Author Topic: PA Facebook friend  (Read 1641 times)

Reika

PA Facebook friend
« on: June 12, 2018, 09:29:41 am »
Today a friend asked all of her FB friends to limit political comments on their walls because she was tired of it. None of us tag her or post to her wall so those of us who are politically active politely objected to someone wanting to censor our walls. A couple of us suggested how to filter what she sees.

Her response was that she should just leave  FB. This isn't the first time she's made this threat when something didn't go her way and I'm struggling to stay polite.

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Pattycake

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Re: PA Facebook friend
« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2018, 09:37:14 am »
If she brings it up again (leaving FB), could you say something like "Well, we'll miss you if you do that, but do what you gotta do"?
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TootsNYC

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Re: PA Facebook friend
« Reply #2 on: June 12, 2018, 10:31:26 am »
Her response was that she should just leave  FB. This isn't the first time she's made this threat when something didn't go her way and I'm struggling to stay polite.

Why do you need to respond at all?
That would be polite.
You can roll your eyes privately--and maybe coming here to do so with some company (here, I'll join you:  ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ) will help you bite your tongue.

One thing I've really, really learned living in NYC is that there is NO gain in letting people know what I think of them.

My mother also taught me that people are actually entitled to be who they are--even if they're annoying. I don't have to APPROVE of them being so, but they're entitled to it.
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TootsNYC

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Re: PA Facebook friend
« Reply #3 on: June 12, 2018, 10:32:25 am »
If she brings it up again (leaving FB), could you say something like "Well, we'll miss you if you do that, but do what you gotta do"?

Or, you could say, "Well, before you leave FB, you might want to be sure you have others ways to contact the people you care about, like phone numbers and stuff."

Just take her at face value.
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Reika

Re: PA Facebook friend
« Reply #4 on: June 12, 2018, 11:16:16 am »
If she brings it up again (leaving FB), could you say something like "Well, we'll miss you if you do that, but do what you gotta do"?

Or, you could say, "Well, before you leave FB, you might want to be sure you have others ways to contact the people you care about, like phone numbers and stuff."

Just take her at face value.

All of the suggestions are good, but I think I'll take your first suggestion, Toots, and just not respond to her latest attempting at flouncing.

And yes, there was much eyerolling on my part. :)

kckgirl

Re: PA Facebook friend
« Reply #5 on: June 12, 2018, 11:25:34 am »
My mother used the "people you may know" feature to connect with some of my friends. One is much more conservative than she, and she made some sort of smart remark on a political post of his. I sent him a private message and asked him to unfriend her. In the meantime, I logged into her Facebook and hid him from her timeline (and I'd do it again in a heartbeat). She never knew and he has since unfriended her.



I don't like political posts, but I can do just what the OP's friend can do, scroll on by. If someone is totally annoying with constant political posts, she can hide the person's posts while remaining Facebook friends. I've done that, too. It's really simple.
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Reika

Re: PA Facebook friend
« Reply #6 on: June 12, 2018, 11:33:33 am »
I don't like political posts, but I can do just what the OP's friend can do, scroll on by. If someone is totally annoying with constant political posts, she can hide the person's posts while remaining Facebook friends. I've done that, too. It's really simple.

Yeah, I just scroll on past the things that just make me twitch, or block the source if it's from a page or similar. Some friends I just unfollowed and every so often check up on their page. I'm still confused about why she took the responses that we did so personally.

TootsNYC

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Re: PA Facebook friend
« Reply #7 on: June 12, 2018, 11:43:22 am »
maybe she got "poked" (in a way that stunk) somewhere else that she can't retaliate, and you guys are safe (toddlers always misbehave the moment Mom shows up to take them away from the playdate, because they feel safe letting off steam with her).

Or maybe something elsewhere suddenly framed things in a certain way for her.

Or maybe she hasn't been getting enough sleep.

DaDancingPsych

Re: PA Facebook friend
« Reply #8 on: June 12, 2018, 11:45:04 am »
Friend cannot expect others to sensor to her needs/wants. That is her responsibility. Just like the OP cannot expect Friend to sensor about not wanting political discussions. So, if someone posts a PA remark like this, I either scroll on or make the desired changes to my account. There is a new to me feature about Snoozing for 30 days. I am assuming that that individual's posts will not appear in my news feed for 30 days. I did not have to unfriend and it has given me a break from certain types of posters that were getting to me.

dani321

Re: PA Facebook friend
« Reply #9 on: June 12, 2018, 12:21:53 pm »
I get your friend's point, because I also get really tired of seeing the political posts - BUT, reasonable people do not ask other people to change what they post about on social media. I see a lot of things on social media that annoy me, and I either keep scrolling, or unfollow the person if they habitually post annoying things, whether political or tons of selfies or oversharing, etc. If I saw someone publicly asking their friends to limit certain types of posts, I'd just ignore it, but probably unfollow them out of annoyance, whether I was in the group they were targeting or not. Toots made some really good points on the side of keeping our opinions to ourselves and I will join you in the eye rolling party  ::)  ::)  ::) but I wouldn't "engage the crazy", because a grown person who first tries to police others' social media use, then "threatens" to quit Facebook when she doesn't get the response she wanted, is just a little cray cray and has proved that she can't be reasonable.
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pierrotlunaire0

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Re: PA Facebook friend
« Reply #10 on: June 12, 2018, 06:01:58 pm »
I had a friend whose posts were growing increasingly political, and skewing in a way that bothered me.  I just blocked her posts, although I still see when she responds to other friends' posts (where she is never political).  It has worked out great for me.  No offense.  In fact, I doubt she would ever know that I did that.  Also, none of our mutual friends had to put up with any unpleasantness as well.
I have enough lithium in my medicine cabinet to power three cars across a sizeable desert.  Which makes me officially...Three Cars Crazy

Bada

Re: PA Facebook friend
« Reply #11 on: June 12, 2018, 06:35:46 pm »
These are the same people who refuse to unfollow anyone because they like to see their dog/cat/kid pictures, they just don't want the politics.

Meh. My MIL's page got too political so I unfollowed her. If she asks if I saw XYZ cute thing on her page I say no but I'll have to check it out.
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GardenGal

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Re: PA Facebook friend
« Reply #12 on: June 12, 2018, 06:48:00 pm »
I'd just ignore her, as her request is unreasonable and her threat is a play for attention and getting her own way.  If you want to stay in touch with her, let her know you'd like her contact info so you can do so.
No matter where you go, there you are - Buckaroo Banzai

Pandorica

Re: PA Facebook friend
« Reply #13 on: June 12, 2018, 06:49:12 pm »
I get really tired of the political posts on FB too (from both sides).  If someone is particularly vitriolic or prolific, I'll unfollow.  Otherwise, I just scroll on by.  I recently joined some high-volume "fun" groups, so I tend to see those posts more.
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Reika

Re: PA Facebook friend
« Reply #14 on: June 12, 2018, 07:44:10 pm »
Thank you everyone, I was afraid I was being the unreasonable one.

I'm glad I employed Scritzy's Coke Rule before I responded to her flounce, so I'm just going to let it go and guess she's having a bad day.