Look, she’s just a little kid. I don’t know many kids her age who are empathetic cheerleaders for others. It’s just something she needs to work on, with your help. There’s always something! Some kids are violent or steal or lie, and that's worse, And their parents have to deal with that. And they do, and so can you.
I do agree with others that negativity about others, even secretly, isn’t a good strategy, though. In one of your posts, you indicated that it was a strategy you have used yourself. Maybe this will be good for both of you.
Success and blessings aren’t a zero sum game, and it’s an unhealthy trap to fall into thinking that way. Another person’s talents and triumphs do not reduce our own one bit. I love the candle analogy.
Brielle has many advantages and strengths that others do not. She didn’t get them at their expense. And they don’t have theirs at her expense, either.
I think she’s old enough to understand that.
This is why I suggest strongly that you steer her away from competitive situations. Dance classes, not competitive teams. Music and art lessons, not pageants. Exercise and play, not trophies. Focus on the skill and the joy of creation and improving, not WINNING. Because that’s the zero-sum mind set she needs to let go of — where only one person or team can be The Winner or The Star or The Only Child. You are in control of that, and she needs you to do it for her.
Improvement will be gradual and unsteady, so don’t be too hard on yourselves. She’s going to be fine.
Hugs to you both!
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