Bad Manners and Brimstone

For the stylist, I tuck a folded bill between two things on his station but keep it visible.  No envelope.  The shampooist has a tip jar.

Retired public librarian here.  As you select books for check out, if you have the time, you might point out specific major damage to the
circulation desk staffer, i.e., torn, marked up, missing pages, dried up water damage, etc., or skip those books altogether. Another recommendation would be to ask the children's librarian for board books. Each page is made of thick cardboard and sturdy enough (far more sturdy than most shipping cartons) to resist the impulses of the most excited and littlest readers. I've worked public libraries in three different states and am unaware of some sort of threshold for damaged books. The practice of asking for full price payment or an exact replacement for a severely damaged book is pretty standard. 

When my husband does this or starts adding side excursions (or off topic context) from what I think he's trying to get at, I just say (interrupt, frankly), "Skipping ahead/Let's skip ahead here."*  It generally brings him around.  While this works for me, it wouldn't work in an employment setting. 

Perhaps a gentle interruption along the lines of, "Co-worker, please excuse the interruption, but with our limited (remaining) time, what is your.....concern...question......(whatever magic word might get her on track...I'd avoid the words 'problem' and 'issue') about topic A, B, or the change in procedure of C of today's meeting....?"  whatever gentle magic word might get her on track. 

Armchair psychologist here, she's probably spent a lifetime being shot down every time she opens her mouth, so she tries to hedge everything to limit blowback.  What this means is someone, you? the TL? develops the skill to be both a participant and an active observer of the communication and jump in when the active observer starts seeing things go off the rails.

*For example, he'll start talking about a challenge he and his buddies had on a backpacking trip hiking up a mountain with an irrelevant side excursion about the type and source of some guy's camp food.

On the one hand, I can see that you'd want to be informed of a kid's involvement in potentially dangerous activity, but on the other, this petty stuff is just that, petty stuff.  You know your daughter better than Linda or Cindy does and you get to decide what is important versus what is petty. 

For the petty stuff, I'd probably respond with something like, "Well, that's interesting," in a neutral tone just to acknowledge receipt of the information and immediately change the subject. Seems that the Cindy/Linda connection is just drooling to indulge in a gossip session about any response that would hint at what you'd do with the information.  Why take the bait?

Only thing I've ever heard concerning the MOG at the wedding is that she should "show up, be silent, and wear beige."  About as old school as it gets.  And just to show how old school, when we married 37 years ago, DMIL indeed wore beige.  She had a great sense of humor and I believe this expression may have come from her. 

The parish secretary is the guilty party and should make it right by apologizing to the crafts person and admitting to having overstepped to the mother of the child. 

That said, depending on the child's age (an older child might grasp it but it sounds like this was a young child), it might be a teaching moment for a socially and emotionally mature parent to talk to the child about the error of "voluntolding" someone, specifically, committing a third party to a course of action without their prior knowledge or consent. 

Unfortunately, from the way the parent is described, the teaching moment might not happen.

On a recent cross-country flight (about 5 hours) both DH and I had aisle seats across from each other.  That's how we fly.  In my row, the middle seat was taken by a father and a small child had the window seat.  His wife had the aisle seat in front of me and asked to trade, thinking that I might be traveling solo.  It would have been an aisle seat for an aisle seat.  I shook my head no and pointed to my DH across the aisle.  She didn't press.  Good thing too.  Her row-mates showed up thereafter and were a parent and small child.  The small child in my row was very well-behaved the entire trip.  Didn't hear a peep out of him and his dad kept him engaged.  The small child in the row in front of me fussed the entire time. 

Decades ago I was on a flight, solo, and had the window seat. The middle seat and aisle were unsold and therefore unoccupied.  I was asked to move by a flight attendant.  They explained that they had a passenger with a medical issue and it was deemed prudent for that person to have the entire row.  It was obvious that the person was not well.  I gladly accommodated the situation.