Bad Manners and Brimstone

I've never asked but had people offer for me to go ahead. I also do the same if I notice someone behind me who only have a few items.

I haven't done it lately though because like you said, there's usually self-checkouts and the wait is usually not too long. Also, I've witnessed customers who only have 1-3 items take longer than a customer with a cart full of stuff (price check, trouble paying, slow cashier, etc.)

My workplace plays bingo sometimes and games at the yearly picnic. Once you win a prize, you can keep playing for bragging rights but you can't claim a second prize. It's more fun this way and nobody feels bad.

Maybe make that a rule for the next similar event.

1. Yes, say "appetizers and desserts will be served" so guests will know if they need to eat lunch beforehand. Some people eat lunch around 1pm.

2. Maybe "DD & DH's shipping address: 123 XYZ Street, NY NY" without mentioning gifts and hope they get the hint? Sorry, I don't know about this one.

3. Ask for RSVP with how many will be attending and with a deadline. Then give the number of "yes" to the caterer, but order extra servings since it's always a good idea to have more than less/just enough.

" is there a polite way to say please have your gift sent to DD#1 and DH at their home address? "  A few years ago I was at a local Bridal shower for out of town bride.  I was shocked to learn hostesses returned all the gifts (mostly from Bed Bath, Beyond) & sent credit slip to bride who then re bought gifts at her local B,B,B.

My personal opinion, and probably it won't be popular, is that if I had to pay to ship a gift I would be buying a smaller gift.

Congrats again on upcomming Grandmahood

Bolding mine. Yeah, the first time I encountered this was from a coworker in the 90's. I thought this was something this person thought up. I found out this person wasn't the only one as the years go by and the internet became easily accessible to read stories like this and "hacks" like this. I wouldn't pay extra to ship either and would just get something smaller or a gift card.

I think we need more details. Is it a bunch of teens hanging out who normally pay for themselves and using graduation as an excuse to party, or is it a bit more formal?

If there is a host sending out invitations to friends and relatives to celebrate one person, I think the host(s) should pay for everyone. It doesn't have to be expensive. The restaurant can help put together a limited menu, or the party can be held at a pizza place or something like that.

I googled "fancy chicken tenders" and one link is below:

The author wrote her kids love them but I think the picture looks nice enough for a dinner party.
https://therecipecritic.com/garlic-parmesan-chicken-tenders/

Oops! Sorry. Late to the (NYE) party but I just saw this post  . Oh well, maybe for another party.

Send a card if you wish but no more checks. Very rude they don't thank you even by text. That says they don't want that kind of relationship so give them their wish.

I think you all need family counseling from a third party to figure out why he won't do anything without being told or why he keeps crucial information to himself (the sprinkler valve) until it's too late. To me, an outsider, that looks like a hostile act*, but maybe it's something else. Maybe that's how his brain is wired. Maybe he doesn't feels in control of his own life since he lives in your house and it's coming out in passive aggressive ways. I don't know. But maybe a third party will help you all communicate with each other in more affective ways.

*I can't imagine waltzing off to work if I know how to shut the thing off even at a house that's not my own. That's like someone accidentally leaving the stove on and I just leave because *I* didn't use it, so now the house is empty with a burner turned on.

Sorry but I think more details and background are needed. I don't know if it matters, but who is this person? A spouse, relative, friend, or child?

He's either lazy or something made him give up. Did his parents/spouse do everything for him? Did this person grow up being criticized when he complete chores? Did a parent(s) or spouse push him away from the stove when he tries to cook and take over? Yeah he's now in his 60's but saying he wants to "keep out of trouble" speaks volumes. Or perhaps he's afraid to step on toes if he's a friend staying in your house for free even after 15 year and the discussions.

Perhaps a weekly written chore chart will help since he doesn't object to doing the work when asked. Sounds like he just needs clear instructions.