Author Topic: “We just got here.”  (Read 1505 times)

Violet Bandit

“We just got here.”
« on: September 21, 2020, 10:19:08 pm »
My husband and I went out for a late lunch yesterday afternoon. It was after three pm when we arrived at the restaurant and there were very few customers in the place. Not ten minutes after our food was served our server came by, dropped off our check and asked us if she could bring us any boxes. We had barely started to eat.

I felt that we were being rushed and for no reason. I responded, matter-of-factley, not snidely, not in an angry way, “we just got here.”  The server seemed offended by my response.

Would the server’s actions have bothered you? Would you have said anything?

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Nikko-chan

Re: “We just got here.”
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2020, 10:48:49 pm »
If she was still snide after you explained you just got here, I would put down my fork, ask for a manager, and when the manager arrived I would explain that we would NOT be paying for our meals, because apparently we weren't supposed to even eat in the restaurant, and we hadn't even eaten yet, and that I would be taking my business elsewhere, where it was actually wanted. Then I would get up and leave, and go somewhere else.


Lkdrymom

Re: “We just got here.”
« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2020, 06:09:38 am »
yes she was wrong.  My guess is that it was the end of her shift and she wanted to clear your table (and get her tip) before she left.
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oogyda

Re: “We just got here.”
« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2020, 07:04:12 am »
It would annoy me.  But, I would continue to eat my lunch at my normal pace. 

If, as sometimes happens, a manager comes through inquiring as to our satisfaction, I would most definitely let them know my displeasure. 

If the wait person returns expecting to pick up my payment, I would ask for a manager. 

If the wait person waits an appropriate length of time to collect payment, I would conclude the transaction but not leave a tip. 

If this is the kind of place where I have to pay at the counter on my way out, I would let them know my displeasure.  And not leave a tip. 

And I would probably not return to the restaurant. 

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BeagleMommy

Re: “We just got here.”
« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2020, 07:59:34 am »
She could have brought the check, set it down, and said "I'll take this when you are ready".  This way she presented the check without indicating you needed to hurry up and eat.  By asking if you wanted boxes only 10 minutes into your meal she gave the impression (intended or not) that she wanted you to hurry up and finish.

I would have mentioned it to the manager.
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gellchom

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Re: “We just got here.”
« Reply #5 on: September 22, 2020, 08:08:21 am »
yes she was wrong.  My guess is that it was the end of her shift and she wanted to clear your table (and get her tip) before she left.

I bet this is correct, especially given the time of day.

Yes, she’s wrong, and I would have felt the same way.

However, she did not make you leave, she just made you feel a bit rushed, and it was after ten minutes, not right when you got your food.  She didn’t say anything wrong, she just said it a few minutes too early.  Too bad she didn’t say, “whenever you’re ready” or “take your time.”  But it’s not like she said, “Eat it and beat it!”

I wouldn’t have liked it, either.  But a major reaction could cost her her job, and it really wasn’t that heinous. I might feel a little less generous, but I wouldn’t deny her her tip over it. As others have said, if a manager had come by and asked if everything was fine, I might mention it, but I wouldn’t seek one out over this.
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DaDancingPsych

Re: “We just got here.”
« Reply #6 on: September 22, 2020, 08:08:40 am »
Yes, it would have bothered me. Servers can get distracted and she may not have realized how much time had passed (or not), but you can tell if someone is still eating relatively easily. Etiquette wise, my understanding is that servers should not provide the check until the diners are finished. I have mixed feelings about this. It can feel like the server is rushing you out the door. I have also been in the situation where we might have order desert if it was offered, but the restaurant missed out. I have also been in the situation where you are sitting and waiting on the check and that can make you late if you have other plans.

I don't know that I would have said anything other than something like "We just started eating, so I don't know yet. Can I answer when we are finished?" If this was the only issue, I would let it go.
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lowspark

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Re: “We just got here.”
« Reply #7 on: September 22, 2020, 08:29:16 am »
Some restaurants close between lunch service and dinner service. Are you sure that the restaurant was still open past the time you were there?

Not that that excuses your server's behavior. If they were open long enough to cook and serve your food, then they need to remain open long enough for you to eat your meal without being rushed.


Hmmm

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Re: “We just got here.”
« Reply #8 on: September 22, 2020, 08:31:15 am »
Yes, this might have bothered me depending on circumstances. But not to the point that I would have brought it up to management, left in a huff, or left without tipping.

I think instead I would have answered with a smile and "Not right now but we'll let you know if we do want them later."

