Author Topic: Wedding Day Rain Plans  (Read 667 times)

DaDancingPsych

Wedding Day Rain Plans
« on: December 15, 2019, 04:49:27 pm »
I am rewatching "The Bachelor", specifically Jason and Molly's wedding. To say that it rained on their wedding day is an understatement; it stormed. Everything was soaked. Huge plants blew over. Glass vases broke. I guess you have figured out that the ceremony took place outdoors. In true reality show fashion, the skies did clear for the actual ceremony, but there was definitely footage of the planners covering seats in plastic and wedding guests walking under umbrellas. There was also a shoot of the wedding planner saying something about how she would have had a plan B, but that there wasn't one. I don't know why, but I would guess the producers wanted the rain drama.

It's a TV show, so we know that things are not always what they seem. But this got me thinking. I find it rather rude to the guests to ask them to sit on seats that were earlier covered in wet plastic, to sit and walk around in their fancy clothes with umbrellas, and to be in threat of flying plants. Am I wrong? Is forcing an outdoor wedding (no matter what) solely a decision of what the happy couple want or should their guests be taken into consideration?

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violinp

Re: Wedding Day Rain Plans
« Reply #1 on: December 15, 2019, 05:10:20 pm »
As a bride who had a *bunch* of rain on my wedding day - seriously, I was half - drenched after the outdoor photos, and it was 42 degrees in October! - I don't think outdoor weddings are rude by themselves...but making guests walk around getting cold and damp is probably rude. I am grateful we had a nice warm church for the ceremony, and a lovely reception hall for the latter portion of the day, but those outside photos...brrr.

I'm sure the rain drama was manufactured for the show to some extent. They have to make the show compelling to watch, so if that means they get a near - disaster, then great for their ratings.

DaDancingPsych

Re: Wedding Day Rain Plans
« Reply #2 on: December 15, 2019, 05:16:01 pm »
As a bride who had a *bunch* of rain on my wedding day - seriously, I was half - drenched after the outdoor photos, and it was 42 degrees in October! - I don't think outdoor weddings are rude by themselves...but making guests walk around getting cold and damp is probably rude. I am grateful we had a nice warm church for the ceremony, and a lovely reception hall for the latter portion of the day, but those outside photos...brrr.

I'm sure the rain drama was manufactured for the show to some extent. They have to make the show compelling to watch, so if that means they get a near - disaster, then great for their ratings.

I am totally fine if the bride and groom want outdoor photos in the rain or cold. And certainly the guests may have to be outdoors in sketchy weather to travel to and from the venues. My thoughts were on forcing an outdoor ceremony on a day that no one wants to be outdoors.

But I totally agree that the rain drama was manufactured!

Also, I think October is a beautiful month for a wedding!!!

violinp

Re: Wedding Day Rain Plans
« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2019, 05:23:59 pm »
As a bride who had a *bunch* of rain on my wedding day - seriously, I was half - drenched after the outdoor photos, and it was 42 degrees in October! - I don't think outdoor weddings are rude by themselves...but making guests walk around getting cold and damp is probably rude. I am grateful we had a nice warm church for the ceremony, and a lovely reception hall for the latter portion of the day, but those outside photos...brrr.

I'm sure the rain drama was manufactured for the show to some extent. They have to make the show compelling to watch, so if that means they get a near - disaster, then great for their ratings.

I am totally fine if the bride and groom want outdoor photos in the rain or cold. And certainly the guests may have to be outdoors in sketchy weather to travel to and from the venues. My thoughts were on forcing an outdoor ceremony on a day that no one wants to be outdoors.

But I totally agree that the rain drama was manufactured!

Also, I think October is a beautiful month for a wedding!!!


I meant walking around for the ceremony/trying to find seats. Sorry if that sounded confusing! I was just thinking of how if we did this knowing it was going to be miserable, how much worse would it be to do that to our guests, especially the elderly ones.
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Hmmm

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Re: Wedding Day Rain Plans
« Reply #4 on: December 15, 2019, 07:30:06 pm »
I think most of the time, guests are aware if a wedding will be held outdoors and should have some responsibility for dressing for the climate. However, I do agree that there should be contingency for bad weather. I've been a guest 3 times were weather was an issue.

The first was at a venue where the ceremony was to be outside in a garden and the reception indoors. The venue did not have an indoor space for the reception. So the timing was changed to have the cocktail hour first, then the rain let up and the ceremony commenced. They tried to get al the guests to go outside but most stayed inside and watched from the windows instead of braving the dampness and puddles. The wedding party was covered under a gazebo.

The second one the bride and groom were again having the ceremony outside but the cocktail hour was to be on a roof top deck. They went ahead with the ceremony outdoors. It wasn't raining, but extremely windy and damp. The site moved the cocktail reception inside but to a room that wasn't large enough to really accommodate everyone. I think in that instance some of us would have rather braved the wind instead of being squished.

