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Messages - bopper

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1
Entertaining and Hospitality / Re: Graduation party
« on: July 01, 2025, 02:53:37 pm »
I would think it tacky and probably wouldn't go.  They just want the gifts but don't want to host.
They should just have a backyard BBQ.

2
Life in General / Re: Hugh Grant Oscar's interview... clash of cultures or rudeness?
« on: March 14, 2023, 02:44:58 pm »
I thought it was rude...

I understand if you think the questions are inane.  If so:

1) Don't participate

2) change the topic.. "No i don't have a particular person I want to win, but it's great that the actor categories are so diverse this year (or his  topic of choice)

3) Go meta "I always think it funny that you ask Who you are wearing, when isn't a who but a what."

3
Family and Children / Re: Visiting Adult "children"
« on: March 06, 2023, 10:20:40 pm »
Don't reorganize things because you think it would be better

Be careful about asking about cleaning... you may be trying to be helpful but they may think it is commenting on their cleanliness.

Try to recognize their schedules...If they sleep in on the weekend, have something that you can do to amuse yourself.


4
The Work Day / Re: My Wonderful, Funny, Talented, Creative New Hire is also a supersensitive, whiney, tattling Drama Queen
« on: October 21, 2022, 01:29:26 pm »
"Diva, I have noticed that when you suggest a new program that other coworkers tell you to talk to management or to see if we have done this type of thing before, you take this personally and come to me upset.  What I would like you to do instead is bring up your ideas to me/mgr and if someone says we did this before to say "Thanks for the head up, I will look into the history.'  Because maybe you have a great idea. Or maybe we tried this 3 years ago and it didn't work because our population is different.  We value your creativity, but we also value efficiency and what will work for our customers. Is that something you can do."

5
The Work Day / Re: Your Program Wasn't For Me, So... I Didn't Actually Complete It
« on: October 21, 2022, 01:23:12 pm »
We were living in Germany and my daughter was a senior in HS. I wanted her to get a drivers license before she went off to college.  So we signed her up for German driving school.  We paid the normal price, but told them we dont' want her to get a license or even take the written test, but just to learn to drive and practice.  It was very very hard for them to get their heads around this.

6
The Work Day / Re: Need work advice regarding customers who only speak Spanish
« on: October 21, 2022, 01:18:40 pm »
I would learn to say "I am sorry, I don't speack Spanish. Do you speak English?" if the answer is no, then learn to say "I will get my colleague who speaks Spanish."

Or if this happens all the time, get your mgr. who speaks Spanish to write down the answer/explanation about fuel points.

7
Life in General / Re: We both know that's not true
« on: October 21, 2022, 01:05:13 pm »
"You know, I don't think that we do based on what you have told me before. But it might seem that way because we prioritize different things in spending."


It might be that she is talking about take home pay....She may have a bigger mortgage/home equity loan/student loans and doesn't have as much discretionary incomes.
She may value things and you may value travel.  She may value eating out but you value something else but eat in to save money.

8
Life in General / Re: Sticky Situation (involving religion)
« on: October 21, 2022, 01:03:06 pm »
"Ill let the family know you asked for a prayer for her."

9
The Work Day / Re: Work & Funerals
« on: June 13, 2022, 02:31:58 pm »
#1: "No actually it is for a funeral.  I don't think that is the best question to ask in general."

#2: "Gee, boss, if it takes a funeral for us to get some time off maybe we need to look at vacation allocation or staffing levels."

10
The Work Day / Re: Difficult Coworker (Long)
« on: June 13, 2022, 02:28:25 pm »
First: "Tammy, you have some good points. Can you email those to me? I want to make sure I get a chance to think about each of them."
Then she either repeats her nonsense (good, you have evidence) or she cleans it up... if so you could say "Tammy, that isn't at all what you said in person. Which is your true feelings on the subject?"


I would ask my boss help with handling a situation....Tammy doesn't like feedback and looks for the worse in what you were saying...how you were working with your good coworker and said you had to edit a document and Tammy thought you were implying that Coworker had done a terrible job.  Coworker thinks no such thing.  But the tricky part is that Tammy is only saying things when others are not around . How do they think you should handle it?"

11
Life in General / Re: Mask issue at church
« on: June 13, 2022, 02:23:05 pm »
Wear a mask if you want to be "careful" in the choir pews...you are being careful but you are risking others (who have no idea of your status)

12
Life in General / Re: I don't want to be this woman's friend
« on: June 13, 2022, 02:19:29 pm »
"Time to read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker.

The next time you encounter her (mail, in person) tell her:  "I don't want to be your friend. Do not talk to me, do not hug me, do not write me letters. Do you understand?"
If she is autistic you have to be very straightfoward. No name calling, no cursing, but firm.

Then do not respond to any further letters. If she approaches you, walk away. If she somehow hugs you, scream as if a stranger attacks you.  If necessary, talk to the police about stalking.

13
Family and Children / Re: My parents made a scrapbook "for" me, and I don't want it.
« on: June 13, 2022, 02:07:49 pm »
Take it.

Then throw it out, rip pages out of it, or just stuff it in the attic.

14
Family and Children / Re: How do you, as a parent, handle sibling rivalry/angst?
« on: June 13, 2022, 02:06:47 pm »
When my kids were squabbling too much I would send them to their rooms for a timeout.  There were toys and books but no electronics.
They would get bored...so they would sneak into each other rooms to play.  Mission accomplished.

I also tried to be "fair" as much as I could...I realized that if I left something up to them to decide, there would be squabbling, but if there was a "rule" then they were fine.
For example, what music was played in the car. Much commotion. But when I said you get MWF, you Get TThS and I get Sunday then no squabbling.

If the older one had a friend over (that the little one also knew)..I would have them all play together for a bit...but then take the little one away so they could have time with just each other.

15
The Work Day / Re: Get on with it!
« on: January 28, 2022, 10:12:46 am »
I agree with others that she is reacting from her previous experience in asking questions.

One thing to try:

"Lucy? Can I offer you some friendly coaching?  I noticed sometimes when you have a question in a meeting you kind of couch it and excuse yourself for even asking a question and sometimes I think you psych yourself out of even asking the question. We all want to hear what you have to say and I know that gosh, sometimes women anre't "heard" in meetings. And I know sometimes people have had bad bosses in the past that won't even let you question anything.  Here is my suggestion to you:  Write down your question on paper. Try to make it one sentence, maybe two. Then when if someone asks if there are any questions, you say yes, and then just read the paper. Don't apologize for asking. Just read it. We all want to hear your insights but in a focused way. Do you think you could try that?"

I am not sure if your boss should tell her that you will be talking to her about this before hand.

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