In modern English language, when someone apologies, you're expected to say "It's okay" or "no problem." (Back in the day maybe people would say "I accept your apology" or something, I guess?) But what do you say when it's not okay and you're still annoyed?
Example 1:
We travel out of state for a wedding. Our friend Julia rented a car and we didn't. She offers to drive us to the ceremony. She, her DH, and baby are super late and we literally miss 1/3 of the ceremony. She apologized but it was NOT okay so I didn't just want to say it was! (And it wasn't like we could rent a taxi where we were, and she kept saying she was almost ready.) I think I just changed the topic when she apologized rather than directly responding (it was a while ago, I don't really recall).
Example 2:
Yesterday, Amy was supposed to come early to help us get ready for a party. Except she made some strange scheduling assumptions/snaffus and she kept changing the plan we'd agreed to and in the end she wasn't here to help us get ready. She apologized and I didn't really want to say it was okay because I was super annoyed. (And as I mentioned in the "small hugs" thread, I ended up short on time to get ready as it was because several relatives had accidentally arrived a day early for the party and we lost the whole afternoon to finish getting prepared.) I did end up saying it was okay because she did feel bad and I didn't want to rub it in, but the words didn't fit because, like I said, I was still annoyed.
What phrases do you all use in these situations?