Bad Manners and Brimstone

This is so sad!  I just read another article about a family (and probably others on the same street) who all received anonymous letters from a neighbor complaining that the Christmas lights decorating homes are cruel symbols of privilege to those who CAN'T AFFORD A SIMILAR DISPLAY or are offensive to people who don't celebrate the holiday and should be turned off.

Or, as one wag said "I think I read that I should put up even more lights."

People seem to want to be offended by EVERYTHING these days.  Someone brags on Facebook that they finally lost the last 10 pounds of the 150 pounds they needed to be rid of and it's:  "Please stop talking from your place of privilege.  Not everyone can or wants to lose weight.  Some of us believe we look beautiful just as we are and you suggesting that being overweight by 150 pounds is unhealthy is offensive to those of us who don't care to waste time being thin."  Did you win an award for your creativity?  "Not everyone has the ability or talent to draw and it is shameful that you are making so much of this frivolous thing when people are starving."  Honestly, I have asked coworkers if they will be upset if I give them a compliment because it has been beaten into my head that giving compliments is every kind of "ist" there is.  (I have a coworker in particular who can turn her hair into the loveliest designs and styles and they are eye popping.  I look forward to what she will do next.  But I am scared that saying so will be considered some sort of condescending smack.)

People would rather be bland and angry and OFFENDED by any little joy or happiness their neighbors might have.  At least, that is what I see, more and more among people I once thought of as intelligent, smart human beings.  It scares me a little.

In the US in the past few years people have been given the apparent right to say and do the ugliest things ever.  This co-worker is just following this trend it seems to me.  I would call her out for being a bully.  As long as she isn't the boss then I think it is ok to just ignore her.  When people show you who they are they should be treated accordingly.  Plain talk might be proper in this instance instead of trying to be tactful.

Quote from: ZekailleTasker on December 11, 2020, 08:19:44 pm

... (I have a coworker in particular who can turn her hair into the loveliest designs and styles and they are eye popping.  I look forward to what she will do next.  But I am scared that saying so will be considered some sort of condescending smack.)...

People would rather be bland and angry and OFFENDED by any little joy or happiness their neighbors might have.  At least, that is what I see, more and more among people I once thought of as intelligent, smart human beings.  It scares me a little.

On another forum, sewists were discussing other folks' reactions to the clothes they created. One actually said she was offended by any reaction verbalized at all, because she didn't dress to impress people, it wasn't her responsibility to provide a pleasing appearance to others, and nobody should say anything. [sigh] Another was frustrated by comments like "What a wonderful costume! Are you performing somewhere?" She chose to dress in re-creations of a particular time period. I used to smile and say something like "Pretty outfit" when I saw a dress or ensemble that inspired the comment, but not any more.

When things other people do annoy or offend me, I Google comedian Steve Hughes and his take on being offended. I watch it twice with a glass of water.

If you are looking for offense, you will surely find it.

On another forum, sewists were discussing other folks' reactions to the clothes they created. One actually said she was offended by any reaction verbalized at all, because she didn't dress to impress people, it wasn't her responsibility to provide a pleasing appearance to others, and nobody should say anything. [sigh] Another was frustrated by comments like "What a wonderful costume! Are you performing somewhere?" She chose to dress in re-creations of a particular time period. I used to smile and say something like "Pretty outfit" when I saw a dress or ensemble that inspired the comment, but not any more.

I suggest you don't let people like this stop you from giving compliments. Don't be bent to their will and set aside your own nature and way of connecting with people, just because they choose to take it in the worst way possible. They have no right to impose that on others. Just remember to avoid complimenting that person, and if someone is bothered by a comment offered in kindness, that's on them.

I remember going to the Dyer Heights holiday display a few years ago.  It was a wonderful thing, if a bit surreal.  People of all religious persuasions were there.  Orthodox Jews and women wearing hijabs were there with their husbands pushing strollers.  The display was so well-known that there were even tourist buses from Manhattan parked at the edge of the neighborhood.

Although vehicular traffic is banned, residents do have to get in and out.  Mr. Pons once directed traffic while a local lady backed out of her driveway.

“Wow!  This must drive you nuts!”

‘Well, it does but it’s only for a few weeks and it makes so many people happy”.

I think that says a lot about the value of holiday lights.