Author Topic: Is this intrusive?  (Read 1957 times)

Hanna

Is this intrusive?
« on: July 27, 2020, 03:34:47 pm »
I attended a "welcome to the neighborhood" party the other evening.  One of my new neighbors asked, "Are you registered to vote?"

Would it have been rude of me to ask her later if she flosses her teeth?  So many people don't and it's really crucial to our good health.


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sandisadie

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Re: Is this intrusive?
« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2020, 04:00:24 pm »
I don't see anything wrong with asking a new neighbor if they are registered to vote.  I don't consider that rude or intrusive at all.  Your new neighbor is probably civic minded and wants to let you know where or how you can register.  If they had inquired as to who you had voted for in the last election or what political party you belong to then I'd consider just why they were asking.
 Everyone who is of age to vote should be registered and should be voting.  Asking someone a personal question like "do you floss" would be rude.  I'm wondering now what you replied.  Would you care to share that?
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TootsNYC

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Re: Is this intrusive?
« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2020, 04:05:59 pm »
I think that especially because you're at a new address, it might be OK.

But I can also see why it may have felt a little intrusive. It's such a charged time, politically.

And HOW it was asked will absolutely flavor the question.

it's a bit like, "what church do you go to?" or "are you looking for a church home?" or "do you go to a church?"  Though that's more charged, because it assumes a belief, which voting sort of doesn't--since registering to vote and voting is something people of all political outlooks would do.
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Jem

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Re: Is this intrusive?
« Reply #3 on: July 27, 2020, 06:17:48 pm »
Asking if a person is registered to vote is not intrusive. Asking or sharing political viewpoints often is.

Depending on context a conversation might included asking if another flosses, but since I get the sense your purpose in hypothetically asking this question was to offend the person being asked, I do think that would have been rude (though I assume you didn't actually ask that)!

I agree with PPs who note that upon moving into a new community certain questions are more palatable also. For example, if I moved into a new community I might ask neighbors for gym recommendations and ask them which gyms they go to, if any. The purpose wouldn't be to insinuate that I think they should go a particular gym, it would be informative of what options for gyms are available in the area and which gyms people like.

Here, I assume the person wanted to let you know how to register to vote and perhaps explain where you physically would vote. A simple, "Yes, I am registered!" would suffice, or alternatively, "No - tell me how to register," or even, "No, I am opposed to voting."
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Hmmm

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Re: Is this intrusive?
« Reply #4 on: July 27, 2020, 08:45:37 pm »
I agree asking if you are registered is not really overly personal. In my state, we have Volunteer Deputy Registrars who can assist people with getting registered so the person could have a very valid reason for asking.

To me it would be like asking a new neighbor if they need recommendation on a local dentist.
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Rose Red

Re: Is this intrusive?
« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2020, 08:52:43 pm »
I don't think it's personal but it would be strange to be asked unless you were talking about politics/voting/elections or something like that.
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lakey

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Re: Is this intrusive?
« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2020, 10:20:35 pm »
Quote
Everyone who is of age to vote should be registered and should be voting.

I don't necessarily agree. If people don't care about issues, or don't put any effort into informing themselves, I don't see the benefit of their voting. Most people I know do care, and I think that we are better off if they vote. I do know a couple of people who are just not interested in what goes on locally, statewide, or nationally. I don't mind them skipping the voting process.

As far as the original post, I don't think there's anything rude about asking if a person is registered, as long as the question is aimed at being helpful, perhaps letting them know how to register. If I were new to a neighborhood, I would assume that that was the motive.

NyaChan

Re: Is this intrusive?
« Reply #7 on: July 27, 2020, 11:24:49 pm »
  I don’t think it’s intrusive.  If they’d asked who you were going to vote for, I’d think they’d gone too far for someone they only just met, but this far isn’t too far in my opinion.
« Last Edit: July 27, 2020, 11:26:37 pm by NyaChan »

Oz Diva

Re: Is this intrusive?
« Reply #8 on: July 28, 2020, 04:41:24 am »
It’s not something you ever get asked here because it is compulsory to vote. It is a rather judgemental question in the US though.

STiG

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Re: Is this intrusive?
« Reply #9 on: July 28, 2020, 07:32:05 am »
I'm going against the grain and saying that it is an intrusive question.  It is really no one else's business if you are registered to vote or not.  There are reasons why you might not be - not a citizen, for example.  And thus starts an awkward conversation that could have been avoided.

