Bad Manners and Brimstone

The picnic was yesterday.  It went better than I had expected, though the caterer did run out of drinks and a committee member had to run out and get some.  B ended up paying for my ticket as a birthday present (my birthday is next Sunday).  B also told me that she is going to have a discussion with the Board regarding volunteers paying for events they are volunteering at.  Seems she realized what I was trying to get at when she asked our cousin to help out and felt weird telling her she'd have to pay the entrance fee.  (Cousin was there so either she agreed to pay or B covered her as well)  All in all, it was a pretty good day.

I am still considering backing away from the picnic at least as far as being on the planning committee.  I ended up missing half of the meetings because they scheduled them on a night that I could not attend. (Long standing commitment)

Quote from: Contrarian on August 13, 2019, 04:35:56 pm

I’m a bit confused by the idea of some volunteers putting in two hours where others put in 40, or something about a huge amount of volunteers being needed and the company becoming too much.

I’ve never seen an event where, if there are volunteers working for a full week, which ends with a charity dinner, those volunteers who have been working all week are awarded a dinner, even though they are not working the night it’s served.

For meals to be free, volunteers have to be on site at the time and usually involved directly in the part of the event that includes food. It’s not about how much time you’ve put in, it’s just that there’s always enough food for the day, 7 people and 3 kitchen staff volunteering to prepare and serve the meal on site for 70 guests.

If you did the flyers for the Saturday event on a Tuesday, you don’t get asked to attend the event to get a free meal.

The free meal is, we’ve ordered plenty of food, here it is, have a plate on your break.

That’s it.
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I believe the OP was speaking of a catered dinner provided by a company that is paid per person.

Actually, it is a catered buffet at a picnic.   The cost to the charity is figured per head.  In previous years, the food was pretty much donated so it was up to the individual volunteer whether to pay the entrance fee or not.  This year, however, since it is different caterer (who is charging the charity), volunteers will need to pay for their meals (at least) 

Thanks for all of the responses so far.  You've pretty much verified my own thoughts on this.  Just a few thought/answers to some of the questions I've come across in reading your answers:

The charity is relatively new.  It was founded in late 2014 as a 501c not-for-profit.  Most of us are relatively new to this and are kind of learning as we go.

The event in question (though my question could apply to any event) is a picnic at a local park.  We have access to the pavillion, though the park is open to anyone during the event (not just picnic goers).   In addition to the food, we have a band (3 pc ), a silent auction, a chinese raffle (where you put tickets in the bags in front of the items you want to win) and activities for kids provided by an outside vendor (which the charity pays for)  Volunteers, for the most part, are friends and family members who sell the raffle tickets, manage the silent auction, sell T-shirts, and run the entrance/registration table.  (Normally there would be volunteers manning the buffet line, but from what I understand, this year that will be done by the catering staff)  Past picnics have brought in roughly 150 patrons with approximately a dozen or so volunteers/workers.

I'm not sure what the actual plan for determining the number of "heads".   We have used wristbands in the past (ticket holders get a wrist band with people over 21 getting a certain color as we do serve alcohol) so I'm guessing it might be by the number of wristbands sold.

The charity itself provides financial assistance to families meeting certain criteria (being deliberately vague here).  It provides a set amount of picnic tickets for the families helped so they can attend the picnic.  My thought is that we should provide the same benefit to the volunteers and factor the cost of the volunteers' meals.  Or provide and alternative meal for volunteers.  (Though I think most of the volunteers for this event will be paying for their tickets of their own volition, I am most likely going to be either bringing my own food or leaving for a period of time to go get something.)

My main reason for asking the question is for future events when we may need to bring in more volunteers.  I'd like to be able to make a case that we need to provide some benefits if we are going to attract volunteers in the future.

Update:

B just called to apologize for the way she treated me on Sunday.  She said she was just stressed about everything with the event and took it out on me.  The three of us are actually pretty close, but we can all have an attitude from time to time.  As far as the charity is concerned, I'm still going to limit my involvement in it, primarily as a way of cutting down on my own stress. 

Would your non-attendance/late arrival have a critical impact on Event 2?

Not sure.  I have had to leave for a period of time to attend to personal family issues, so I know they can get along without me for at least some of the time.  I am setting up a possible Plan A for my non-attendance, though.  (The event is a public event that has a entrance fee.  There has been some talk about making the volunteers pay said fee.  If that happens, I'm going to try to get out of it by saying that I can't afford it.  (I can't!)

I would find it very hard to want to pull my weight at an all-hands-on-deck event if I were repeatedly criticised for getting everything wrong.

I don't usually have an issue with Event 2.  It's technically run by F and is large enough that I don't see much of B during the day.  It is also a food-based event so I'll have food available.  And I will not post any pictures, so hopefully I won't get scolded for doing something wrong.

I'm going to go and put SnarkyMiriam back in her box now.

