talk to someone you might not otherwise get to talk to.

Plus, at a dinner party, there is a host who can and usually does provide conversation starters, introductions, and such.

At a wedding table, with no host at each table, people really are left on their own for mingling, which can be more difficult at table full of strangers.

I already know I'm NOT going to say this, or anything, because I know it would not go over well coming from me.
But I'm curious, what would you do?

Here's the situation.

A good friend has a dog and three cats. Up till extremely recently, her house was fine. Clean, no smell issues.

However, about a week ago, I went over there for a short visit, and the smell of cat pee was overwhelming. What I mean is, it wasn't just a hint, or in a certain room. It was everywhere in the house, and it was strong. I smelled it the second I walked in the door.

She had mentioned to me previously that one of her cats was not using the litter box, and that she had set up a camera to see which one. She identified the guilty party, and is convinced that the cat in question has a UTI which explains its issue.

I honestly didn't think about it much one way or the other till I stepped into her house and smelled it.

I am not a pet person -- I don't have any and while I'm fine around animals, I don't go out of my way to interact with them, and honestly prefer not to have to engage.
That alone is a good enough reason for me not to say anything to her.

However, multiple people have been in her house over the last week, and there has been discussion among them, some including me, about the smell.
No one, to my knowledge, has said anything to her. It's a difficult subject to broach!

So I'm curious - would you say anything? And if so, what?