Now, if the conversation has been political in nature and the OP has been expressing her opinions in the discussion, it might be OK to ask that question.  Or offer direction on how to get registered in that area.  'If you aren't registered to vote in this county, you can go to X place to get it done.'  And leave it at that.

Here, you can be registered to vote if you tick the box when you are doing your taxes and the information is shared between CRA and Elections Canada.  I believe the Elections Canada information is also shared Provincially.  Municipally, it is taken from the tax role.  If there are members of your household that aren't on the deed of the house who are of voting age, they'll have to be registered once.  I think I did it by phone.  So there would really be no need to ask the question or give direction.
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lowspark

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Re: Is this intrusive?
« Reply #10 on: July 28, 2020, 10:33:48 am »
I don't think it's intrusive. I know lots of people (on both sides of the aisle) who are interested in getting people registered and voting. So my guess is that she was asking so that if you aren't, she could whip out a Voter Registration card for you to fill out. It wouldn't bother me at all.

As others have said, as long as she didn't tie it to who you're going to vote for or what your party affiliation is, it's fine. Those folks that I know who like to get people registered NEVER ask about or imply any political preferences.

However, it clearly did bother you. So, in your place, I might have answered, "I've got it covered, thanks" or something else responsive but non-committal.

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Lilipons

Re: Is this intrusive?
« Reply #11 on: July 28, 2020, 10:34:59 am »
I don’t think it’s intrusive.  If a family is new to the neighborhood, many questions aren’t intrusive that might otherwise be so. 

‘Are you looking for a church to join?’, might be one.  I know that’s a standard question for newcomers in the South. Many people do shop for churches.   

‘Are you looking for a new doctor/dentist.  Dr. X is very good with children.’

It’s also common to recommend good places to eat and buy groceries or not.  ‘Food Flood is very expensive in general but their bagged coffee beans are only 2/3 the price of similar coffees at other neighborhood places.  We have two good shops for produce that often have price wars. You can’t beat a nice bunch of scallions for 33 cents or a pound of nice grapes for 1$.   


All these suggestions or questions are just considered part of being a good neighbor.v. I see the question about registration as another one of these.   

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Songbird

Re: Is this intrusive?
« Reply #12 on: July 28, 2020, 11:21:53 am »
I serve as a committeewoman for a political party.  If you were my neighbor, and I asked you that question, my follow up would be to offer to help you register, if you chose to do so.  I don’t think most people would consider that intrusive.

Now, if I followed that up with “vote for my party/candidate...” I think most people would consider that intrusive and inappropriate in a social situation.
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Violet Bandit

Re: Is this intrusive?
« Reply #13 on: July 28, 2020, 05:37:01 pm »
I think it is intrusive. The question would put me on my guard if I were in a room full of relative strangers. As STiG said, one might not not be a citizen or be otherwise  ineligible to vote and not want to get into a discussion about it. I’d be likely to consider the question a first step in trying to  scope me out politically which I don’t like.

If you think a newcomer needs information about registering, don’t put them on the spot. It’s simple enough to ask him or her if they need information about registering and leave it at that. 

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Chez Miriam

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Re: Is this intrusive?
« Reply #14 on: July 29, 2020, 04:44:55 am »
I'm fairly sure that we (legally) have to register to vote in the UK, if we are UK citizens, and that some foreign nationals can register to vote.  I wish we had the Australian system of being required to vote combined with the US system of being able to vote for "None of the Above", but we don't, so I just comply with the law as it is.  [I vote because I feel that those who don't make the effort shouldn't bleat about how we are governed.  If they are silent in their complaints/non-voting, I don't make it my business.]

So, to me, it seems like asking a person if their car is insured [legally, if it's on the road, it is supposed to be insured by law]; it feels a little "judgy" rather than intrusive, and the people most needing to be asked [by the police, not me!] may be the people most likely to say "yes" when what they mean is "no".  I'm just guessing on that, but I watch enough court TV to know that lying is a popular alternative to complying with the law.  I would regard the (hypthetical) question about flossing as (slightly) more intrusive, because there's no legal requirement for a person to take care of their dental health. :'(

I wouldn't ask the question, because I wouldn't want to be seen to be starting a discussion about politics.  [I might engage in one (though mostly now I just keep my big mouth zipped; I want to keep my friends of all political persuasions), but I wouldn't start one.]
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."  - Julian of Norwich