It was common for me to send an instant message with not "Hi, Tim" and wait for a response but instead I'd send "Tim, when can you send me your update" or even just "please send the update by end of day."
This is actually a bit of a pet peeve of mine. And it's going to make me sound anti-social, but believe me, I'm not!
I serve internal customers in my job and have the philosophy that, to the best of my ability, I should make every customer feel like they are my one and only customer. So regardless of what I'm in the middle of working on, if someone sends me an instant message, I like to respond immediately.
So if they say, "Hi Lowspark" and then nothing else, apparently waiting for me to say "hi" back, before they just go ahead and tell me what they need, it's annoying*. Because then I've interrupted my work unproductively, and I now have to wait for their next message to find out what they want. And then, if they come back with "how are you" it's another wasted exchange.
I would prefer they just let me know their question or issue. If they really want to go through the pleasantries, that's fine, but just string it all together.
"Hi Lowspark! How are you today? Can you please do xyz for me?"
Then I can reply with the "hi, fine, how are you" string, and my response to their request.
Maybe this sounds cold. And there are certain people who I have an interpersonal relationship with where it's not just innocuous pleasantries but a real interest in each other's lives, so that kind of conversation is more normal and welcome. But I have a lot of customers I've never met, many of whom live in different states or countries, and if they need something from me, I'd much prefer they just get right to the point.
Regarding the exchange with the cashier at the grocery store (as an example), I always take my cue from them. If they ask how I am, I'll reply and ask back. If they just say, "did you find everything you needed?" I'll reply "yes, thanks." But I don't remember ever initiating the "how are you" or "Happy [insert holiday here]" with them.
*Notwithstanding my annoyance, I do play the game and respond according to their lead. I'm just not a fan of it.
I feel the same way actually. So I do the "Hi, Tim. I'm needing to chat. Let me know when you're free". Or Hi, Tim, I have a question about the report you sent." But I get it a lot from people who use instant messaging like they would a phone. If they called me and said "Hi, Hmmm" they'd wait for me to respond not just launch into "Hi, Hmmm, I'm calling about the annual report".
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