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Messages - oogyda

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1
Entertaining and Hospitality / Re: Doing all the work on Holidays
« on: March 04, 2024, 06:28:28 am »
It's difficult to change the way things are "always done".  Often it's because we don't want to disappoint people and it tends to have a ripple effect. 

Our holidays have had marked changes every few years as families grow and move, children start school, older people become less mobile, etc.  Things change. 

I have one family member who I think would love to take over hosting any holiday so I would first discuss it with them and just make the switch without explanation.  Failing that, I would inform a select few and just see what ends up happening. 

2
Life in General / Re: Nesting Parties
« on: January 03, 2024, 10:35:30 am »
"Nesting" as it applies to pregnancy is an INSTINCT to prepare the "nest" or home for the newborn.

Most women experience it, but to varying degrees.  This sounds like a veiled request for people to come do work you don't want to. 

3
Weddings / Re: "Black Tie" wedding - question at the end
« on: November 25, 2023, 12:14:28 pm »
In my experience, people often overstate the formality of their weddings. 

Often, this is because they are declaring the formality of the wedding party and don't really expect the same from their guests.  Plus most people don't really know what the terms used in "dress codes" really means.

4
Entertaining and Hospitality / Re: Who is the host? . . . aka Friendsgiving
« on: November 13, 2023, 05:08:07 pm »
How did Friend get to be the one making the turkey against DD's apparent reluctance?

And did she actually agree or not? I mean, is Friend definitely cooking the turkey or is it still in question? And if so, what is DD making?

This event came up during a conversation I had with DD#1 a few weeks ago. She was wondering how to keep all the brought dishes warmed in the oven while there was a turkey in it. I offered to buy her a roaster oven, which I did.

I'm not sure where Friends offer of making the turkey came into play or whether DD#1 accepted Friends offer before I bought her a roaster oven. (Sorry, not exact details, just sharing with you what I know.)

Personally, I would want to do a test run with the roaster oven before I did a turkey.  Perhaps try roasting a chicken to get an idea of how it compares to the oven.

Then again,  I've been doing my turkeys on my gas grill for 20 + years.  It cooks a litlle faster on the grill, but it keeps the oven open for other things.

5
Entertaining and Hospitality / Re: Who is the host? . . . aka Friendsgiving
« on: November 13, 2023, 07:00:46 am »
DD1 and DHSam are. No question. Their invitation, their home. They’re responsible.

That said, when hosts issue an invitation for a contributory event, they have to work with whatever their guests are comfortable with providing / doing: they don’t get to issue orders, as ‘You: make a pumpkin pie! You: bring three different salads, one of which must include beetroot!’ You: come early and move the furniture!’ They have to use tact and cajolery to ensure that they don’t end up with, as the friend said, 5 salads and no main; and if there is any dish that nobody is volunteering to bring, they just have to provide it themselves.

I can well understand that someone who would be happy to roast a turkey in their own kitchen and bring it ready-cooked might reasonably be deeply unhappy to be voluntold to bring it raw and roast it in the host’s kitchen using unfamiliar equipment. It would totally freak me!

It is now DD1’s (backed up by DHSam) responsibility to decide how and by whom this turkey is to be cooked, without upsetting Friend.  I wish her luck!

I completely agree with the bolded paragraph.  Aside from being awkward and uncertain, it would involve the person in charge of the turkey to be there hours before everyone else.  I think the turkey could be wrapped and the drippings transported in a leakproof container.  That gives rise to the question of who will be preparing the gravy.

I love "Cajolery".  It's much more pleasant to the ear than "coercion" .

6
Life in General / Re: Not a question just a bit of a humurous travel story
« on: November 11, 2023, 06:58:22 am »
DH and I were flying out of a small(ish) airport for the first leg of a cross-country trip.  The 2 agents at the counter had already been dealing with a group of demanding people when it was announced that the flight was delayed due to mechanical issues that they were fixing.  That triggered the already demanding group to get almost hostile in their efforts to get on another flight in order to make their connections. 

