Bad Manners and Brimstone

I was a server for several years. I also don't like food waste, and neither do restauranteurs. Don't feel bad about asking to leave it off! At my employer's place, you could sub any side. All of our sandwiches came with fries, but some people didn't want the fries so they'd ask to just get the sandwich. I always offered for them to sub another side, since the side was included anyway and leaving it off wouldn't change the price, and many people happily took me up on that offer. Even if you simply don't want the side and don't want to sub, I feel it's better to ask them to leave it off completely than to get it then not eat it. Everybody wins that way.

I work in a bank. The gum chewing is a big no no, at least when working up close and personal with customers like that. (I work drive-thru as a teller sometimes, and I will chew gum back there because I'm not up close to the customers and I certainly don't chew it with my mouth open at all.) The scratching thing is just yucky - he definitely shouldn't have been doing that!

As for him having to go across the bank to get questions answered, it sounds to me like that's a training issue or you were sent to the wrong person. This has happened to me before. It's usually the latter in my case, and in that instance, I direct the customer to the correct person. I hate to put it like this, but sometimes I get customers "dumped" on me in customer service because there's no one available in the correct department, which is incredibly frustrating to me and to the customer because I don't have the knowledge to help them since it's not something that's actually within the realm of my job description and the teller who sent them to me couldn't be bothered to tell them that unfortunately, all of the people in the department they need were busy at the moment. There are a lot of scenarios where that could have happened, so that may or may not have been his fault.

I would definitely express your feelings to someone higher up about the scratching thing, and maybe mention that if an employee is going to chew gum, it needs to be done in a discreet manner. Definitely mention the fact that he didn't seem to be able to help much with credit cards, but perhaps frame it in a way that says that he either needs more training because he was willing to answer your questions, he just had to field them to someone else to make sure the answers were correct, or that his fellow employees need to be trained to send customers to the correct department to begin with.

I work as a teller and CSR at a local bank. It's a small town, everyone knows everyone, you know the deal. As such, I'm not only familiar with a lot of our customers on a professional level but also on a more personal level as well. I have them as friends on social media, stop and chit chat while out and about, etc. This isn't a problem and I'm happy to know them like this, except when customers contact me (or some of my coworkers, as I'm not the only person it happens to) outside of work regarding issues with their accounts. It's not like it happens every day or anything, but it happens often enough that sometimes it does bother me a bit. Two great examples are receiving messages on Facebook instead of the customer calling the bank when they have a question or an issue (this one happens more than the other), or being stopped while I'm out on my own time with questions regarding their accounts.

I've pondered how I can politely let these people know that this isn't really acceptable to me. It may seem like such a small thing, but I'm not on the bank's time when I'm at the grocery store or perusing Facebook, and even if they do message me while I'm at work, it's much more efficient for both them and me to just speak via the phone.

Am I wrong to feel this way? How can I go about letting people know that any questions or concerns can be handled during business hours by contacting the bank directly, without potentially offending both our clientele and friends?

Thank you for all the thoughtful responses.

The more that I think about it, I feel like several factors mentioned here were at play (her death was unexpected & she was still pretty young at 54, she didn't have much in the way of money and most people knew that, and our whole family is working-class). I wasn't insulted at all by these gifts, mainly just surprised, not to mention ever, ever grateful. All of the gifts were given very discreetly - either paid to the funeral home directly, or tucked into a sympathy card. One was given directly to me, by a family member, who took me aside away from anyone who could see, after the funeral.

If at no other time, it truly is in the midst of grief when you find out just how many people care. I am so, so grateful to have so many people who loved my Mom, and love us.

Dear Katie:

Miss you to bits. Wait for me at the bridge.

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, Knitterkitty. My heart goes out to you.

Mexican.

I like them. Most of the time I will use it, whether I have a full cart or just a few items. Not only does it feed my introvertedness, lol, but it also makes me feel more "in control," I guess, in terms of how my things are bagged and whatnot. Because I interact with people so heavily at my own work (bank teller/customer service rep), the less I can interact with people outside of work, the better, lol.