Author Topic: "I'm on Instagram. I brought my own photographer."  (Read 1842 times)

TeamBhakta

"I'm on Instagram. I brought my own photographer."
« on: February 11, 2020, 06:29:08 pm »
Per a Reddit post, a wedding guest brought her own photographer to a friend's wedding. Miss Wedding Guest wanted pics for Instagram. Her boyfriend was a plus one; the photographer was her second (and unauthorized) plus one. The bride let the photographer stay, but wasn't happy about it. How would you handle a guest like that, if it was your wedding ?

from r/weddingshaming

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kckgirl

Re: "I'm on Instagram. I brought my own photographer."
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2020, 06:37:28 pm »
I would tell her the photographer cannot stay. If she put up a fuss, I'd ask them all to leave.
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Soop

Re: "I'm on Instagram. I brought my own photographer."
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2020, 07:30:24 am »
The letter writer mentioned the bride let it go, because she didn't want to create drama. Maybe I have a twisted sense of humour, but I'd be fine with creating that kind of drama. Would be a story to tell for years. I have no crazy stories from my wedding.
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Hmmm

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Re: "I'm on Instagram. I brought my own photographer."
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2020, 07:54:36 am »
Oh, hell no. As the bride I might not be the one to confront the friend but you can bet I'd be getting a sister, mother, aunt or someone to tell the friend that she was confused. It wasn't her wedding day but the couple's wedding day and if she wanted to use their wedding as a prop for her social media pages then she could pony up some money to pay for the event or else decide to take her photos at a different location or dismiss her employee for the day.
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lowspark

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Re: "I'm on Instagram. I brought my own photographer."
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2020, 07:58:32 am »
Oh, hell no. As the bride I might not be the one to confront the friend but you can bet I'd be getting a sister, mother, aunt or someone to tell the friend that she was confused. It wasn't her wedding day but the couple's wedding day and if she wanted to use their wedding as a prop for her social media pages then she could pony up some money to pay for the event or else decide to take her photos at a different location or dismiss her employee for the day.

Yup. I'd get someone else (as bride, I wouldn't want to be dealing with it personally) to quietly and politely show them the door.
All one would need to do is say to the guest, "bring your photographer and bf, there's something I'd like to show you outside." Then, after you are well out of the venue and away from other guests, you ask them to either ditch the photographer or all leave.
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TootsNYC

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Re: "I'm on Instagram. I brought my own photographer."
« Reply #5 on: February 12, 2020, 09:43:44 am »
The letter writer mentioned the bride let it go, because she didn't want to create drama. Maybe I have a twisted sense of humour, but I'd be fine with creating that kind of drama. Would be a story to tell for years. I have no crazy stories from my wedding.

Back when I wrote a weddings etiquette column, I used to say, "I"m not saying you should hope someone drops the cake on the dance floor, but if they do, you can dine out on that story for ages."
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Kimpossible

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Re: "I'm on Instagram. I brought my own photographer."
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2020, 10:58:46 am »
I don't see myself throwing the friend out of my wedding, but I would be cutting that so called friend out of my life afterwards.  I can't even fathom the gall of usurping someone else's special event for my own benefit.
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DaDancingPsych

Re: "I'm on Instagram. I brought my own photographer."
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2020, 12:14:47 pm »
The letter writer mentioned the bride let it go, because she didn't want to create drama. Maybe I have a twisted sense of humour, but I'd be fine with creating that kind of drama. Would be a story to tell for years. I have no crazy stories from my wedding.

Back when I wrote a weddings etiquette column, I used to say, "I"m not saying you should hope someone drops the cake on the dance floor, but if they do, you can dine out on that story for ages."

Hijack... Toots, I had no idea that you wrote such a column. I would be interested in reading these (if you should ever care to share.)

My reply... from my comfy chair, I want to say to kick that photographer out! But really it's your wedding day and sometimes there are more important things to worry about. But what a tacky friend. I would still be unimpressed, but I hope that this friend at least shared any photos that were taken, at least the ones that included the HC.
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Copper Horsewoman

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Re: "I'm on Instagram. I brought my own photographer."
« Reply #8 on: February 12, 2020, 12:41:44 pm »
I would tell her the photographer cannot stay. If she put up a fuss, I'd ask them all to leave.

Oh, I would get on the D.J.'s microphone, and inform the guests that "name" has brought her own photographer for her Instagram page, and that she will be responsible for getting image release forms from EVERYBODY who MIGHT be in a photo posted to her page. Also announce "influencer's" contact info AND the photographer's contact info, so that if any images appear of guests without permission, they should contact her for compensation.....
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TootsNYC

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Re: "I'm on Instagram. I brought my own photographer."
« Reply #9 on: February 12, 2020, 03:17:22 pm »
I would bet the photographer isn't planning to photograph anyone else at all.
They'll be photographing our Instagrammer exclusively.

jpcher

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Re: "I'm on Instagram. I brought my own photographer."
« Reply #10 on: February 12, 2020, 04:11:51 pm »
What is this world coming to? Whenever I think I 'heard it all' something like this pops up. :o ::) ???


Copper Horsewoman -- image release forms is a great thought!
« Last Edit: February 12, 2020, 04:13:31 pm by jpcher »
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oogyda

Re: "I'm on Instagram. I brought my own photographer."
« Reply #11 on: February 12, 2020, 08:16:12 pm »
Tell the bf and the photographer they can stay....friend has to go.
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Twik

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Re: "I'm on Instagram. I brought my own photographer."
« Reply #12 on: February 13, 2020, 10:49:38 am »
Tell the bf and the photographer they can stay....friend has to go.

I like this idea very much!
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BeagleMommy

Re: "I'm on Instagram. I brought my own photographer."
« Reply #13 on: February 13, 2020, 03:15:42 pm »
My wedding photographer had a clause in his contract that there would be no other professional photographers at my wedding or I would forfeit my right to the photos he took.  He didn't care if Aunt Susie took pictures with her Instamatic but no professionals.

I'd be telling friend that her photographer had to leave or her entire entourage would have to go.
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gellchom

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Re: "I'm on Instagram. I brought my own photographer."
« Reply #14 on: February 13, 2020, 07:55:48 pm »
Oh, just ... barf.

I’m so glad I don’t know that person!
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