Depending on the style of restaurant, that could be a bit of a normal practice. My sister and I ate at a very casual style diner a few weeks back in a small town. I noticed that even though dinner service was just really getting started, the waitress brought out the check a few minutes after our meals were delivered and left it on the table. She also asked if we would need any to go boxes. I noticed that a lot of the other patrons were getting to go boxes brought to their tables. The portion sizes were very large and most tables left with at least 1 to go container.

Sometimes it is just poor training. Sometimes if at lunch rush, guests are trying to get in and out quickly and do want checks brought early and to go containers handy so they can quickly leave.
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Rose Red

Re: “We just got here.”
« Reply #9 on: September 22, 2020, 09:44:02 am »
To me, it depends on her tone. I would have said "no not yet, we're not done yet," and then gauge her tone and attitude. Sorry, but "we just got here" would put me on the defensive no matter the tone.

I'm a fast eater and sometimes I *wish* they'll drop off the check after 10 minutes. And the portions in the US can be ridiculous. Many times I've left with food that didn't look like I've taken one bite. So the waitress might not have a good sense of time and if a customer is finished.
« Last Edit: September 22, 2020, 02:13:53 pm by Rose Red »
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Lula

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Re: “We just got here.”
« Reply #10 on: September 22, 2020, 12:37:15 pm »
I'd chalk this up to a bout of obliviousness before anything else.  I certainly wouldn't go into Karen mode unless she persisted after I'd straightforwardly told her I was nowhere near being finished with my meal.

Edit: I found a stray word lying around and realized it was mine.
« Last Edit: September 24, 2020, 04:10:45 pm by Lula »
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Andi_3k

Re: “We just got here.”
« Reply #11 on: September 22, 2020, 01:08:09 pm »
It would annoy me and I’d  of return- I once had a waitress bring out boxes and a check WITH our dinners- manager said the waitress did nothing wrong. I t was one of the few times I didn’t leave a tip — never went back either

holly firestorm

Re: “We just got here.”
« Reply #12 on: September 22, 2020, 02:01:08 pm »
If she was still snide after you explained you just got here, I would put down my fork, ask for a manager, and when the manager arrived I would explain that we would NOT be paying for our meals, because apparently we weren't supposed to even eat in the restaurant, and we hadn't even eaten yet, and that I would be taking my business elsewhere, where it was actually wanted. Then I would get up and leave, and go somewhere else.

You do that nowadays and half the people there would call you a "Karen."

On the other hand, I would be pretty annoyed if the server gave me attitude like that, too.  I think I'd check how long I was really there and if I still thought she was unreasonable I'd bring it up to her/him, like, "We just got our meal 7 minutes ago. How long do people usually take to eat their lunch?" I might even suggest to her that a less huffy attitude would increase her tips. If she still had that attitude then I would ask to speak to the manager (and to heck with any schoolyard insults the server or anyone else threw my way) and ask for a different server, explaining why. I'd only leave without paying if the manager had the same attitude.

TootsNYC

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Re: “We just got here.”
« Reply #13 on: September 22, 2020, 02:07:13 pm »
It would annoy me and I’d  of return- I once had a waitress bring out boxes and a check WITH our dinners- manager said the waitress did nothing wrong. I t was one of the few times I didn’t leave a tip — never went back either

That would actually bother me far less than it would if she came about 10 or 15 minutes later.
Dropping them all off with the meal feels like an efficiency thing: "I don't want you to have to flag me down unless you need something extra."
Maybe it could feel like, "Here, I'm done with you--don't bother me again," but I wouldn't think that immediately.
    Of course, delivery method and words said would greatly influence that. if she said, "Here you are, just in case. Flag me if you need anything else," that would be one thing. If she dropped it off dismissively and walked off without a word, that would influence it.


Coming when I was halfway through would feel like she thought I should be done already.


chigger

Re: “We just got here.”
« Reply #14 on: September 22, 2020, 03:04:58 pm »
If she was still snide after you explained you just got here, I would put down my fork, ask for a manager, and when the manager arrived I would explain that we would NOT be paying for our meals, because apparently we weren't supposed to even eat in the restaurant, and we hadn't even eaten yet, and that I would be taking my business elsewhere, where it was actually wanted. Then I would get up and leave, and go somewhere else.

I think that's a bit extreme!

ETA: OP said the server "seemed offended", she didn't say the server was "snide" or had an attitude.
« Last Edit: September 22, 2020, 03:11:23 pm by chigger »
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