Bad Manners and Brimstone

Hey all, this is my first time posting on the new forum, I was a regular on the old one, as JulesCanada.

Anyhow, I need some impartial advice. My sister in law is a wonderful lady, I love her dearly, but she has very bad odour. I don’t know what causes it, both my sister in laws have the same problem. When I was coming back from vacation last summer, they picked me up at the airport and I nearly hurled the whole ride home, and the smell stuck to me so bad, I had to jump in the shower as soon as I got home.

My dilemma is that the more ripe of the two invited me to an out of town concert in May of next year (that is if it doesn’t get canceled due to Covid), and we would have to get a hotel room. I would love to go, but after the malodorous ride from the airport, I kind of sketchy about going. How do I tell her without really getting into details? I don’t even think that they realize that they smell offensive.

You have two sisters-in-law and both have the same problem?  That seems unusual.   Do they both really have really bad body odor or is there some fragrance that both wear that for some reason you find particularly offensive?

I had similar questions. Do they live together? Do you think it is poor hygiene, or possibly something they eat or a medical issue? Is this something recent or has it always been an issue and getting worse?

Unless you think you can bring up the issue tactfully, I think it would be best to either come up with an excuse of why you'd need your own room. You could say you are having issues with sleeping. But you'll still have the issue of staying in the car with her for the ride.

I'm wondering the same thing. Is it BO or something else? Medicinal cream? Food odors that cling? Perfume (musk makes me gag)?

I think knowing the source may help us give better advice.

Agree, if it's something medical you can point them to seeking consultation/ treatment.


I think it's a kindness to mention it if you're close to the person. I'll acknowledge that it's really uncomfortable and hard to do. It's a vicious cycle no one wants to say anything but people start avoiding the person, as the person gets isolated the odor can worsen. I remember telling a kid in 6th grade that she had horrible foot odor. Everyone was talking about it and no one would be around her; she cornered me and asked me what was going on. I just said it. I don't think I softened it with "You might not have noticed" either. I just blurted it out. (I really liked her and couldn't lie to her and I felt so on the spot.)

That actually cemented our friendship all through middle school. Apparently her family had noticed it and they weren't saying anything! She asked for foot powder or something to help with it and they were all, "Thank goodness you figured it out!" I remember thinking, "What good is having a family if they aren't going to tell you or help you with this?!" I saw her mother at Sam's Club and, almost 40 years later, it was the first thing I thought.

Stupid question. Have you noted the odor other than this one car ride?

Yes, I do think describing the odor would be helpful. I would address it depending on what you believe the cause might be.