The last one was again an outdoor service but indoor reception. The day was beautiful and the ceremony was a sunset service. But as soon as the sun set, the temp dropped about 20 degrees. The cocktail hour was held outside and most of the women were  huddling around the outdoor heaters to stay warm, me included. I think in that situation, we should have thought to bring wraps or jackets.

accountingisfun

Re: Wedding Day Rain Plans
« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2019, 08:23:21 am »
I had an outdoor wedding. It was SO lovely. I had a plan B put into place though - I had a backup indoor location available since I couldn't be sure of the weather, plus I had a giant tent so if some weather suddenly came up, it would be fine.

My Aunt had her wedding at the same location I had mine at and she did have to move to the plan B location due to weather, so I knew I needed a plan B. My cousin also got married at the same location and had a plan B as well. We just didn't want to have the guests be uncomfortable.
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PVZFan

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Re: Wedding Day Rain Plans
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2019, 09:31:59 am »
I think there's something about weddings that shifts people from "I'm hosting these guests" to "It's MY day!" I've been in situations at weddings that I firmly believe the HC wouldn't do in any other circumstance. From extremely hot outdoor weddings with zero shade. Weddings with spitting drizzle or cocktail hours where there were not enough seats for every guest. (We were at one with seats for less than 25% of the guests and it was a 90 minute cocktail hour. People drifted out of the area into other spaces in the hotel to get some relief from the standing.)

I think it's all rude honestly.
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gellchom

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Re: Wedding Day Rain Plans
« Reply #7 on: December 16, 2019, 01:56:56 pm »
I think a Plan B is important for an outdoor wedding (or any outdoor party).  Even if the weather turns out fine, you will save yourself some sleepless nights in advance.

I wrote about this once before, I believe, on the old site.  My cousin had a smallish (60 people or so?) wedding at a restaurant, with the ceremony in the courtyard and the reception indoors.  During the ceremony, a few raindrops began to fall.  Everyone pretended not to notice.  But then it started to rain for real -- not a storm, but a definite drizzle.  Eventually, the rabbi paused and asked if he should continue, wait, move inside, or what.  The bride and groom fortunately have great senses of humor and just shrugged it off.  So all the guests followed their lead and smiled and nodded that it was fine with us, too (I suspect that the cellist, though, was NOT thrilled!).  I think my son, then a teen, called out, "Rock on!"  A few of the guests grabbed some white tablecloths and stood underneath them for the last few minutes of the ceremony, which occasioned some joking about how we've all seen someone wear white to someone else's wedding, but we'd never seen anyone with the chutzpah to erect their own chuppa (wedding canopy).

The moral of that story is that everything turned on the bride and groom's relaxed reaction and who-cares attitude.  Had they been upset about everything not being P-E-R-F-E-C-T, it would have spoiled the happy vibe.  Instead, they made it even more fun and memorable.  The ice was all broken, everyone was talking to everyone else and laughing on the way into the reception.

So a Plan B is important, I think, but even with a Plan B, some things just always don't go according to plan, and it's really important that the couple (and hosts, if different) keep a happy attitude no matter what, because the guests will take their cue from them.
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Rose Red

Re: Wedding Day Rain Plans
« Reply #8 on: December 16, 2019, 02:04:47 pm »
I think a plan B is important for guests who are elderly, disabled, or have health issues. Even if the plan B is only having a room they can duck into.

A little rain won't bother me if an umbrella is sufficient. But I would be very upset if the weather causes the plants and furniture to fly, and you can't even see or hear anything because you're getting battered by the wind and rain.

GardenGal

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Re: Wedding Day Rain Plans
« Reply #9 on: December 16, 2019, 02:12:40 pm »
Eleven years ago DS married sweet DIL in an outdoor afternoon wedding in late May at a botanic garden.  We chose the date almost a year in advance to be one in which it had NEVER rained here in So. California (in this area our rainfall is about 99% between November and mid-April).  You guessed it - rained the day before as were were holding the late afternoon outdoor wedding rehearsal at our house (fortunately, we could do that under cover, and the rain held off until the rehearsal was about 80% done).  First thing the next morning DH called a rental place and got them to set up a tent that morning just in case it rained in the afternoon (which it did not).  The rain held off, there was a wooden dance floor (previously arranged for), and the extra cost for the tent (which was a lot, since it was very last minute) was well worth it for our peace of mind.
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Songbird

Re: Wedding Day Rain Plans
« Reply #10 on: December 16, 2019, 03:01:52 pm »
I think I may have told this story on the old site.  The wedding was a total disaster, through no fault of the bride and groom. 

The  venue was a local golf club.  The plan was to have an outdoor ceremony at 4 PM, with the reception to start at 7 PM.  they couldn't have the reception immediately following the ceremony because another reception was taking place at the venue in the afternoon. 

