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Author Topic: The Rules of Meal Time  (Read 679 times)

sandisadie

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The Rules of Meal Time
« on: July 03, 2020, 06:36:00 pm »
I thought it might be fun to talk about what rules you have in place for the meal times at your house.  In our house, for the evening meal, we recently decided that two topics would no longer be up for discussion in any way.  One is politics or political personalities.  The other is COVID19.  We realized that we were forever bringing up something about these topics every dinner time and these discussions were annoying and not good for our digestion! 

Our other rules that have been in place forever are:  no cell phones or other electronic devices at the table.  We don't have a TV or radio on. We always eat the evening meal together, but not breakfast or lunch.  We try to eat around the same time for dinner every day.

What do you all do?
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NyaChan

Re: The Rules of Meal Time
« Reply #1 on: July 03, 2020, 11:11:35 pm »
No stealing or licking food on my plate.  If you are allowed to eat it, it will be put on a plate for you and put in front of you. To be honest, no amount of admonishing seems to work to enforce this rule so I tend eat pretty fast.
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vintagegal

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Re: The Rules of Meal Time
« Reply #2 on: July 04, 2020, 06:38:09 am »
well I live by myself, so no rules. Breakfast is eaten in the kitchen, other meals and snacks in the LR while watching videos on the PC. (my TV substitute). When DH was alive, we had a rule, no reading at table unless you were alone.

For a while, I had a stepsister who would go ballistic if someone else was getting butter from the other end of the stick that SHE was getting butter from.
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oogyda

Re: The Rules of Meal Time
« Reply #3 on: July 04, 2020, 09:46:07 am »
Quote from: NyaChan on July 03, 2020, 11:11:35 pm
No stealing or licking food on my plate.  If you are allowed to eat it, it will be put on a plate for you and put in front of you. To be honest, no amount of admonishing seems to work to enforce this rule so I tend eat pretty fast.

Please tell me it's a pet you're referring to!!
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Lilipons

Re: The Rules of Meal Time
« Reply #4 on: July 04, 2020, 09:54:13 am »
There’s just the two of us and we’re retired but there are several rules. 

Reading is permitted at the table only at breakfast and the reading should be news.

Lunch will be accompanied by a local jazz station unless the station is playing something really weird. 

Dinner will often be prefaced by a cocktail and the jazz station will again be invoked to simulate a visit to a cruise ship cocktail lounge.  Dinner may be a bowl of soup and a hunk of bread but the fiction must be maintained.  The cocktail, however will be genuine.

Shirts and a nether garment suitable to be seen in public are de rigeur for meal service in the Pons household.



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Wanaca

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Re: The Rules of Meal Time
« Reply #5 on: July 04, 2020, 11:16:55 am »
No feeding the cats at the table.  We have nine indoor-only cats and none of them beg at mealtimes because we've never fed them from the table.

No disgusting topics at the table.  DH grew up in a family where any topic was okay.  But I won't allow it.

No TV but that isn't an issue because our TV is in the basement rec room.

No electronic devices but DH occasionally breaks this rule and it drives me crazy.

Absolutely no clearing the table until everyone is finished.  I eat very slowly.  It drove me crazy when we first got together when DH would start to clear the table and do dishes when I was only half finished with my meal.  He's learned to relax and talk with me (and he no longer inhales his meal in two minutes flat).

Meals are always at the dining room table and not in the living room.

Soft music is okay in the background but no news or talk radio.

Although not rules, we always use cloth napkins and we silently pray before meals at home.
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guihong

Re: The Rules of Meal Time
« Reply #6 on: July 04, 2020, 11:46:35 am »
We rarely eat meals together, it just didn't happen.  Dinner's left on the stove and it's serve yourself, just bring in the dishes.  We are a close family, so this doesn't bother us.  We don't really eat out (pre-virus) as DD has misophonia and restaurants are a trial, not a pleasure.

Rather than my own family, this topic reminds me of the different rules DH and I had growing up, specifically communication styles at meals.  My family was like Parliament; everyone had a chance to speak, no interrupting allowed.  I wonder if this was partly because my father was nearly deaf and couldn't hear if there were a lot of voices going on.  He was also a very formal man by personality.

DH's was the opposite.  Everyone talks at once, the louder ones overpowering quieter ones.  When we were first married, I kept waiting for my "turn" at dinner with his family and then got angry at DH when I never got to speak! 

Maybe we never quite found a compromise between the extremes, and that's why we usually eat apart. 



