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Messages - collakat

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1
Life in General / Re: "It's your fault..."
« on: February 25, 2020, 07:05:11 am »
Quote from: shadowfox79 on February 25, 2020, 12:57:35 am
Thanks, everyone. I think you're right - having a nice photo isn't an invitation.

I'm wondering if the fact that I write romance also flicked a switch in his brain. Some people do get funny ideas about romance writers.

Isn't that another reason to look for a reason or fault? No, creeps' switches are flipped by the fact that they are creeps. Just standing next to or existing near one can be a trigger. He had your email address and could reach you. It's like creeps calling random numbers and asking what you're wearing.

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The Work Day / Re: Is This Weird? - Pleasantries in Phone Calls at Work
« on: February 20, 2020, 01:39:57 am »
Quote from: Aleko on February 19, 2020, 06:59:08 am
Quote
In African culture it is considered rude not to properly greet first and ask the other person how they are.

Collakat, don't you mean "South African culture"? "Africa" is a pretty big place, with many different cultures.

And every culture has its own norms, which often they don't even fully articulate to themselves until people from somewhere else come along and violate them. For example, in France nobody expects or wants waitstaff or retail staff to ask complete strangers how they are, or wish them a nice day, still less ask them what plans they have for the weekend, heaven forbid! But if you walk into a smallish shop (i.e. not a supermarket) and don't greet everyone there, both staff and other customers, with 'Bonjour, m'sieurs-dames' ('Good day, ladies and gentlemen'), you are ill-mannered.

I do pick it up from our neighboring countries and friends from other (more north) African countries also.  So that is why I said African as opposed to South African. However, we are seen as a friendly nation  ;D

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The Work Day / Re: Is This Weird? - Pleasantries in Phone Calls at Work
« on: February 19, 2020, 02:49:00 am »
In African culture it is considered rude not to properly greet first and ask the other person how they are.

4
Entertaining and Hospitality / Re: Unreasonably miffed?
« on: December 11, 2019, 06:35:32 am »
Quote from: Hmmm on December 10, 2019, 08:21:56 am
As someone who works in the industry, I am very selective on the information I share on FB and other social media platforms. Yes, any platform has the potential to be mined for information but there is no reason I should make it easier for FB, Amazon, Google and the various ad services that collect your information to create a complete dossier on my contacts, events, purchases and search habits. Mining of email can be done by third party apps if you allow the third party app to access your messages. But otherwise, email is still the most secure as far as privacy of your interactions.

Unless you don't change your password often. We can check 'Have I been Pwned' website to check your email address. My work email address has been hit more than my Gmail.... Thanks LinkedIn

When I use the internet, social media and communications, I just assume everything is collected 'somewhere' and it is impossible to be 100% secure.

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Entertaining and Hospitality / Re: Unreasonably miffed?
« on: December 10, 2019, 07:11:47 am »
I see it as unnecessary or over explaining that don't need answering, just acknowledging of the RSVP and wouldn't take offence.

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Life in General / Re: Menstruation question
« on: November 18, 2019, 02:00:16 am »
I agree with the previous posters that confronting this issue is not a good idea. It was an accident, although badly handled.

I would like the poster who disagreed with every post to give his/her 2 cents please?


7
Weddings / Re: I Need Help... (OP U/D # 39)
« on: August 26, 2019, 06:44:45 am »
I first like your post (Well done for standing up to them!). And then I saw the push back that you predicted. I'm sorry for that. I do hope you have a wonderful time up to the wedding, that it is special. Hugs

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Life in General / Re: Um... hi?
« on: August 26, 2019, 06:20:36 am »
This would make me very uncomfortable.  :o

I think the etiquette issue would be if she brings it up, maybe to test if you are also into it or to validate her life choices. If you don't have ethical objections just say that it is not your scene but none of your business. If I was pushed for a comment, I would give it. But your decision? If she does not raise it, then it did not happen...

9
Pets / Re: Dear Cat . . .
« on: July 15, 2019, 07:41:42 am »
Quote from: Snowfire on September 19, 2018, 12:59:18 am

Also, I am happy to snuggle up to whiskers, back, belly or flanks. I draw the line at butt. Please point that somewhere else!

Your Mom

The one cat sleeps with my daughter and the bigger Tom with me. Now this happens every few nights.... After I tucked her (them) in and start relaxing myself, I hear  the distress call "Mom I have a situation!" I.e. cat made herself comfortable on the pillow, butt in daughter's face again. I don't know why the 9 year old cannot move the cat herself, I have to go in, turn the cat around, push cat down with butt in a better position and then both are happily snuggled.

10
Gaming / Re: Pokemon Go!
« on: July 09, 2019, 01:37:04 am »
I've taken a break and playing Wizard Unite (Harry Potter) for a while

11
Weddings / Re: I Need Help...
« on: June 19, 2019, 03:29:49 am »
In the first place, Congratulations! This is your blessed day and it seems you have wonderful support in your MOH and future Husband and they have a plan of action for handling your Gramps (I'm sorry that you have to deal with someone like him).

I would not invite the family you are not close to, and your MOH said she will field the fallout:) So don't feel guilty about it.

Thirdly the Quaich seems like a lovely ceremony, I really like the idea of it and Toast wordings on the link you shared . You could keep whatever you are drinking in a small decanter that goes with your table decorations and theme if you are worried that the bottle of wine (or whatever you choose) would highlight the fact you are not serving it to everyone?  I don't think it is rude btw.

12
Life in General / Re: Promises to kids made by a third party on behalf of an nonconsulted adult.
« on: May 19, 2019, 10:25:40 am »
It is ridiculous to suggest someone leave a church family due to two people's entitlement or idiocy. Please don't go overboard

13
Holidays / Re: Late dinner, impatient guest
« on: January 28, 2019, 07:46:19 am »
Hi, I skipped a few pages and don't know if this was addressed.

I think the point is that his whining was rude. I don't know what the best wording would be; but I would've told him to stop his nagging as it is spoiling dinner. I'd rather ignore the sulking, which would probably have been the result if he was shut down firmly.

You and your Mother could also have commented on how much you are enjoying the food. If they don't want to comment, then just act as if they are also enjoying it...  ;)

Any wording suggestions for telling someone politely but firmly to zip it or would you just bean dip?




14
The Work Day / Re: Babies at conferences?
« on: November 06, 2018, 04:45:07 am »
Quote from: AtHomeRose on November 05, 2018, 07:37:08 pm
Interesting take on conferences as a business and voting with your dollar. I have never run a For-Profit conference and never heard of one for my field. The conferences I have been involved with are put on by the professional society for its member and others wanting to access the specialties of the members. It has always been about supporting the maximum amount of members and encouraging diversity and growth in our field, not about making money (you don't want to run in the red but other than that money is not the goal).

Interesting, All the professional organisations I belong to, report more income from their conferences than membership fees. I have never seen a child at any of these.

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The Work Day / Re: Babies at conferences?
« on: November 05, 2018, 05:58:33 am »
Quote from: Winterlight on November 04, 2018, 09:43:33 pm
I think conferences should look into offering onsite child care, since many parents cannot leave their child/children home for varying reasons. However, children should not be attending panels/sessions/meetings. People need to be able to hear, and a cranky child- or a happy one- can get very noisy very fast.

I disagree, it brings a lot of extra legal and cost issues. If I want to attend a conference, I have to make alternative arrangements for my little one. When she was a baby, I did not attend overnights or full days events, I made my required hours in other ways to maintain my certifications.

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