Author Topic: S/O - Remembering old threads - picky eaters (Read 3670 times)

WorkingMum · « **on:** October 07, 2020, 05:03:04 am »

So I've been looking through the above mentioned and then got lost in the old eHell threads on webarchive. I found this one : https://web.archive.org/web/20150120081131/http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=135683.0

It prompted me to think about when I was a child (11 years old). I had a friend who asked me to spend the weekend with her. I loved this friend and my parents deemed her parents acceptable. I had a pretty normal lower class upbringing which did not include any fancy foods or anything not typically available at the discount grocery store. They had a small property and some livestock and mostly lived off their land.

The only milk they had in their house was goat milk from their stock (goat milk at that time as pretty much unheard of - this was in the 1980's, and no-one told me it wasn't normal cows milk). That's what i got offered with my cereal for breakfast. I took a mouthful and tried very hard not to spit it out, and said "I don't like that".

For years, her parents reminded me of that day and i found it very embarrassing. I have made sure to teach my daughter to say that something "isn't to her taste" if she doesn't like it. I wish my parents had given me the tools to deal with situations like this.

Does anyone else have any stories how you have dealt with food you didn't like/couldn't stomach?

SureJan · « **Reply #1 on:** October 07, 2020, 08:35:57 am »

When I was very young (maybe 7) I was invited to eat dinner at a friend's house for the first time. They were planning on having chicken for dinner and asked if I preferred white meat or dark meat - I didn't know what that meant and was to embarrassed to ask so I just said "dark meat". When it came time to eat the chicken was on the blackened/burnt side - I ate it because that's what they were serving but for YEARS afterwards I thought "dark meat" chicken meant that it was blackened

and I couldn't understand why anyone would do that on purpose.

On the other side of the coin, my childhood best friend's mom made 100% the best boxed macaroni and cheese in the universe. I later found out that her "secret ingredient" was to add 2 slices of American cheese to make it extra creamy. BUT the real difference was that she followed the recipe and used 2% milk plus a little butter while my own mom used no-fat milk and skipped the butter all together!

(In this context American cheese was a very mild and melty cheese, slightly better quality than the individual slices wrapped in plastic)

shadowfox79 · « **Reply #2 on:** October 07, 2020, 08:42:45 am »

I can remember my friend's mother promising us real roast potatoes with dinner, which I liked the sound of since my mum made fantastic roast potatoes, so I was expecting the same.

Turned out her idea of roast potatoes was throwing boiled potatoes into the chip pan. They tasted terrible.

Fortunately for me my parents had drilled it into me that I was to eat everything and pretend I liked it, so I think I convinced her. It did give me a new appreciation of my mum's cooking anyway.

BeagleMommy · « **Reply #3 on:** October 07, 2020, 08:43:39 am »

My father's boss had my family to their home for dinner one evening. Boss's wife made a beef roast. They were originally from New England and, according to them, ate beef the way all New Englanders do...rare.

I have never been able to stomach rare beef. Even beef cooked to medium makes me nauseous. I have to eat it medium well.

I asked to have the two end pieces of the roast because I knew they would be more cooked.

shadowfox79 · « **Reply #4 on:** October 07, 2020, 08:48:26 am »

Quote from: BeagleMommy on October 07, 2020, 08:43:39 am

My father's boss had my family to their home for dinner one evening. Boss's wife made a beef roast. They were originally from New England and, according to them, ate beef the way all New Englanders do...rare.

I have never been able to stomach rare beef. Even beef cooked to medium makes me nauseous. I have to eat it medium well.

I asked to have the two end pieces of the roast because I knew they would be more cooked.

That's how we used to do it when my dad made roast beef and DH was there. DH likes his beef well done, Dad liked his blue, so the end pieces were the best bet.

Amara · « **Reply #5 on:** October 07, 2020, 01:07:28 pm »

I have two from different points in my life. The first was as a child in the fifties and sixties when my mom, who had been taught to boil vegetables to death, made spinach. Ever seen boiled-to-death spinach with those long trailing stems? Yeah, it doesn't get any better when it gets cold and that's how it would always end up because I had to stay at the table until I ate it--which I never did. I would stay there for hours when it was time to go to bed. And o this day I cannot see or be around any cooked spinach, or any other cooked leafy green, without automatically feeling my stomach begin to heave. (Better have a bathroom nearby because I will need it very soon.) I can't even eat it if it is hidden by, say, blending it into a smooth soup or smoothie with fruit. I can eat it if it is only the leaf, not the stem, raw in a salad but it better have other leafy greens with it.