Why?  I kind of like SnarkyMiriam

FYI my issue wasn’t with whether I was right or wrong (I’ve admitted to temporary lapses in judgement) but with the way B criticized me for it. I felt like a child especially when she ordered me to donate if I wasn’t doing a test drive. (AFAIK, test drives by volunteers were voluntary). Nobody else was ordered to take a test drive, though most did it anyway. In fact, I’m pretty sure our other sister, T, did not test drive either. Though I could be wrong as I was in another area and basically ignored when B wasn’t lecturing me.

 My sisters B & T are on the board of a charity started to honor our late sister.  I help out/volunteer at events and fundraisers.  I was on the original board until they decided that my position (public relations) was not a board position.  At least it wasn't until about a year ago when they brought in an outside person (W) to replace me.  With no warning.  (while i was no longer on the board, they usually had a general meeting after the board meeting that I was a part of.  For about 2 - 3 months in a row they had PR on the agenda, but always ran out of time before it came up.   When they finally got to that item on the agenda, it was to tell me that W was taking over my job and, oh yeah, she was now on the board.  TBH I understand me not being allowed on the board as it would tilt the board towards our family).  But needless to say, my enthusiasm towards the charity has cooled significantly during the past year.

There have been quite a few instances lately where I have questioned whether I really want to continue volunteering for this organization.  Today was one of those days.

We had an event at a local car dealership where, for every car test driven, the dealership would donate a set amount of money.  Well, the first thing I did wrong was to bring a bag of nuts to snack on.  B was appalled.  "Don't you know people have nut allergies?  You're going to have to wash your hands every time you eat a handful of nuts" (I was selling T-shirts and collecting donations)  So the nuts went away and I had to drive over to the deli across the street to pick up something to eat (event ran through lunchtime and I am a type 2 diabetic), spending money I didn't really have to spend.  (I get the whole nut allergy and the fact that there are people who react even to residue, but I have to wonder at which point the person with the allergy needs to take responsibility for his/her own allergy.  I mean, do I have to give up nuts simply because someone with a nut allergy might touch something that I touched after I ate nuts?)

Then later on B was dancing to the band we had performing for us.  I took a video of her dancing and posted in on Facebook as a way to help promote the event.   When she found out, B was furious "are you f**** kidding me!  Take it down this instant!"  (Nevermind that she had been on facebook live earlier in the day to promote the event.  It was simply because I hadn't asked "permission" to post it.)  I took it down of course, along with the other post I had made to promote the event.  (Petty, I know, but I was no longer in the mood to promote the event at all.)

The final (?) straw was when I was asked if I planned on test driving a car.  I wasn't really in the mood to test drive (not in the market, though that wasn't really a barrier plus it was hot and I just wasn't feeling like test driving a car.)  Well, when B found out she basically ordered me to test drive a car or "put $20 in the donation box".  I donated $20 (that I didn't really have) just to shut her up.

I'm at the point now where I'm not really sure if I want to continue helping out when all I seem to do is get harped on for minor mistakes (or lapses in judgement.  *if it were anyone else making the mistake B would be all nice and helpful not cursing them out for making an error).  Add in the fact that I often feel out of the loop when it comes to events and such (I'm supposed to be on the fundraising committee.  I keep learning about new fundraisers, but have yet to attend any meeting where said fundraisers are discussed. )  I'm starting to feel like I'm not really appreciated at best and ridiculed at worst.  (I overheard B today after the FB fiasco complaining about my posting the video without her permission.  Like I said, it was my mistake, but I really didn't see the harm as it was to promote the event and it wasn't really that embarrassing)

So my question is, how many chances should I give them before cutting my losses and donating my talents to places that are more appreciative?

This brings up a question that I've often had - for myself, as well.

When people park in front of my house, if they're not my guests or service workers, I get annoyed. But then I start to wonder - why exactly am I annoyed? It's a public street, and in my area there are no laws or local regulations against doing so. Still, it annoys me, and I find that many people are the same. But I can't pin down WHY it annoys me! I literally have no idea, but it's my gut reaction that people shouldn't park in front of my house if they're not here to visit my house. It's selective, because if there's a party and there are cars parked in front of everyone's house, I don't care. But if the street is largely empty and it's just my house, I do. I've asked friends if they feel the same way, and they do. But they also can't articulate why.

Add me to those who are also annoyed by this but can't explain why.  Where I am, parking on the street is legal, but nobody does so - except one house.  This house always has 6 cars in their driveway, so any additional cars park on the street.  (They also tend to park on the street when 'shuffling' the cars around to get out in the morning.)  When I leave in the mornings, there is almost always a car parked just before the start of my driveway, forcing me to back further into the street that I'd care to.   One day, they actually had the gall to park in my driveway!  Luckily it was only for about 5 minutes and they were gone before I had to leave for work but really!?! 

This weekend, they apparently had their driveway sealed and all 6 vehicles are parked in their yard.