« Last Edit: July 04, 2020, 11:48:55 am by guihong »
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Aleko

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Re: The Rules of Meal Time
« Reply #7 on: July 04, 2020, 12:23:48 pm »
Quote
No stealing or licking food on my plate.

Mine is the exact opposite - absolutely NO dumping food you don't want for yourself on my plate with a benevolent beam, as who should say 'Look how generous I'm being to you! Eat it all up, darling!'

My late Viennese Jewish grandfather used to do that and my parents and we kids all hated it.  And now I have a MIL who does it, if you aren't very fast and recalcitrant. I remember once DH and I went out to a restaurant with MIL and step-FIL. She ordered grilled sardines, and we had barely started on our meals she decided that she had more fish than she could eat. Did DH or I want a sardine? No thanks, we said firmly. Them she turned to step-FIL and asked him. Now, poor step-FIL was already rather Parkinsonian, and couldn't talk all that well or move very fast. So he didn't reply instantly: and, I kid you not, she waited no more than a second before picking up that sardine on her fork and trying to dump it on his plate, right in the middle of his steak. But DH and I both kind of lunged forward and prevented her putting it down, while shouting 'Oi! Wait for him to say if he wants it!'.  He was able to mumble that no, he didn't, so she was foiled (though she tried several times more during the meal to persuade one of us to take it). But for heaven's sake: what a way to behave! How can anybody take it on themselves to decide that SURELY a person would just love to have a fish plonked into their steak?

So whenever we have MIL over, or eat at her house, we have to watch MIL for any preliminary moves so we can say in good time 'No, B, don't even think of parking your unwanted chips on me! Put them down!' 

(Don't get me wrong: I was also brought up in a frugal post-war British household, and in a family environment I'm all in favour of people saying, when people are far enough on in their meal to know if they have spare capacity, to say 'These are yummy but I don't think I can manage them all. Would you like one?' But there's no excuse for pestering people after they have said no, and still less for shoving it on their plates without asking.)
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Winterlight

Re: The Rules of Meal Time
« Reply #8 on: July 04, 2020, 12:34:29 pm »
No feeding the dogs at the table. My mom was the one who broke that rule first, and now our spaniel sits on my dad's legs and demands tribute when he's in his easy chair.

I live alone, so my rules are eating at the table and no snacking. The latter only happens when I'm up really late, so I try to get to bed on time.
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NyaChan

Re: The Rules of Meal Time
« Reply #9 on: July 04, 2020, 04:40:27 pm »
Quote from: oogyda on July 04, 2020, 09:46:07 am
Quote from: NyaChan on July 03, 2020, 11:11:35 pm
No stealing or licking food on my plate.  If you are allowed to eat it, it will be put on a plate for you and put in front of you. To be honest, no amount of admonishing seems to work to enforce this rule so I tend eat pretty fast.

Please tell me it's a pet you're referring to!!

Yes! Lol I live alone w a cat
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baritone108

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Re: The Rules of Meal Time
« Reply #10 on: July 04, 2020, 06:32:53 pm »
When my kids were still at home our rule was you could not comment on the food on someone else's plate.
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TaurusGirl

Re: The Rules of Meal Time
« Reply #11 on: July 04, 2020, 09:10:56 pm »
My one big rule is there *must* be a radio or TV on, or other background noise. I absolutely cannot stand eating noises (even my own!); they literally make me ragey.

I'm also a fan of "don't take food off my plate", and waiting til everyone is done eating before clearing the table.   
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Rho

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Re: The Rules of Meal Time
« Reply #12 on: July 04, 2020, 10:58:23 pm »
Aleko:
"My late Viennese Jewish grandfather used to do that and my parents and we kids all hated it.  And now I have a MIL who does it"

Now that you told us all about your grandfather--what is MIL Nationality and Religion?
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vintagegal

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Re: The Rules of Meal Time
« Reply #13 on: July 05, 2020, 06:56:21 am »
Quote from: baritone108 on July 04, 2020, 06:32:53 pm
When my kids were still at home our rule was you could not comment on the food on someone else's plate.

This was one of my late DH's pet peeves, and I agree. What is to be gained by commenting, "OMG, you are eating a peanut butter and sardine sandwich??!! How could you?"
Just be quiet and be glad you're not the one eating it.
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Lilipons

Re: The Rules of Meal Time
« Reply #14 on: July 05, 2020, 09:41:21 am »
Remarks about what others are eating should follow the same rules for comments on personal appearance.  The only thing permitted is some variation on ‘Ooh, that looks good!”
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