Author Topic: We don't miss you  (Read 2226 times)

Hmmm

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Re: We don't miss you
« Reply #30 on: December 02, 2019, 12:47:24 pm »
Not even a little bit.

I donít like lying.

You can "not lie" without being rude.

I didnít think it was rude. If you ask me if Iíve missed you, Iím going to assume you wanted the truth.

But, they don't want the truth.  They want their ego stroked and I've had far too emotionally needy people in my life to want to play that game. 

I'm not setting out to be hurtful.  If I were, I would tell you my feelings without being asked.  That's being polite and kind.
SioCat, do you feel like everyone has a right to your private thoughts?  That's how I think about this. Just because someone asks how I feel about something, does not mean I have an obligation to share it.  I don't think it's rude to deflect; actually it's a matter of self-preservation sometimes.

Heehee.... can you imagine corporate life if we had to tell our boss every time you thought they made a bad decision?
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Titanica

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Re: We don't miss you
« Reply #31 on: December 02, 2019, 01:15:30 pm »
Not even a little bit.

I donít like lying.

You can "not lie" without being rude.

I didnít think it was rude. If you ask me if Iíve missed you, Iím going to assume you wanted the truth.

But, they don't want the truth.  They want their ego stroked and I've had far too emotionally needy people in my life to want to play that game. 

I'm not setting out to be hurtful.  If I were, I would tell you my feelings without being asked.  That's being polite and kind.

Telling someone you don't miss them is being polite and kind?  Good lord.
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bopper

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Re: We don't miss you
« Reply #32 on: December 02, 2019, 04:02:15 pm »
"It's definitely different without you there"
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oogyda

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Re: We don't miss you
« Reply #33 on: December 03, 2019, 07:46:32 am »
Not even a little bit.

I donít like lying.

You can "not lie" without being rude.

I didnít think it was rude. If you ask me if Iíve missed you, Iím going to assume you wanted the truth.

But, they don't want the truth.  They want their ego stroked and I've had far too emotionally needy people in my life to want to play that game. 

I'm not setting out to be hurtful.  If I were, I would tell you my feelings without being asked.  That's being polite and kind.

Telling someone you don't miss them is being polite and kind?  Good lord.

Wow!  I know what I was thinking, and that's not it.  I meant that my not telling you my feelings without being asked is being polite and kind.

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jpcher

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Re: We don't miss you
« Reply #34 on: December 04, 2019, 04:18:40 pm »
Not even a little bit.

I donít like lying.

You know . . . I've been reading this thread and following all the comments to the above response. Thought about it for a while before I responded.

I think there are two ways that this truth-telling response can be delivered.

1. With a scowl, a vigorous shake of the head and a bit of anger which would present a "now go away" attitude. This, I think, would be rude.

2. Or with a ha-ha joking attitude. This delivery, I think, would lighten the mood while allowing someone to speak the truth. Plus the recipient of the comment would probably brush it off as in "She's such a kidder."



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Victoria

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Re: We don't miss you
« Reply #35 on: December 10, 2019, 02:21:30 pm »
Not even a little bit.

I donít like lying.

The question itself is disingenuous. The asker knows that the only socially-acceptable answer an effusive expression that she is in fact missed. She's seeking validation, not asking a genuine question.  The most flattering interpretation is that she's just making conversation. But just as not everyone who asks "How are you?" needs a full and complete recitation of the facts, I don't think that politeness dictates you answer with a large, well-rounded response to this particular question.
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Copper Horsewoman

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Re: We don't miss you
« Reply #36 on: December 12, 2019, 05:11:40 pm »
"Oh, we're coping." with a smile.
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ZekailleTasker

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Re: We don't miss you
« Reply #37 on: December 18, 2019, 11:22:20 am »
It's been fine.
We sure noticed your absence.

This.

The charming young woman I nicknamed Eve (who was trying so hard to get me fired, she turned me into a pin cushion with her backstabbing) quit a few months ago for another job. She drops in periodically hoping to hear that she is missed.  Everyone says the same thing "It's SO quiet." 

My father used to recite a poem about questioning just how important you are to a business.  The idea was that whenever you start thinking you are more important than you are,  you should stick you hand into a bucket with water, then take it out.  The space left by your hand coming out of the water is how much you will be missed.  In other words, not at all.


UPDATE:

Found it--The Indispensable Man


The Indispensable Man

(by Saxon White Kessinger)

Sometime when you're feeling important;
Sometime when your ego 's in bloom;
Sometime when you take it for granted,
You're the best qualified in the room:
Sometime when you feel that your going,
Would leave an unfillable hole,
Just follow these simple instructions,
And see how they humble your soul. 

Take a bucket and fill it with water,
Put your hand in it up to the wrist,
Pull it out and the hole that's remaining,
Is a measure of how much you'll be missed.
You can splash all you wish when you enter,
You may stir up the water galore,
But stop, and you'll find that in no time,
It looks quite the same as before. 

The moral of this quaint example,
Is to do just the best that you can,
Be proud of yourself but remember,
There's no indispensable man.
« Last Edit: December 18, 2019, 11:26:05 am by ZekailleTasker »
"Imagine," drawled Alyce "being so bored you seek boredom to complain about how boring the experience is.  If Ennui and Emo had a baby and allowed it to be raised by Indifference, THAT would be our Flora."  Mallory Jean Hardcastle "The Cautious Density of Flora"
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