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Messages - Andi_3k

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1
Family and Children / Re: We’re visiting, this day- be there!
« on: June 15, 2021, 07:32:59 am »
Quote from: Aleko on June 15, 2021, 04:40:08 am
What are 'finger lakes'?

Also - sorry, grammar nerd alert! - you surely meant "my best friend invited mom and me"!

They’ve answered your question about the finger lakes - as for your other comments- do you feel bettknow that you’ve completely a d totally humiliated someone?   You are NOT my teacher or my parent it’s not for you to correct me!

2
Family and Children / Re: We’re visiting, this day- be there!
« on: June 14, 2021, 05:28:36 pm »
I have no idea if they came- my best friend invited mom and I to her new church in  town eat the finger lakes - so we were there all weekend. I’ve blocked them on my phone, too

3
Family and Children / Re: We’re visiting, this day- be there!
« on: June 07, 2021, 04:52:29 pm »
."

Or is there some other dynamic going on that they assume your home is a "family" home that anyone can just come and stay at will?

She can keep texting saying she wants to come on the weekends and you can respond one more time no and then ignore the rest.
[/quote]
 She’s been doted on zinc she moved away when I was in middle school- sh comes in th rest of the family dropped everything to se her. I’ve always hated that but now that I am working full time again I am not willing to give up my time with friends for someone I see one every few years and hear from only if I initiate contact— sh wants to see my mom and only wants me there as a baby sitter. 
   In the 40 years she’s lived out of the state we all grew up in I have never even been invited to visit- even when I was visiting friend 20 miles from her. But she feels entitled to dictate because most of the family allows it

4
Family and Children / We’re visiting, this day- be there!
« on: June 07, 2021, 10:20:45 am »
My cousins live in PA, I live in NYS - they moved, I live in the home I’ve since 1974. This morning my cousin texted me that she and her sister were discussing visiting on the weekend. I responded with “I am not home weekends”  and she’s insisting they will be here on the weekend as “ That’s the only time Jessie can come “
 Jessie is raising her grandkid and is expecting free babysitting while here, so they can visit- Ihavd told her repeatedly i am not going to be there and no, that it’s not possible for me to babysit.  She is refusing to visit anytime other than when it’s LEAST convenient for us.
I am feeling really put out that they feel they can dictate my weekend  like that and expect complete compliance- help?

5
The Work Day / Re: Rides, Recording and Rights updated5/25/2021
« on: May 31, 2021, 03:15:42 pm »

I can’t seem to be able to quote from my phone- “grandma dishes said
    “ Is there any possibility that she perhaps has a 'hidden' disability such as Aspergers that prevents her from having absorbed normal social graces?   Maybe she was hired in some kind of program designed to give jobs to people who might otherwise be deemed unemployable?   Maybe that's why she has to be driven around -- not able to get a driver's license?“

   She’s going to college this fall for a dual major of nursing and photography so I wouldn’t think there would be an issue with social graces or Asperger’s.  As for why she doesn’t drive I don’t know.  I do know that if she doesn’t get a ride home she walks or takes an Uber or Lyft.  Which even at that short distance will get expensive after awhile. 

6
The Work Day / Re: Rides, Recording and Rights updated5/25/2021
« on: May 27, 2021, 11:25:00 am »
Quote from: STiG on May 27, 2021, 07:05:29 am
Andi, I made the perhaps incorrect assumption that you are female.  If you are male, I can now see why she was so insistent on recording the ride home, considering how this man was treating her.

I am indeed female

7
The Work Day / Re: Rides, Recording and Rights updated5/25/2021
« on: May 26, 2021, 05:37:17 pm »
Quote from: Hanna on May 25, 2021, 11:10:09 pm
I’m surprised he didn’t say he has rights!

Was there always this much disfunction there?

I have only been there six months and he’s always been really focused on her.  The HR lady was visibly shaken when I told her what was going on.
   He is still walking around the office saying “ if this is how things are going to be”  he was leaving— other times he’s stepping down and going part time and other times is another option- all very emotional on his part. 
 
     

8
The Work Day / Re: Rides, Recording and Rights
« on: May 25, 2021, 08:39:22 pm »
So - things got really weird last week. My supervisor has been escalating ( that the only way I can describe it) in his focus on her- to the point where I got worried about her safety around him. I mean he’s near 70 and she’s 19 and he’s been flirting with her, focusing on her clothes, hair and body in an unhealthy way and finally he told her out right that he’s in love with her. 
  I asked her several times to go to HR and she was scared to do so, partly because she’s afraid that since she is not a citizen he could get her deported—- meanwhile I and the other male in my department were getting increasingly worried about her.  I finally had enough when he told her in front of all of us that he loved her and asked a supervisor  in another department to get me to HR - which she did, no questions asked.
 HR took it from there did an “ investigation” and she spilled everything he had said or done to her since she started last August.
 Now he is threatening to quit, or step down from his position “of this is how it’s going to be “   
  I’ve been promised that there will be no retaliation against me for turning him in  but I am still worried, no matter what happens at least she’s safe. 