Now, DH is an imposing figure due to his height and the way he carries himself after 20 years in the military.  Plus he has RBF (resting **** face).  The young woman who had just been dealing with this group looked up at him with a look I can't describe.  It seemed obvious she was steeling herself to endure more mistreatment.  She almost melted into tears when he actually smiled and asked if we could just get the same flight tomorrow.  We took the airport shuttle back to the hotel and had no problem getting our room back since it had not yet been cleaned.

It wasn't until we checked in the next morning that we found out she had upgraded us to first class for the entire trip.

7
The Work Day / Re: How do you deal with Upper Management . . .
« on: October 20, 2023, 07:53:15 am »
I can't hit the agree button more than once, but I would like to emphasize what EmmaJ and Aleko have said.  Di will keep doing what she's doing because it works.  It's up to you to establish boundaries and enforce them.

Nobody is going to value your time more than you, and you've shown that you don't. 

8
Technoquette / Re: e-begging
« on: October 19, 2023, 10:52:52 am »
My objection to the wrapping paper/cookie dough/sales fundraisers has always been the amount of money it costs the organization raising funds.  Normally, it's around 50%.  Frankly, I like to know that ALL of my money is going toward the effort. 

9
Food / Re: What do YOU do with potatoes?
« on: October 17, 2023, 07:59:24 pm »
When you are storing potatoes, don't clean them.  It's best if they have a layer of dirt on them and are stored in a cool, dark environment.

10
Weddings / Re: "Dressy casual" dress code for guests
« on: October 02, 2023, 09:15:30 pm »
I would be careful of the word "Barn" . . . don't necessarily think that it's dirt floors and animal pens filled with hay.

DD#1 went to a recent wedding and she was thinking the same thing. "It's in a Barn!? What do I wear?"

Yes, it was in a barn, looked like one from the outside. But it was beautifully refurbished in an elegant rustic sort of way. Wood floors and everything. ;)

You have the name of the venue from the invitation, right? Maybe look it up on-line just to see exactly what type of barn venue the bride is talking about.


I would be concerned with getting to and from the building ascwell.

11
Weddings / Re: "Dressy casual" dress code for guests
« on: October 02, 2023, 09:27:01 am »
I think DH could probably get away with no tie.

I think you will need to be careful of the heels on your shoes.  It sounds like the ground could be a little uneven ir "natural", so you would want to be aware of that.  The dress is lovely.

12
I think the tone you used probably already let know.

13
Or crowd sources to a local foodie FB page. I'm always amazed in my areas foodie FB groups when I see someone say 'I need a place between far out suburb and in town neighborhood and  that is under 3 blocks from interstate, is open on midnight, allows dogs, plays gypsy jazz and is both vegan and carnivore friendly" and people come up with recommendations.

OT: FYI, there is a movement to no longer refer to it as gypsy jazz as certain groups find the term offensive. I'm not sure that an updated name has been settled on, but I have heard this music style referred to as Jazz Manouche, French Swing, or Django Jazz. I certainly took no offense to your post, but in the effort to promote good manners, I thought that you might appreciate knowing that some people may take offense to the term. That said, your sentiment is 100% accurate... those groups are incredible at naming just the right joint for all of the needs. It's rather impressive!!!

Thanks for the insight. The band we go listen to still uses the term in their FB feed and description. So I'm assuming it is seen as offensive by some and not others. Sort of like how Hillbilly and Redneck are slurs that eventually became embraced by those who identified as one or the other.

Perhaps it's one of those terms that you can use if you are one, but is offensive when used by others. 


14
Food / Re: Sweet corn
« on: August 29, 2023, 12:11:10 pm »
Last week a friend called to see if I was home.  She was sitting in my driveway with a load of corn she and her DH had just picked and were delivering to friends. 

I had some with dinner that night.  Shucked it and spread a little olive oil and salt and pepper before I put it on the grill.  Soooooo good!


When my aunt was feeding a crowd, which happened frequently, she would put enough water in a deep pot to cover the corncob, then melt a coupld of sticks of butter on top.  One could dip their corn in and because the butter floated, it would coat the whole cob as you pulled it up, out of the pot.

15
Speak up!

"I hate to interrupt, but if we're going to miss rush hour traffic, we should leave now."


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