Author Topic: How much explaining would you do?  (Read 636 times)

PVZFan

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How much explaining would you do?
« on: October 01, 2020, 12:56:59 pm »
Since the old board, I've really worked on not JADEing. I had a strong belief that explaining something with reason and logic would work and, finally, got it that it doesn't and it generally serves as engaging the crazies.

My question for this scenario is would you explain and if yes, how much?

When I travel to Australia, I stay in a small apartment that I rent from an online booking site. I primarily use the online booking site because I earn rewards that I use to take long weekends with my husband. (These ones don't accumulate quite as fast as Hilton or Marriott points, but it's still a perk.) The other reason I use the online site is I can pay in USD and it makes my expense account a bit easier to do. Also, I'd have to call them to do it and that's the one of the few countries that isn't free on my phone plan.

I really like this property. My apartment is  quite nice, there's an Aldi and a Woolie's close by for my groceries, I can walk to church and the market, and, when it's warm, I take the light rail to the beach.

I've stayed here at least four times. Each time, at least once during my stay, someone reminds me to book directly with them and I can save 15%. (This property is already a bargain, comparatively. I've been told, "You know you don't have to stay that cheaply" by the person who does expenses.) I say, "Oh thanks for letting me know," and book again at the booking site.

The last time I was there, the owner checked me in. I was early and my room wasn't ready so he offered me a drink and we chatted for a while. He reminded me I can book directly and asked if anyone has told me that. I was clear that I'd been told and I just like the convenience of the site. Going into "I don't need to save the $, I prefer to spend in USD, and using the rewards to do something with my husband is the "bonus" for him for me being gone for a week," seemed like too much JADEing. (Also I was jetlagged and hungry and it felt like so. much. effort. Instead I was preferring to pepper him with a question or two and keep him talking.)

This is becoming a bit of a sketch comedy routine. I feel like explaining. So, would you explain and, if yes, how much would you say? I'm going to be hopeful and think that I'm getting back there in the next six months. :D (If we weren't in a pandemic, I would be leaving for there today.)

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oogyda

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Re: How much explaining would you do?
« Reply #1 on: October 01, 2020, 01:19:43 pm »
Since you were chatting while you waited for the room to be ready, I don't think that explanation would have been too much JADEing. 

I might have change the following:

 "I don't need to save the $, I prefer to spend in USD, and using the rewards to do something with my husband is the "bonus" for him for me being gone for a week, I enjoy the reward points as a little bonus" 
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DaDancingPsych

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Re: How much explaining would you do?
« Reply #2 on: October 01, 2020, 01:46:57 pm »
You had the ideal audience. The owner told you about booking directly (which I assume that they want you to do as they make more money without paying the booking company) and you have explained why you choose to use this booking company. If anyone could make changes so that booking directly was more appealing to customers like you, it was the owner. In this case I don't think you were so much as JADEing as you were providing business feedback. Maybe the owner will/can use it, maybe not. I don't think it would be wrong to give your reasons again, but I would think it would be a waste of breathe from here on out. So, I would probably use a simple phrase like "Thank you for the information" and then utilize the old bean dip. "Is the breakfast still served in the lobby?"

Now if provide your reasons and the staff attempts to argue with you, then I would say that you have entered a JADEing situation and I would definitely suggest that you provide nothing else.
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Hmmm

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Re: How much explaining would you do?
« Reply #3 on: October 01, 2020, 04:41:00 pm »
I think saying you liked the convenience of using the site was enough of an explanation. But I would not go into the fact that you are accumulating points and that you use the points for trips with your husband. He really doesn't care about that. He's only trying to encourage you to get rid of the middle man to reduce his costs.

When we try to justify or defend or explain our actions, it's usually in hope of getting the other person to see  it from your point of view and agree with your actions. You have very valid reasons why you like to use the site instead of direct booking. But no amount of explaining is going to get him to think "of course, your right, you shouldn't save me money."  ;)


Aleko

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Re: How much explaining would you do?
« Reply #4 on: October 01, 2020, 05:02:51 pm »
There's also the point that he might have been trying to tell you that it could save you money.

The deal that hosts make when putting their accommodation on booking sites is that they aren't allowed to advertise a lower rate than the booking sites charge. So, if say they have their own website with a booking form it has to offer the same price, i.e. their basic rate plus the booking sites' cut. But if you contact them directly and say 'What deal can you offer me?' they can quote you their basic rate.

You might well still reckon that it's worth paying the extra 10% or however much it is just for the convenience of paying in dollars and the points you'll earn. But it's not unreasonable of the owner to want to be sure you know how much cheaper it would be to book direct. And you never know, he might be able to take dollars.
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Xainte

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Re: How much explaining would you do?
« Reply #5 on: October 02, 2020, 07:26:21 am »

I can see situations where explaining might help someone understand your reasons and I thought this might have been one of them.  But either he doesn't listen or forgets...who knows. 

I also get where JADE-ing just invites arguments but I've always thought that explaining or not is a case by case kind of thing.  This old dance has clearly become one where you are tired of explaining and I don't blame you.

It gets old repeating yourself especially when you know it never registers.  I don't see any issues with a brief "Yes - I'm aware.  I have my reasons."  followed by a change of subject.  No thanking them, no rewarding them for not listening the first ten thousand times.

I think if he were to persist I think I might allow a bit of exasperation to show through.

NyaChan

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Re: How much explaining would you do?
« Reply #6 on: October 02, 2020, 08:04:40 am »
To me, the JADE concept is meant to be a tool when dealing with unreasonable people not a lifelong rule that Iíll never explain anything I do if someone asks or tries to suggest something to help me.  In this case tho, itís a business transaction and youíre the customer.  As long as you have basic courtesy and politeness, I think you get a good bit of leeway, maybe even to the point that you mention that he asks you every year and it has become almost a tradition
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Xainte

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Re: How much explaining would you do?
« Reply #7 on: October 02, 2020, 09:13:34 am »
 People often want to be helpful.  That's great to offer or inform once or maybe even twice giving a bit of grace for forgetfulness.  But....it's important to know when to back off. 

PVZFan

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Re: How much explaining would you do?
« Reply #8 on: October 02, 2020, 02:06:48 pm »
Thanks for the approaches, I think I'll use oogyda's idea next time. I haven't mentioned that I like the rewards because I think we could get into a "If you stay here 10 times, you can have a night here," then that goes to "My DH is not going to take on the 35 hour trip and I don't need a free night when I'm on expenses." FTR, I offer to take DH at least three times a year, he declines.

(The owner is a former pro-athlete who used his sports $$ for real estate; this is his only hotel so it's not like he'd have a free night somewhere closer to us.)
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bopper

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Re: How much explaining would you do?
« Reply #9 on: October 13, 2020, 01:39:09 pm »
I don't think it is JADEing to explain the first time why you are not booking directly...

"Oh, yes, I am aware, but the convenience of using US Dollars, not having to make an international call to book and the rewards points outweighs that for me. I do notice that you all mention this each time I stay here..perhaps you could put a note in my file that you don't need to?"

After that, if they keep asking, then you would be JADEing as you had made your decision and don't need to justify it further to them.

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