9
Holidays / Re: Easter Dinner with an Occasional Vegan
« on: April 05, 2021, 06:12:51 pm »
I am not able to quote ABL’s post - but while it seems to be very informative- it’s not fair to take an important dinner like a major holiday and rework everything for one person.  No matter what the reasons.  Ethical, Religious, Medical or Fad Diet. I would make sure she had all major food groups to eat and serve the traditional foods made the traditional way. 

That said- how did it go.

10
The Work Day / Re: Rides, Recording and Rights
« on: March 04, 2021, 08:14:26 pm »
So she’s been out for two weeks- why. Because she decided to travel to Colorado from Western New York and vacation with her boyfriend for a week during a pandemic……because she (say it with me) she has rights. Upon coming back she didn’t bother to quarantine ( again, she has rights)  and she sat at work lying to the contact tracers that she was at home. Apparently someone turned her in because the HR woman came in at the end of the week, and sent her home for 10 days.  She threw a temper tantrum over it because her “rights” were being violated in her opinion. Hang on folks, she going to worth 1000 stories.  And the reaction of the HR lady tell me she will be of no help with the ride issue

11
The Work Day / Re: Rides, Recording and Rights
« on: January 25, 2021, 11:35:26 am »
I have no way to report this- I have looked into it but the only way to HR at this point is through your specific manager. A friend suggested going to the state labor department- but that seems to be the nuclear option.

    I have continued to refuse, siting insurance and going to “that won’t be possible”at every suggestion that I drive her. He has never questioned why, just says that I should be doing it.
  Interestingly another woman came back after working from home since March and she also has no car and there’s NEVER a suggestion that she be driven, even though she lives in a much worse neighborhood and farther away. Apparently it’s just the one who sings all day who gets special treatment.  I still can’t figure out why

12
The Work Day / Re: Rides, Recording and Rights
« on: January 17, 2021, 05:01:39 pm »
To answer a couple of questions- she’s not related to anyone that is discernible, not a mistress, unless it’s the best hidden affair in history and how she gets to work I am not sure, she comes in a half hour or so after me.
 She video records the entire ride ride from beginning to end every single time she is on my car and tells me she has the right if I object.

Thanks all, I really appreciate hearing I am not selfish or out of line for objecting

13
The Work Day / Re: Rides, Recording and Rights
« on: January 15, 2021, 05:46:31 pm »
  Apparently she’s not uncomfortable with me- she asked if she could leave with me today, when I left a half hour early to avoid overtime. She was refused this “ accommodation “ .
    She is the same person who objected to holidays and who sings continuously-and if she is not singing she is on FaceTime with her mom or friends- the phone is on almost all the time- If it weren’t I might consider the idea that this was a safety measure and not self centeredness. If anyone says anything to her she tells us “I have rights “ and “ It sounds like a personal problem to me”
  The last time I drove her was about a week ago when we had freezing rain and everything was coated with ice — and even then she told me she has the right to record the drive.
  I have had it with her and will not drive her again.

14
The Work Day / Re: Rides, Recording and Rights
« on: January 14, 2021, 07:00:08 pm »
The car is not provided by work, no I am not paid to drive her and the boss tries to arrange rides for her everyday- by this I mean he asks in front of my department every day just before leaving who is taking her home- when no else answers he comes to me and pushes “ you have her, right? Right?”
  No one else drives her - the boss would by she has pointedly told me that she does not want him to.
  Boss is making his anger know in that he is MUCH more critical of me than anyone else, crappy assignments and tone of voice when he speaks to me. 
  Company is about 500 but most work  from home because of COVID. We have an HR person but she is out working from home also

15
The Work Day / Rides, Recording and Rights updated5/25/2021
« on: January 14, 2021, 04:59:54 pm »
I started this job in October and one girl is increasingly a problem for me. She’s the most self centered person I know- and doesn’t drive, which in my mind should be her problem alone, but my boss seems to be very protective of her and thinks she should be driven home every day. It’s not far, less than a mile,BUT she either FaceTimes the whole way or records the ride- I am not comfortable with this and think I have the right to privacy in my own car. When I mentioned I did not like being recorded she refused to stop and said “I have rights “ — so I’ve stopped driving her and now my boss is angry with me.
   so I am wondering how you all would feel about it? And do you have suggestions to help with the push back from my boss?

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