The venue had one huge party room, which could be subdivided into smaller rooms.  The other wedding was supposed to be a relatively small reception, leaving a portion of the party room available as a chapel for the 4 PM ceremony if the weather did not cooperate.

the sun was shining when we guests arrived at 4 PM.  The sun was shining when the bride arrived at 4:20.

And then the bride realized the marriage license was on the bureau in her bedroom. 

By the time the license was retrieved ...you guessed it, the weather had changed.  Pouring rain. 

We all took refuge in the bar with the golfers. 

And that's when we found out that the other wedding was not so small, that the other wedding was taking up the entire party room, and there was no chapel available for our bride and groom. 

And when the rain didn't let up,   The bride and groom had to get married in the bar...

There were several other incidents that night -- a band that was supposed to start playing at 7 but didn't start to play until 8, a photographer who was less than sober -- that resulted in the groom's mother asking me for my professional opinion as to whether the bride and groom could sue the venue for breach of contract. 


Soop

Re: Wedding Day Rain Plans
« Reply #11 on: December 16, 2019, 03:09:15 pm »
At one outdoor wedding I attended, all the guests were given a gift of a golf umbrella stenciled with the B&G's names and the date. Luckily we didn't need them. I never asked what the Plan B was (and I'm sure there was one knowing the bride). One thing that was awkward was that it was on her dad's back lawn and the women in heels had trouble walking on the grass.

gramma dishes

Re: Wedding Day Rain Plans
« Reply #12 on: December 16, 2019, 06:57:00 pm »
... Weddings with spitting drizzle or cocktail hours where there were not enough seats for every guest. (We were at one with seats for less than 25% of the guests and it was a 90 minute cocktail hour. People drifted out of the area into other spaces in the hotel to get some relief from the standing.)

I think it's all rude honestly.

Some idiot thought it would be a great idea to purposefully have only enough seats for 1/4 to 1/3 of the invited guests so the others would be 'encouraged' to walk around and mingle.  Unfortunately, the first 20 people to get the seats were terrified to leave them 'cause they knew they'd never get them back, so instead of mingling they just glued themselves in place.   

You're right.  It is rude.

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Aleko

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Re: Wedding Day Rain Plans
« Reply #13 on: December 17, 2019, 03:03:45 am »
OK, I know I'm a dinosaur, but from the bottom of my heart I disagree with the notion that a wedding is or should be "all about what the happy couple want". If the happy couple want only to please themselves, let them get married alone, just the two of them. But as soon as you invite people to come and celebrate your wedding, they are your GUESTS, and hosts have obligations to their guests in any and all circumstances. These people have, at the very minimum, taken time out of their lives to put on their best frocks and travel to honour and celebrate you (not to mention bring you presents!), and you have a corresponding duty to look after their comfort and enjoyment. Obviously any wedding can meet with unexpected disaster, and no gathering of disparate people can thrill everyone; but if the happy couple make plans that are likely to leave their guests soaked / cold / hungry / twiddling their thumbs for hours / badly out of pocket / embarrassed, because 'it's our day and this is what we want!', they are being selfish and rude.
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Hmmm

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Re: Wedding Day Rain Plans
« Reply #14 on: December 17, 2019, 10:48:51 am »
OK, I know I'm a dinosaur, but from the bottom of my heart I disagree with the notion that a wedding is or should be "all about what the happy couple want". If the happy couple want only to please themselves, let them get married alone, just the two of them. But as soon as you invite people to come and celebrate your wedding, they are your GUESTS, and hosts have obligations to their guests in any and all circumstances. These people have, at the very minimum, taken time out of their lives to put on their best frocks and travel to honour and celebrate you (not to mention bring you presents!), and you have a corresponding duty to look after their comfort and enjoyment. Obviously any wedding can meet with unexpected disaster, and no gathering of disparate people can thrill everyone; but if the happy couple make plans that are likely to leave their guests soaked / cold / hungry / twiddling their thumbs for hours / badly out of pocket / embarrassed, because 'it's our day and this is what we want!', they are being selfish and rude.

I completely agree. I do believe the couple can choose the style of wedding they want but once chosen they need to make it comfortable and accessible to their invited guests.

My favorite story was my brother in law's sister who decided they wanted a ranch wedding that would require their 50 guests to do a 30 min trail ride out to a meadow for the ceremony, a ride back for casual cocktail hour then everyone was to change into dressy clothes for the evening reception. Additionally, the ranch only had about 30 horses, so the majority of the guests would go up and wait for the wedding party and the other guests to come up. Thankfully, the wedding coordinator at the ranch convinced them that wasn't a good idea and got them to make that into their optional activity the night before the wedding. Even with that, my sister and BIL complained about how sore they were the next day because they had not been in a saddle for 20 plus years.
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