Second, on a trip to Tahiti I was invited to a real luau, not one for tourists. Poi was served. I tried it and my automatic reaction was a face that showed how truly awful I thought it tasted (and probably an accompanying gag. I did swallow that bit but I am sorry to say I also probably insulted our hosts. I didn't mean to but, really, that stuff is vile, truly an acquired taste, likely acquired only by growing up eating it.

sandisadie · « **Reply #6 on:** October 07, 2020, 02:47:16 pm »

As a child growing up in the 1940 and 50's we always had to stay at the table until we ate all on our plate. That meant a serving of everything that was for supper. We had a huge veggie garden and my Mother always planted yellow crookneck squash and white pattypan squash. She would chop these up and cook them until they were mostly mush. I hated that and would gag whenever I had to eat it. So one meal I was trying to choke down this stuff and vomited it back into my plate. I didn't do that on purpose but my stomach just wouldn't keep it down that time. Never had to try to eat that again!! To this day I don't like any kind of squash, but will eat some of it if it is almost raw. I never buy it and don't prepare it myself.

STiG · « **Reply #7 on:** October 07, 2020, 04:16:55 pm »

I grew up with 'No thank you' helpings. A tablespoon sized serving of whatever I said I didn't like, three times. After that, if I still didn't like it, I didn't have to eat it. I wouldn't get extra helpings of something else, though, unless there was extra, which for a few lean years, there wasn't. So if I was out at someone's home and it was serve yourself, I'd take a small serving of whatever and manage to choke it down, hopefully without showing it wasn't something I liked.

I remember when we were in the middle of moving our house (the actual house, not just contents), a neighbour offered to take me to her house for dinner. She served baked beans, which I didn't like. But that's what there was and I ate them. Mom asked me later what I had for dinner and when I told her, she asked me what I'd done. 'I ate them'. She was very happy with me.

Not a picky eater story but we showed a friend of mine something that probably horrified her proper English parents. During the lean years, Mom would serve a roast and it was either very small or she would be saving the rest for the next night or for sandwiches. So if you were still hungry, you tossed a piece of bread on your plate and poured gravy on it. One night, my friend was over and my brother grabbed a piece of bread. She was looking around the stuff in the middle of the table to see what he was doing and just had to try it. I'm sure she showed her sisters and horrified her parents. LOL

chigger · « **Reply #8 on:** October 07, 2020, 05:31:20 pm »

Quote from: sandisadie on October 07, 2020, 02:47:16 pm

As a child growing up in the 1940 and 50's we always had to stay at the table until we ate all on our plate. That meant a serving of everything that was for supper. We had a huge veggie garden and my Mother always planted yellow crookneck squash and white pattypan squash. She would chop these up and cook them until they were mostly mush. I hated that and would gag whenever I had to eat it. So one meal I was trying to choke down this stuff and vomited it back into my plate. I didn't do that on purpose but my stomach just wouldn't keep it down that time. Never had to try to eat that again!! To this day I don't like any kind of squash, but will eat some of it if it is almost raw. I never buy it and don't prepare it myself.

When I was a small child, I hated marinara sauce, so at home, I had pasta with butter and cheese. My father passed away suddenly when I was five years old. My brothers and I were sent to a neighbors house while arrangements were being made. Of course this nice woman made spaghetti with marinara, and I vomited on her plate. She was so shocked, and I remember her saying "Do you do that on your plates at home?". I was so ashamed, but I was taught to eat what was on my plate, and I tried to, but could not keep it down.

malfoyfan13 · « **Reply #9 on:** October 07, 2020, 05:52:06 pm »

My son used to say "I'm full" when he was offered something he didn't like. He was a very picky eater as a child. We'd ask him to try things and sometimes he would but mostly not. He didn't eat a hamburger until he was 19 (didn't like ground beef for some reason) and that was only because he was very hungry and we were at a relative's house so he had to eat what they had. He loved burgers after that but he still won't eat meatloaf.

The Marine Corps apparently cured his picky eating forever; he now seems to eat pretty much everything, even mushrooms which he would never eat as a child. I noticed after he returned from service that his eating was pretty eclectic. Luckily his daughter (age 3) is not overly picky and will try most things, even if she ends up not liking them.

LifeOnPluto · « **Reply #10 on:** October 08, 2020, 05:29:24 am »

Quote from: Maude on October 08, 2020, 03:27:38 am

I've noticed in recent years that parents are almost training their children to be picky eaters. When it's getting on towards dinner time, the parent asks the child "What do you want for dinner? " . The child states his /her choice as if from a menu eg Macdonalds!!! When the answer is NO then a tantrum ensues because , from the child's point of view, "You asked me what I wanted, I told you, and now you say no! "

Parents need to lead their children, not follow.

