Author Topic: Told my friend about "that won't be possible". Worked beautifully (Read 2575 times)

Lilac · « **Reply #15 on:** June 16, 2019, 06:13:00 am »

The landlord knows and doesn’t care.

I highly doubt there is a shortage of reputable renters in the Bay area, one of the tightest and costliest housing markets in the nation. Danielle could take her pick.

I am so surprised by the mistrust so many here have, with all the dire scenarios painted for how David might be taken advantage of. I guess we’ve had drastically different experiences in meeting friends of friends.

Rose Red · « **Reply #16 on:** June 16, 2019, 09:50:18 am »

I don't think anyone mistrust the ex. But it's not wrong to not want guests in your home, especially strangers.

If anything, the mistrust is implying Danielle will kick him (a friend) out at anytime in retaliation if he says no. What kind of friend do you think would do *that?* Why keep bringing up how there are many renters in the Bay Area so he better watch out? This doesn't seem very kind to her.

HenrysMom · « **Reply #17 on:** June 17, 2019, 07:23:00 pm »

Quote from: Rose Red on June 16, 2019, 09:50:18 am

I don't think anyone mistrust the ex. But it's not wrong to not want guests in your home, especially strangers.

If anything, the mistrust is implying Danielle will kick him (a friend) out at anytime in retaliation if he says no. What kind of friend do you think would do *that?* Why keep bringing up how there are many renters in the Bay Area so he better watch out? This doesn't seem very kind to her.

I think in David’s case, his response should be based on how well he knows her - is she a laid-back person who can accept ‘no?” Or is she a person who would be vindictive if she doesn’t get her way?

I grew up in the Bay Area, and I can attest that a rent-controlled apartment in that city (for instance, SF or Berkeley) up for a sublease is a rare and wonderful thing. When rents are high even in a suburb 50 miles out, being able to pay a reasonable amount is something David shouldn’t take lightly.

Tea Drinker · « **Reply #18 on:** June 17, 2019, 07:34:16 pm »

Quote from: Lilac on June 16, 2019, 06:13:00 am

The landlord knows and doesn’t care.

I highly doubt there is a shortage of reputable renters in the Bay area, one of the tightest and costliest housing markets in the nation. Danielle could take her pick.

I am so surprised by the mistrust so many here have, with all the dire scenarios painted for how David might be taken advantage of. I guess we’ve had drastically different experiences in meeting friends of friends.

It only takes one or two people with attitudes like "why don't you give him a chance?" and "but she's family," or a tendency to see the best in everyone even when that means ignoring obvious character flaws or worse, to make someone hesitant to say "sure, your friend I've never met can stay in my apartment."

Some friends of mine used to have a very large annual party; at some point they changed the rules from "sure, bring whoever" to "no friends of friends, and introduce us to everyone new." I'm not sure if they had something go wrong at their party, or if this was because of something they heard elsewhere--but the set "everyone I know, anyone they like enough to ask along, and anyone those strangers in turn ask along" is large enough that there's a nontrivial chance that it will include someone you don't want at your party because they can't be trusted not to drop things over the edge of the roof, or think insulting people's looks or accents is funny.

Babsie · « **Reply #19 on:** March 22, 2021, 06:54:09 pm »

Just came across this and have an update. Danielle moved back to SF and she and David are now roommates. She pretty much camps out in the living room all day, working from home, and he goes out to work. They seem to have a good roommate relationship. Both respect the others space, cook together, hang out together. It's good she kept the place, and now that she's back, he's paying less money, too.

vintagegal · « **Reply #20 on:** March 23, 2021, 09:41:59 am »

Quote from: Babsie on March 22, 2021, 06:54:09 pm

Just came across this and have an update. Danielle moved back to SF and she and David are now roommates. She pretty much camps out in the living room all day, working from home, and he goes out to work. They seem to have a good roommate relationship. Both respect the others space, cook together, hang out together. It's good she kept the place, and now that she's back, he's paying less money, too.

I hope he is paying reduced rent now.

TootsNYC · « **Reply #21 on:** March 23, 2021, 09:45:07 am »

Quote from: vintagegal on March 23, 2021, 09:41:59 am

Quote from: Babsie on March 22, 2021, 06:54:09 pm
Just came across this and have an update. Danielle moved back to SF and she and David are now roommates. She pretty much camps out in the living room all day, working from home, and he goes out to work. They seem to have a good roommate relationship. Both respect the others space, cook together, hang out together. It's good she kept the place, and now that she's back, he's paying less money, too.
I hope he is paying reduced rent now.

You stopped reading too soon.

peony · « **Reply #22 on:** March 24, 2021, 07:30:33 am »

Quote from: Lilac on June 16, 2019, 06:13:00 am

The landlord knows and doesn’t care.

I highly doubt there is a shortage of reputable renters in the Bay area, one of the tightest and costliest housing markets in the nation. Danielle could take her pick.

I am so surprised by the mistrust so many here have, with all the dire scenarios painted for how David might be taken advantage of. I guess we’ve had drastically different experiences in meeting friends of friends.

Not all strangers are good people. Some are not. It's hard to tell, even if someone vouches for them. If that's mistrust, it's a healthy mistrust for sure.

DaDancingPsych · « **Reply #23 on:** March 24, 2021, 12:26:11 pm »

Quote from: peony on March 24, 2021, 07:30:33 am

Quote from: Lilac on June 16, 2019, 06:13:00 am
The landlord knows and doesn’t care.

I highly doubt there is a shortage of reputable renters in the Bay area, one of the tightest and costliest housing markets in the nation. Danielle could take her pick.

I am so surprised by the mistrust so many here have, with all the dire scenarios painted for how David might be taken advantage of. I guess we’ve had drastically different experiences in meeting friends of friends.

Not all strangers are good people. Some are not. It's hard to tell, even if someone vouches for them. If that's mistrust, it's a healthy mistrust for sure.

They may not even qualify as a "bad person", but rather a terrible house guest. I can think of certain people who I wouldn't label as bad people, but still present reasons that I would not want them staying in my living quarters.

Rose Red · « **Reply #24 on:** March 24, 2021, 12:58:54 pm »

I don't even care if they are the perfect houseguest. I like my space and privacy. I like walking around in my pj with the holes. I like being lazy and don't clean. I don't put much effort into meals. Being nice for extended periods of time exhaust me.

In short, I'm a bad host for any events over a few hours.

Bad Manners and Brimstone

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Author Topic: Told my friend about "that won't be possible". Worked beautifully (Read 2575 times)

Lilac

Re: Told my friend about "that won't be possible". Worked beautifully

Rose Red

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HenrysMom

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Tea Drinker

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Babsie

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vintagegal

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TootsNYC

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peony

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DaDancingPsych

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Rose Red

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