Author Topic: Rules for MOB and MOG wear  (Read 1360 times)

Rose Red

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Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
« Reply #30 on: October 01, 2019, 03:11:11 pm »
I think the tradition of the MOB wearing blue arose because blue is a practical color for a dressy outfit.  I doubt if there’s any ‘rule’ for Catholic Weddings but blue does seem to turn up more than pure chance would suggest.

I agree. When in doubt, wear blue. I don't think it has anything to do with Mary. It's just that it's a classic and safe color. The MOB or MOG wouldn't want to wear black to their children's wedding. If they don't want to wear beige or brighter colors, blue is a good safe choice.
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Copper Horsewoman

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Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
« Reply #31 on: October 01, 2019, 06:05:59 pm »
The only "rules" I had heard about MOB/MOG dressing was that they should wear clothes in the right formality for the wedding and that they should not wear things similar to the bridesmaids.

My wedding party was a rainbow (each bridesmaid in a different color) so color choice was open.  My mom picked her dress first by coincidence.  She wore a pretty teal dress.  My late MIL picked a gown of the same length in periwinkle, but it was not the same dress.  They both looked lovely.

Yes, our wedding (44 years ago this Friday! GULP!) was rainbow also (royal blue, garnet red and royal purple), my mom wore a turquoise dress with a white lace bodice, his mom wore a beautiful slate blue (she was a redhead - stunning). 
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Mary Sunshine Rain

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Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
« Reply #32 on: October 01, 2019, 09:26:32 pm »
Had no idea about the Catholic MOB in blue, but my mom wore blue to my wedding.  Come to think of it, she wore a blue dress to my sister's wedding too. 

Spooky!

shadowfox79

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Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
« Reply #33 on: October 02, 2019, 01:19:20 am »
I think my MIL's plan was "if in doubt wear blue" because that's what she did, even though she told me beforehand she didn't like the dress she'd bought because she looked "grannyish" in it. (SIL sweetly told her she was old enough to be a gran so she may as well look like it.)

Why she couldn't have just bought a dress she liked I have no idea.

My mother wore jade green. She'd have hated to wear pink.
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Aleko

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Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
« Reply #34 on: October 02, 2019, 01:36:52 am »
Quote
Why she couldn't have just bought a dress she liked I have no idea.

She sounds a bit like my two eldest aunts. Late in life, when both widowed and with all their children grown up and left home, they shared a house together. They had just one hat between them suitable for a wedding, and when invited to one they would toss to decide who got to wear it; but because neither of them actually liked the hat it was the loser who wore it! It wasn't that they couldn't both of them afford a hat they liked - they weren't poor; they just felt that you don't throw away a perfectly good and 'suitable' hat. A different generation!
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Chez Miriam

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Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
« Reply #35 on: October 02, 2019, 06:42:18 am »
Titanica, that is funny. I've never heard the blue/pink idea for MOB/MOG attire.

I've just been thinking that all of the "rules" didn't exist before 1960's when color photography became mainstream.

And when money was tighter!

My mum and dad's wedding photos show both sets of (my) grandparents in "church best" - best Sunday clothing, best Sunday hats [for the ladies].  I think other than my aunt who was a matron of honour, all the guests looked "Sunday best".  That was early 1960's and two families without a lot of spare money, and the 'reception' was tea and sandwiches at my maternal grandparents' house, before my parents left in the early afternoon to go on their honeymoon.

My grandmother wore her expensive wedding dress for years after. She had apparently scandalized the family by spending so much money on it. But part of why she did is that it became her go-to dress for teachers' wives luncheons, attending other people's weddings (even though her dress was white; it apparently wasn't a big deal), etc.

I think that's lovely!

Reminds me of a friend who got married when heavily pregnant, and bought a two-piece bodice and skirt set that looked like a (Mediaeval style) dress: she planned to have both pieces dyed afterwards, and taken in.  I think it was Vivienne Westwood, so would have definitely been an investment for the future.  She said she probably spent the same amount as she could have on a 'one time only' dress, but would get lots of wear out of the two parts once she was back out enjoying herself in the evening.
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."  - Julian of Norwich

Gellchom

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Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
« Reply #36 on: October 02, 2019, 02:31:40 pm »
When my son got married, the MOB and I (who live in different cities) had a lot of fun talking about our shopping efforts and sending each other pictures.  I believe I found mine first, but I'm sure that the MOB didn't care; she would have thought I was crazy to pass on a dress because she hadn't found hers yet.  We both felt like we were on a hunt together and were so happy for each other when we found dresses!