I am not a parent, but I've heard a good tactic is to offer the child a choice of two or three items. Eg "Would you like chicken, or pasta tonight?" That way, the child feels they have some say in the matter, without necessarily calling all the shots.

Soop · « **Reply #11 on:** October 08, 2020, 07:20:27 am »

My story is a bit opposite(?) to picky. I was staying at a friend's house whilst my parents were away. Nearing dinner time, friend's mom asked if I would like Liver or Steak. I said Liver to her surprise. She told my parents when they returned and my dad has told the story for the last 40 years.

I still love liver (and kidneys and sweetbreads), but also now love steak. Back then, my older sister didn't like steak, so I followed her lead. It was one of the few things we could reject. My mom would make us a bunless burger instead. But really looking back, I also didn't like steak because every piece of meat in the house was cooked to death. That was okay-ish for roast beef, because you could slather it with gravy, but there was no sauce for steak. I now eat my steak rare.

BeagleMommy · « **Reply #12 on:** October 08, 2020, 08:42:17 am »

Quote from: LifeOnPluto on October 08, 2020, 05:29:24 am

Quote from: Maude on October 08, 2020, 03:27:38 am
I've noticed in recent years that parents are almost training their children to be picky eaters. When it's getting on towards dinner time, the parent asks the child "What do you want for dinner? " . The child states his /her choice as if from a menu eg Macdonalds!!! When the answer is NO then a tantrum ensues because , from the child's point of view, "You asked me what I wanted, I told you, and now you say no! "

Parents need to lead their children, not follow.

I am not a parent, but I've heard a good tactic is to offer the child a choice of two or three items. Eg "Would you like chicken, or pasta tonight?" That way, the child feels they have some say in the matter, without necessarily calling all the shots.

BeagleDaddy and I both worked full-time while BeagleBoy was small. We did not have time to make more than one entrée for dinner when we got home. If we were having chicken, BB ate chicken. Our rule was "try three bites". After three bites if he didn't like something he didn't have to eat it. We always encouraged him to try anything food he wanted. We ended up with a child who would eat anything that didn't try to eat him first. Parents shouldn't behave like short-order cooks. I think may be one of the reasons he went into the culinary world. However, to this day he can't eat eggs. He just doesn't like them in any form.

Luci · « **Reply #13 on:** October 08, 2020, 10:58:26 am »

I used to host family dinners for about 35-40 people twice a year. One was the turkey dinner and the other a grilled picnic luncheon. A niece always asked for a peanut butter sandwich and my SIL let her get away with it, so I just went along with it. My saying, "No" wouldn’t have done any good and just stir things up. Years later, she apologized to me about that and thanked me for complying.

Our son was about six and and I told him if didn’t eat 10 peas he couldn’t leave the table. He sat at the table until bedtime. He is now a very opinionated and stubborn 50 year old. I know that is not the way to get a child to eat now according to experts.

vintagegal · « **Reply #14 on:** October 08, 2020, 11:22:53 am »

Quote from: LifeOnPluto on October 08, 2020, 05:29:24 am

Quote from: Maude on October 08, 2020, 03:27:38 am
I've noticed in recent years that parents are almost training their children to be picky eaters. When it's getting on towards dinner time, the parent asks the child "What do you want for dinner? " . The child states his /her choice as if from a menu eg Macdonalds!!! When the answer is NO then a tantrum ensues because , from the child's point of view, "You asked me what I wanted, I told you, and now you say no! "

Parents need to lead their children, not follow.

I am not a parent, but I've heard a good tactic is to offer the child a choice of two or three items. Eg "Would you like chicken, or pasta tonight?" That way, the child feels they have some say in the matter, without necessarily calling all the shots.

Growing up we were given two choices - take it or leave it.

Strangely, I have distinct memories of sitting at the table to finish something long after others had left, but I can't remember what the food was. I wasn't a picky eater, the only things I can remember not liking were egg salad, cream of wheat, and rice pudding. And lima beans.

Bad Manners and Brimstone

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Author Topic: S/O - Remembering old threads - picky eaters (Read 3670 times)

WorkingMum

S/O - Remembering old threads - picky eaters

SureJan

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shadowfox79

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BeagleMommy

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shadowfox79

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Amara

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sandisadie

Re: S/O - Remembering old threads - picky eaters

STiG

Re: S/O - Remembering old threads - picky eaters

chigger

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malfoyfan13

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LifeOnPluto

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Soop

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BeagleMommy

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Luci

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vintagegal

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