I'll be honest--my eyes glazed over. It's too long, it's too wordy, sentences are too long, tht's all kinds of "argument" and "Logical steps" that frankly he knows if he's got half a brain.
I think you should start over, and you should FIRST just write down in two sentences, what do you want to know?
'Will I qualify for unemployment?" is the core, right?
And then maybe "If X, I will not qualify for unemployment. I want to persuade you that you should give me X."
Then you can add just a little more framing. But really this is a simple question.
Two paragraphs, each 'graph only about 6 sentences.