The attendants wore sage green, and the bride had asked us to try to find some shade of green, but she understood green might be hard to fine, so a harmonizing color would be fine.  MOB found a gorgeous taupe dress that she loved.  I would have bet against it, but the dress I found that I loved most was green (not sage).  The grandmothers on our side wore gold and royal blue; I don't remember what her grandmothers wore. 

Oh, I almost forgot: the bride has a stepmother, too, and she wore -- a long ivory gown!  She put a large, lightweight green wrap over it and made sure never to remove it.  Her little stepsisters, who were flower girls, wore white with green sashes, so I guess their mom's dress worked with those.   I found it a surprising choice, but if the bride cared, she didn't show it.

Everything blended nicely in the photos.
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bopper

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Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
« Reply #37 on: November 05, 2019, 10:49:44 am »
I thought the rule for the MOG was "Shut up and wear beige"

Gellchom

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Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
« Reply #38 on: November 05, 2019, 01:29:12 pm »
I thought the rule for the MOG was "Shut up and wear beige"

Well, but that's a joke, not a rule.  Or if it's a rule, then I just wore a very green shade of beige to my son's wedding.

(I'm sure you knew that, bopper, but we want to make sure we don't mislead anyone!   :) )
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TootsNYC

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Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
« Reply #39 on: November 05, 2019, 03:12:06 pm »
the "wear beige" thing is really a snappy way to say, "don't make things more difficult," I think.
And "you are not the most important person here" and even "you aren't the decision maker."

I think that in the days when mothers were greatly more involved in planning weddings, it would be easy to end up in a situation in which two women who were used to ordering and organizing their own households might instinctively end up trying to both do the "steering."

I think those two underlying thoughts (don't make it difficult; you aren't in charge) are still good things to be reminded of.
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Hmmm

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Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
« Reply #40 on: November 05, 2019, 03:19:06 pm »
the "wear beige" thing is really a snappy way to say, "don't make things more difficult," I think.
And "you are not the most important person here" and even "you aren't the decision maker."

I think that in the days when mothers were greatly more involved in planning weddings, it would be easy to end up in a situation in which two women who were used to ordering and organizing their own households might instinctively end up trying to both do the "steering."

I think those two underlying thoughts (don't make it difficult; you aren't in charge) are still good things to be reminded of.

Agree. Also it was from a time with the bride's family normally footed the bill for the wedding and reception and they were not considered a host of the event, just an "honored guest".
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VorFemme

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Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
« Reply #41 on: November 05, 2019, 03:43:53 pm »
I would say that the MOG and MOB should never wear black mourning dress, red satin that will attract attention away from the HC, or what looks like another wedding dress - but other than those broad guidelines, wear something comfortable that will look good in the photos and try to smile - people will forgive a lot if you look happy in the wedding photos.
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gramma dishes

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Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
« Reply #42 on: November 05, 2019, 06:58:06 pm »
I always thought the whole wear beige thing was because almost no matter what the other mother wore or what the official wedding colors were, beige would be unlikely to clash -- and would also be unlikely to attract attention away from the more prominently displayed members of the bridal party.
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Gellchom

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Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
« Reply #43 on: December 11, 2019, 01:20:54 pm »
I think that the beige thing is just the fashion equivalent of the other part of the formula of "Wear beige and keep your mouth shut."  That is, beige is the color equivalent of keeping your mouth shut -- i.e., letting the MOB be the focus, not the MOG.  (Not saying I agree with that!  Just that that is my understanding of the beige thing.)

I have been both MOG and MOB.  I wrote about my son's wedding above.  At my daughter's, when I was the MOB, I don't remember whether the MOG or I got our dress first, and I definitely did not care -- I never even thought about it until now.  I think I did.  But my daughter didn't care what color anyone wore.  My dress was black with magenta, the MOG wore gold, the MOH wore dark navy, and the bridesmaids (the bride's sister-in-law and the groom's sisters) wore black, navy (2), and flamingo orange (!). 
 
Boy, was I ever involved in the groom's mom's and three sisters' dresses, although not in selection.  For some reason, they all wanted to order from the US.  So my daughter had the dresses they wanted to try delivered to my house.  I had to take pictures and send them, and then ship them the choices (which is NOT cheap!).  And in an amusing irony, I bought my dress in their country!
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