Author Topic: I'm miffed.  (Read 1744 times)

jpcher

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I'm miffed.
« on: October 22, 2019, 04:29:06 pm »
I really don't think there's anything I can do about this but it bothers me.

There's a relatively new admin (4-5ish months) that works for a new Director (8 months or more).

When I first met Director she said "Oh, I've heard about you. You are legend." Which I thought was a rather nice compliment.

Trust me, it's not because of the compliment, but because she's a Director (big-wig) and Director's projects usually get bumped up on my schedule.

A couple of weeks ago Admin asked me for a quick turn on a project and I told her that deadline was pretty tight and asked if there was some wiggle room. She said "Absolutely!" and gave me an extra week to complete the project . . . red flag. Okay, her quick turn deadlines aren't necessarily rush jobs. Got it.

I was out of office yesterday. I did not have an OOO message on my voice mail, but I did on my email (my usual form of communication).

Today, when I went in, there was a "Missed Call" on my email, but no message. Immediately after that there was an email from the same person (SP) who works with Admin asking me a question that I did not know the answer to. So I asked my "Little Miss Know-it-All" (LOVE this woman!) if she knew who the question should be directed to. And, as usual ;), it should have been directed to her, not me. So I forwarded the message to LMKIA.

LMKIA said "Ugh! I know . . . blah, blah, blah, I received an email from Admin concerning the question. I haven't responded yet, but I will."

Less than two hours later LMKIA responded and copied me on her email chain. Apparently SP got Admin involved, and this was not something that needed an immediate reply.

I read through the email chain and . . . this is what I'm miffed about . . . Admin's opening email to LMKIA started with "After getting the run-around from jpcher and (other person) I thought maybe you might know the answer . . ."

After getting the run-around?! What run-around? I was OOO for one day!

Admin copied Director.

Sigh.

Any thoughts?

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TootsNYC

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Re: I'm miffed.
« Reply #1 on: October 22, 2019, 04:52:08 pm »
When someone makes me look bad in front of a big cheese in some way, I don't let it stand.
And I deal with it in person


I'd walk over and in a very nice manner, say, "I saw your email with the question--since it wasn't really a question for me, I proactively forwarded it to Little Miss Know-It All, so I did get your answer for you. Glad to help.
   "But I wanted to point something out. You used the term "got the run-around," and said you "got the runaround" from me, specifically. You used my name.
    "That term is inaccurate, and it makes me look particularly bad in front of the director. I didn't give you the runaround--I was out of the office for a day, and there was no message that I could have accessed from home. I had to wait for the next day to respond.
    "That's not a runaround. And in fact, I went above and beyond to make sure the answer got to you, which I didn't necessarily have to do.
    "Please be careful of the wording you use when you talk about your colleagues. If I've genuinely dropped the ball, I'm happy to hear about it from you. But I didn't appreciate you making me look obstructive and uncooperative when I absolutely was not.
   "We don't need to have a big dialogue, and I'm not going to loop someone else in to complain. I'm just letting you know that this was problematic wording."

In short, "You made me look bad with your word choice, and it was inaccurate. So I don't appreciate it. Don't do that again. I promise--I would never do it to you."
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browzer11

Re: I'm miffed.
« Reply #2 on: October 22, 2019, 11:19:03 pm »
Be very careful when you chastise a superior. No boss likes to be talked down to.

Your response Toots, (which looks like something you might say to a child), could get you fired or blacklisted.
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mrs_deb

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Re: I'm miffed.
« Reply #3 on: October 23, 2019, 06:09:53 am »
I didn't get the impression that Admin is jpcher's superior; either her peer or subordinate.  Jpcher, can you clarify?
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Jem

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Re: I'm miffed.
« Reply #4 on: October 23, 2019, 09:17:19 am »
I didn't get the impression that Admin is jpcher's superior; either her peer or subordinate.  Jpcher, can you clarify?

Regardless, I still agree with browzer11. NO ONE likes to be talked down to. It seems like the admin sent the email that offended jpcher to LMKIA, and presumably LMKIA knows what actually happened. I would think the director would not be micro-analyzing emails s/he is cced on, and wouldn't want to be involved in a tiff between employees of this nature. Presumably the SP got jpcher's OOO email so it's not like SP didn't know she was OOO. I get that jpcher is irked by the wording (I would be too) but I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Much like a "recalled email" (which never works) I think it would only highlight the admin's phrasing and make all of you look bad and petty.

In the future, I would be certain to have the OOO on both the phone and email.
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lowspark

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Re: I'm miffed.
« Reply #5 on: October 23, 2019, 09:24:10 am »
Regardless of whether Admin is jpcher's superior, she is, apparently, her customer. And as such, I don't think it's ever a good idea to chastise a customer. However, it might be a good idea for jpcher to respond in such a way as to defend herself without being snarky or disrespectful.

Dear Admin,
I'm so sorry that you felt I was giving you the runaround on this issue. That was not my intent, but rather, I wanted to direct you to the person who could be most helpful. LMKIA has much better knowledge on this topic than I do, and so is better suited to answer this question for you.
Please feel free to call on me at any time. I am happy to answer questions as I can, or to help you determine who might better help you if I can't.
Love,
jpcher

(haha, you can leave out the "love" part)

Anyway, this clarifies your part in the conversation and why you forwarded the email, and hopefully goes toward mollifying Admin, but it also gives Director a bit of explanation. Best response makes you look good without making others look bad.
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DaDancingPsych

Re: I'm miffed.
« Reply #6 on: October 23, 2019, 10:16:25 am »
I think that this is a case of tone is everything! I would not approach Admin yelling and screaming and ranting. I would not say it with a condescending or "how dare you" attitude. But I think it wise to take along the lines of "You might not have realized that your wording said" fashion. Without further background information, I would assume the best of Admin. Maybe it was a poor choice in words. Maybe it was a rather rotten day. Either way, I do think that it's worth saying something.
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jpcher

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Re: I'm miffed.
« Reply #7 on: October 23, 2019, 06:22:55 pm »
I didn't get the impression that Admin is jpcher's superior; either her peer or subordinate.  Jpcher, can you clarify?

Admin is in no way my superior, she's a customer just like many other admins of directors that I do work for.

Directors (admin's) requests for projects go to the top of the line because it eventually goes to CEO's perusal and approval.


I don't know Admin well enough that I could approach her in person (don't even know where she sits). I've only met her once, when she first started, all other conversations have been through email, and I'm a bit uncomfortable with putting some of the things posters have suggested in writing. KWIM?

However, I tend to agree that something should be said. I like a lot of your responses. Just not sure how to approach.


QueenFaninCA -- you've disagreed with several posts here. I'd like to hear your thoughts as to how you would deal with this situation. Honestly curious.
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NyaChan

Re: I'm miffed.
« Reply #8 on: October 23, 2019, 11:54:09 pm »
I really don’t think the director read down that far and even if they did, your track record should help mitigate the negative wording used.  I would try mentioning in person “Admin, I noticed in the email chain from X question that you felt you were given the run-around when trying to get an answer.  I wanted to make sure you knew that I take all queries and requests seriously and wanted to discuss what may have caused you to think that.  I sent the request to the correct person as soon as i was back in the office and figured out where it should go - is there a different way you expected me to handle it?”
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Jem

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Re: I'm miffed.
« Reply #9 on: October 24, 2019, 08:04:46 am »
I really don’t think the director read down that far and even if they did, your track record should help mitigate the negative wording used.  I would try mentioning in person “Admin, I noticed in the email chain from X question that you felt you were given the run-around when trying to get an answer.  I wanted to make sure you knew that I take all queries and requests seriously and wanted to discuss what may have caused you to think that.  I sent the request to the correct person as soon as i was back in the office and figured out where it should go - is there a different way you expected me to handle it?”

I think this is good. One thing I meant to say earlier and did not was that if it were me I would have forwarded the request to the correct person with a cc to the admin so everyone is on the same page. "Admin, I have cced you on my email to LMKIA. She will be able to answer the questions. LMKIA, see the questions below and provide answers directly to admin. Thank you!"
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TootsNYC

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Re: I'm miffed.
« Reply #10 on: October 24, 2019, 10:03:57 am »
I do like NyaChan's wording and approach.

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AnnaT

Re: I'm miffed.
« Reply #11 on: October 27, 2019, 10:27:40 pm »
I would just ask something along the lines of "I thought I had my 'Out of Office' on - did you not receive the notification when you sent that email?  I'll have to follow up with IT about that."
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jpcher

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Re: I'm miffed.
« Reply #12 on: October 28, 2019, 05:02:47 pm »
I decided that since this is something that should have been brought up in the moment and some time as elapsed that I will let it go.

However! If something like this happens again (whether or not with the same person) I have some great advice through all of your responses! I appreciate every single reply.


Thank you for helping me stay on my toes. ;D
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